This is an interesting discussion. On one hand I have a large group of friends that I've known since grade school in The Woodlands. In fact, 8 of them flew out to Portland to visit me last week and go to concerts, play disc golf and 42. We all dressed up as DEVO and went to the Modest Mouse/Pixies concert. As they were all packing up to fly back home it was decided that this is now an annual event with locations to change. Red Rocks, Fillmore, etc. We also meet every year at my friend's ranch in Corrigan for a disc golf tournament. In many ways disc golf and similar music tastes have been the tie that binds us. But they are all in Texas, and I'm in Portland, and I miss them and all of the daily stuff they do. There is a weekly round of DG on Friday mornings that I wish I could join in. There are 20 of us on a group chat in which we share our ups and downs, insult and cheer each other. I love them.
Last week I had extra tickets to the Hermosa Gutierrez concert. As I went through my contact list to try and give it away I realized how few friends I have here even though I've been here for 10 years. I've been searching to no avail for some people to play 42 with. I play in dg leagues and tournaments and have superficial connections with the players on my local course but haven't really connected yet. I probably need to try harder.
One thing I did this summer is build a stage in my backyard and started hosting concerts. Community building and supporting the artists are my primary intentions. Its slow going but word is starting to spread. I've been volunteering at music festivals and surrounding myself with people that love live music as I do.
I'm also one of those extraverted introverts. I like the energy of being around people. I also like watching really shitty sci-fi by myself. Sometimes I get a knot in my throat when I'm around new people. Sometimes I'm the life of the party. I tend to have more adventures than most of the people I come across. I'm a 51 yo that still acts 20 years younger. I'm newly single and am now getting my mojo back and seeing the sparkle in attractive women's eyes.
I'm doing what I can to foster new relationships but can never attain what it is I had/have with my lifelong friends in Texas. Social media has helped keep me included but I also don't want to fall victim to the doom scrolling that I catch myself doing. It feels very bipolar but I feel hopeful that better times are ahead. That hope will be enough to keep me going for awhile.