NoctambulantBrobdingnagian

He is one of the top 3 defensive midfielders, number 6 positionally if you will, in the league He is like top 5 in tackles won (1 fewer game than the league leader) and top 5 in passing percentage as well I believe.

yea, and I think that was only the second red of his career, completely lost his mind for no reason; stupid fucking foul at mid field

fuck, you forget the guy is on the field until they announce Housen has almost done something good...again

Did this garner any aggy anguish? Where does that leave us in the rankings?

Again, I don't know a fucking thing a bout him. You want to be less subtle and give me the short story?

Why is this again? I don't know much about him other than he's come up through the U.S. youth system.

the second Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, and Tottenham get relegated to the Championship, the Championship becomes the Premier League

I can confirm that this is true according to my anonymous sources. The underlying reason is even more miraculous. Malcolm Epps had been diagnosed with narcolepsy by the previous staff. As everyone who has watched Epps play can attest, this has affected his aggression and blocking ability. The new staff has decided to take a more unconventional approach. They have synchronized Spring practices to coincide with Epps sleeping episodes (this is the actual reason for the delay in practices, not covid). This is where it gets interesting: the new staff found out that Epps also had violent nightmares while having a narcoleptic episode. Says one former anonymous player, "[Bleep] dude, when that mother[Bleeper] is asleep it's like that kung fu movie where Kareem Abdul Jabbar fights Bruce Lee". (said my anonymous source Juwan Mitchell, remember to delete sources name later) Says one anonymous coach, "Uh yea, we just have one of the players on offense walk him to his place on the line. When Bijan runs behind Epps when he starts to flail, it usually goes for a touchdown." Well, there you have it, this confirms what Kirk Johnson has been telling me during his what should have been stellar career. -- Chip Brown

How long did it take you to convince the Buckeyes of this?

Look dude, the other 'choice' was a guy who couldn't bench a 100 lbs. Lay off the Trailblazers.

Linguists, cunning or otherwise, are still not sure what language the Ogre speaks

then why do you continue to perpetuate the story that Strong was a good coach?

fixed

Narrator: and inevitably fail

negged

This captures my thoughts succinctly. Dude is an aggy.

Congrats on your recent citizenship Mrs. EJ?

I'm comforted by the the unassailable fact that there is no way Carl can spell my user name correctly.

Let's get rid of Carl again my dudes

the joke's on you Saty, your search for 'disaster' came up positive for the Longhorns

No, the next motto should be: For fuck's sake, don't be Carl

that's weirdly specific, sir

Most of their fans are fans of the mascot rather than the football and arrive fairly late