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TotallyLegit

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Everything posted by TotallyLegit

  1. In 30 years, a cybernetic android player by the name of Camdre Wared will come online. He will play for the Tulane Shreveport campus (New Orleans is underwater), throw for 800 yards a game and beat VaTech by 1.414 points (all game state possibilities are simulated until convergence is achieved). He will be carried by a Boston Dynamics electric palanquin onto the stage at the Downtown Athletic Club (now rebuilt), where he is handed the Heisman Trophy by his fathers (made legal by the Semen Digitalization Act), Andre Ware and Cam Ward.
  2. Talk about a Heisman moment!
  3. Their move-the-chains offense:
  4. That's it GET REID WATKINS OUT OF THERE if i wanted to see someone pump his legs while achieving nothing, I'd put in my sex tape
  5. Colonel Colon
  6. "66 yard drive, all on the ground, but none of the runs were over 23 yards " - Lowell Galindo, when he masturbates tonight.
  7. Anyone mentioned Matt Rhule looks like the SEC roll call guy?
  8. LOL, "you're not allowed to throw punches, right?" Might be the unintentionally funniest thing I've heard a commentator say.
  9. As someone who hasn't provided value in decades and could use some easy credit, I'm finding these Matt Leinart Discover ads persuasive.
  10. This Illinois offense is borderline prudish.
  11. I assume he headbutted everyone and kept a dictionary open to the definition of insanity during Herman-era tailgates.
  12. "How do you do?" is probably the dumbest thing a commentator could say that wouldn't get him fired on the spot. Any worse, and he'd have to say, "Heil Hitler" or something.
  13. He said "NSIAP", so he can do whatever he wants.
  14. I don’t mean to align myself with him but merely position myself as no better than him. I’m @futureman if he feigned self-awareness.
  15. I guess this argument started because I quoted @futureman, so allow me to clear the air. If you have @futureman on ignore, you almost certainly should have me on ignore.
  16. Your sarcasm sarcasm meter is broken.
  17. Yeah, but Arch gets out of getting pulled over more quickly.
  18. Contact is the better Sagan-Hollywood connection.
  19. Arch v Quinn determines the race of the scout team QB
  20. Wrong. If you want to win the Heisman and more, you let Arch play the entire ULM game. You dial up 12 touchdown passes for him (breaking David Klingler's record). In the postgame press conference, you casually drop, "Yeah, Arch broke a 34-year-old record, and now I'm not sure that this record will ever be broken", while staring unblinkingly at Quinn the whole time. The night before the Mississippi State game, you knock on Quinn's dorm room. You say, "You want to start against the Sooners? You know what you need to do." The next day, you and Quinn beat Mississippi State 224-0, breaking John Heisman's record and succeeding in converting 28 two-point conversions. After the game, you call two Bulldog coeds down from the bleachers. You tell them you and Quinn will cheer them up in the locker room. You wink knowingly. They're from Mississippi, so they're total sluts and immediately agree to join you. But they didn't know which locker room to go to and guessed wrong because they're from Mississippi. It doesn't matter. You're not going to the locker rooms. You're heading straight to the airport to fly non-stop to New York. You've got a date with a stiff-arming bronze trophy, and you'd hate to keep him waiting.
  21. Yeah, I bet we'll see some explosive plays against ULM.
  22. lol our backup is the 2nd best qb in the country
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