Cornfusion

I left Rockford when I graduated high school. Unemployment in Rockford was at 28% in 1978. I went out to visit the relatives in Nebraska and my parents said look for a job there and don't come back if you find one. I did, so I didn't. The band Cheap trick originated in Rockford, two of them went to the same school as me. But back then, everybody with a guitar or drum set was in a band and going to make it big, so nobody paid any attention to them...until they made it big.

You got that right. Eventually, all seven kids moved out of Illinois with my parents following. Thankfully.

More details about Santa in the Entertainment/lulz section. I didn't want to get off on a tangent here. https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/index.php?/topic/16287-i-saw-santa-claus-die/&tab=comments#comment-2533309

This came up in a different thread, and I didn't want to hijack it. I saw Santa Claus die back in 1965. Technically, it was Santa Claus' elf, but those of us on the ground didn't know that. We thought it was Santa Claus. Our family just moved to Illinois, as my dad got a job in tool & die. Mom wanted to take advantage of the the "big city" attractions and loaded all seven kids up in the Pontiac to go to North Towne Mall, where the local radio station had teamed up with the shopping center to have Santa Claus fly in from the North Pole and parachute into Santa's village. The plan was for the "jumping Santa" to land and then the "Tell me what you want for Christmas" Santa would trade places with him. Mom was afraid Santa would land on one of her kids, so we kind of hung back. The On Air personality was out there whipping up the crowd into a Yuletide frenzy. When the plane came, he told us all to sing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" so Santa would hear and he would know tha he was in the right place, else he might jump. Everybody was singing their hearts out, even my usually skeptical older brother. He wasn't risking his Christmas wish list because he was too cool to sing. Somebody in the plane threw out a roll of toilet paper to gauge the wind, and then Santa jumped. I remember Santa spinning, with a green smoke bomb on one leg and a red smoke bomb on the other. He was in what pilots would call a "flat spin" which made for crazy but cool looking red and green spiral smoke. Those smoke bombs proved fatal, as somehow it snagged his main chute and then the main chute snagged his reserve chute.He landed on the other side of the four lane from the mall. They said it was somebody's backyard. Lots of people yelling and screaming, mostly parents. (Does this remind anybody of that WKRP episode with throwing turkeys out of the helicopter?) I remember a little girl in a beret being dragged by her mom and both were screaming. I couldn't make out exactly what I had seen. Mom grabbed as many of the little kids as she could (I'm still impressed she could hold hands with three or four at a crack) and told us Santa would be at Meadow Mart Mall, but we drove right on by it and went home. Protests by us kids were met with a "We'll go later! Everybody be quiet and sit still!" I think Mom was trying to flee from any more plummeting North Pole denizens that might still be airborne. Dad didn't like crowds, so he stayed home and was going to watch the whole show from across the Rock River with his binoculars. Mom pulled into the driveway and ordered all of the kids into the house. Dad came boiling out of the house when he saw Mom pull up into the driveway. He still had his binoculars around his neck. Dad hollered as she put the car into Park, "How low was that sonofabitch when he opened his 'chute?!" Mom replied, "Just get into the house! Everybody just get into the house!" https://1440wrok.com/flashback-the-1965-santa-incident-at-north-towne-mall/ Ten years ago, I found out that the pilot of that plane actually married Santa's widow(actually the elf's widow, but everybody still calls him Santa to this day) a few years later. Five years later, I watched a guy on a hang glider being pulled by a boat deep six himself. His tow line snapped and it sounded like a rifle shot. He fell in a bent over position almost like he was unconscious. I ran into tell Mom and she said, "Oh he did not! That would kill him if that happened!" Next morning they pulled him out of the mud in six feet of water from the Rock River.

I would go after whomever is responsible for Santa Claus falling to his death. I remember Dad coming out of the house with the binoculars around his neck before Mom even got the Pontiac in the driveway, yelling, "How low was that Sonofabitch when his chute opened?!" MOM: "Just get in the house! Everybody get into the House!"

Well then, you don't take any risks when it comes to coronavirus. Just don't include me in your plans.

Look, if you are scared of coronavirus, you're scared and I can't talk you out of it. I also understand it. I'm scared of heights. You can quote me all the statistics and point out how unlikely it would be for me to die from falling, but I saw two different people fall to their deaths when I was a kid (One was Santa Claus, but that's another story) so I am always going to be that way...forever. Same with you and coronavirus, I guess. I can point you to studies that say doctors kill more people a year than coronavirus (250,000 John Hopkins Study) but you will still be more afraid or coronavirus than doctors. Where we disagree is letting YOUR fear impact MY life or the lives of others. I don't try to make mountain climbing illegal because I think it is too dangerous. You shouldn't be the same with coronavirus and football players. You can have the last word.

My son's first turkey, taken this last spring. 21 lbs. 10 oz.

The first member of the "40 pound club". In order to qualify, one has to fill both turkey permits and the total has to reach or exceed 40 pounds. My cousin Bill here has done it twice, my brother once, and my uncle once and my other uncle once. Not me...

So far this year, 26,000 students nationwide have been diagnosed with coronavirus. ZERO PERCENT of these students have needed hospitalization. Most were unaware that they had this "deadly virus".

Cleaning up blood. The guy slashed his own throat just after breakfast. Like somebody said, the mental illness dwarfs the physical problems. I always said that Chaplain should write a book when he retires.

I volunteer at a local homeless shelter. When this whole coronavirus panic started, I asked the night chaplain there what the shelter planned on changing due to the coronavirus. He looked at me with a deadpan expression and said, "You know, in the 20 some years that I have been here, I have been exposed to HIV, full blown AIDS, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, ...not Hepatitis E yet..., drug resistant tuberculosis, MRSA, and an airborne staph infection that I didn't even know was a thing. Plus head lice and bedbugs. Coronavirus doesn't even make my top ten."

My brother has diabetes and had bronchitis and went right into coronavirus. He said the bronchitis was ten times worse. He also smoked dope for 40 years, so no such thing as "an automatic death sentence" from coronavirus.

...even though they were Spitfire pilots in the RAF. The world hates a coward.

In other news, Big Ten Commissioner Kevin Warren has found additional ballots that were not correctly tabulated during the vote for fall sports. The vote now stands at 423 for playing fall sports and 11 against. He had inadvertently left them in the trunk of his car the morning of the vote.

It was sometime after 2003, if I remember correctly.

Probably the most important thing to remember here is that Nebraska returning to the BIG XII will NEVER happen. The other thing is that Nebraska wasn't the first or last to walk out of a conference that contained Texas. Arkansas was first, Aggie hurt the most, Colorado was looking at someone else even while they kissed the bride, and Missouri always had their eyes set on the better looking sisters, the SEC and B1G. There's one common denominator in everybody's bad relationships...

So what year Natty shirt did you say you wear?...Wanna borrow one?...

LOL, will you be wearing a Shriner's hat and your merit badge sash as well? Then you will get a "Hi", a three fingered salute and secret handshake in recognition of you being the awesome you that you are on account of what you wear. Last word is yours, now I'm just picking on you.

Probably thought you were just another illegal. They account for 90% of the Longhorns gear seen here in Nebraska. Go stand outside of one of the packing plants here in Nebraska and see for yourself. Also, don't be an attention whore. Who gives a f*ck about who gets off a plane? Why would a Texas logo mask be any different than a "Vote for Hillary" button? They are both something from the past. If you want to rile Nebraskans up, a Wisconsin Badger mask probably would have worked.

I was talking about back in the day when it was "our" conference, not "yours". Being Nebraska in a conference that had Oklahoma and not playing Oklahoma every year was something that was not well received by most Nebraska fans. Put yourselves in our place and ask yourself if you would have been okay with the Big 12 if it meant the end of playing Oklahoma every year.

The Maryland Terrapins say "Hi!"

What does that have to do with Nebraska not playing Oklahoma every year?

Well you guys smeared and lied and attacked us publicly. I don't see why we should be eager to forgive and forget that bullshit. And now you are in a league that treats you as you pretended we treated you. Justice. But hey if you ever do want to come back you know this is your true home. Even if you suck we will take you back. Just ask nicely. Until then enjoy being taken for granted and screwed around by a league who doesn't give a fuck about you. A simple "No, we are not." would have sufficed.