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Everything posted by closetojumping
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Until I saw the non-edited post quoted where the dildo comment was made, I didn't understand where the "homophobic slur" reference was pointed. I read your quote of his 3 times trying to understand what I was missing. "Great, is there some new way of using an old word that I now have to stop using?" Phew. You might as well be kicking the old guy's walker out from underneath him. Just put him on ignore and he can verbally vomit all over this board with impunity as the septuagenarian version of spyder2yguy. Trust me, it's an easy fix. I'm not sure about the dildo part of this as I'm admittedly happily inexperienced, but I do know I apparently feel this way about sunglasses and umbrellas, as I seem to lose 20+ of each product to the public domain each calendar year. -
My wife and I thought this would be fun to watch. Turned it off after 15 terrible minutes and started watching season 2 of The Night Agent.
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Donnie Brasco is overrated tripe. I've tried to watch it 3 or 4 times in my life and have wound up finding better shit to do and never finishing it. That includes turning it off at least once and turning the tv over to a Chopped or something else like it. The Untouchables gets knocked because it's not off-broadway enough for a lot of you guys who fancy yourselves as enlightened movie critics. Capone beats the literal brains out of a guy with a baseball bat. Ness throws Frank Nitty off of a fucking building to his death (I know this factually didn't occur, but it's a satisfying ending). It's set in Chicago at Capone's height. There are several iconic movie scenes and lines with great fucking actors in them - the blood oath scene with Costner and Connery; the mounty border raid "The surprise is half the battle." "Many things are half the battle, losing is half the battle. Let's think about what's the whole battle."; Ness confronting Capone in his hotel; and of course the train station with the stairs, the shootout, the stroller - "You got him?" "Yeah, I got 'em." .... "Take 'em." bang! It's a movie about Al fucking Capone and Elliott Ness, was written by David Mamet, directed by Brian De Palma, and Connery won the academy award for Best Supporting Actor. It is about as gangster as a movie can get and it was really well done. I don't expect it to be in many gangster top 5's, but deriding it is silly. ********* Also, for everyone who obsesses about Goodfellas being at the top of the heap, I don't even think that's Ray Liotta's best gangster movie. Copland is one of the most underrated movies of all time. The cops were the gangsters, Harvey Keitel was terrific, a coked out Liotta was fantastic and Stallone was actually really good as the buffoonish foil to Keitel's menacing mob of miscreants. Oh, and DeNiro had an amazing scene while literally eating a sandwich and going on a tirade with his mouth full.
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This is a certainty. I don't have any special insights on that happening, but I have fairly decent common sense, I hope, and it seems obvious that that would have a generally negative impact on "giving". Without going into details for hopefully obvious reasons, I can say that as of last week, there are two things I feel fine with the board knowing: 1) There's a C-corp in existence under TOF lying fallow. It was requested by some of the larger donors for ease of transition in the event of the IRS rescinding the 501(c)3 status. Folks want to ensure competitiveness for the different UT sports programs regardless of tax benefits. The tax benefits absolutely help, though. 2) While a recent development, Del Conte and the powers-that-be throughout the AD and UT admin have a clear understanding that there is going to be an ongoing need to an active and helpful external NIL program long after the AD is able to start sharing revenue. Thankfully, some of these other dumbass institutions cannot keep their mouths shut and have stated quite clearly that they're going to use NIL collectives as a topper to win talent acquisition after the House Settlement "makes all things otherwise equal". Most of the money isn't doing this for tax purposes, but that certainly helps. Like I said, I think losing 501(c)3 status would have a generally negative impact on giving, but I don't think it would be some sort of crushing blow. The past, present and future scenarios have been hashed and rehashed with the bigger donors.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2026: They Can't Keep Getting Away With This
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
One of you dorks is tracking silent commit/Hi stuff, right? I know they've had like 2-3 for awhile and some of that would have gone public but for Sarkisian being ill for JR Day. -
I had the idea, did a quick search and then typed something out in 2 minutes before a call. Obviously I meant Boyz N the Hood.
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@SquishMitten can offer a better opinion. The day has always likely been coming, but there's safe harbor for everyone who participated before anything gets rescinded, I believe.
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I don't see how either of those guys carries the day at QB3 through the draft. A lot of people expect Milroe to do well at the combine, but I could see him being a disaster in the throwing drills.
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2025 Texas Coaching/Support Staff Thread
closetojumping replied to RaysBoomBoomRoom's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Somebody thought enough of you to marry you and have your baby? Is she a goth/emo type that thinks the world is always about to end? Congrats on both, regardless. I'm actually amused at the notion of some chippy, happy-go-lucky woman discovering sarvanash in their company's accounting or engineering department and thinking that she can fix him. Or maybe in real life, sarvanash is like the funnest, chirpiest guy at the office. It's only on Surly in which he shows his deep, dark, "it's the end of the world as we know it" self.- 1446 replies
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2026: The World's Drunkest Elk
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Did they do one after ATM lost to Baylor in 2004 or did they stop doing them after Slocum was fired? -
I looked and couldn't find a thread on this. If there is one, ban me and delete my account, I guess. Anyway, I just watched The Departed for like the 15th time the other day and thought about this. Not just the mafia, but any gangster movie. There are tons. Here are my top 5: 1) The Godfather II 2) The Departed 3) The Godfather 4) The Untouchables 5) Snatch Thought about Boyz N the Hood and Road To Perdition in there too. Good Fellas and at least Scarface could be "closetojumping is a dipshit" omissions, I guess. Also, Pulp Fiction isn't a gangster movie.
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This is doing it right. I've had almost the exact same meals at GW Fins and Clancy's. The food makes it worth it. I'm salivating right now thinking about a meal there. I'd much rather have a place that gets the food right and doesn't nail the atmosphere than vice versa. Now a bar? I'd probably flip that.
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Given OU's dominance over the sport, I don't think anyone was wrong to have slotted them at #1. I don't always think that for returning champs, but geez.
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Carnell Tate stayed and many thought he'd transfer. Ohio State is kind of like Texas and Georgia in that they lose a lot, but they also return a lot of talent. Georgia got really hammered and loses 18 of 22 starters. Texas lost 13/14 and OSU lost like 16. They return Downs and Styles on defense, losing the other 9 starters. They return Smith, Tate, and 3 OL but they lost the other 6 on offense, including weapons Judkins, Henderson, and Egbuka, and both OTs and the injured OTs before them. They brought in quality transfers at TE, RB, and 2 OT. They'll be playing with an inexperienced freshman at QB unless they buy one in the spring window. The defense is a complete rebuild with a new coordinator. I think Ohio State will be a top 20 next year, with potential to go top 10 if the transfers fit, the OC and DC hires are great, and the QB is worthy of the hype. They've basically not been out of the top 25 in over a decade, so I'm not going to bother considering a real downside for those shitheads. Of course, it's almost impossible to really think through any team's 2025 outlook until the spring portal closes.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2026: They Can't Keep Getting Away With This
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Gerry posted what I would call an extremely bullish 50/50 list yesterday. 50/50 meaning that, right now, Texas has as good of a shot at landing each of these as anyone. That would also mean that Texas is likely signing the top class in the country again if they land most of these dudes.- 2669 replies
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Yeah did Uber to and from the airport in December and everything went fine.
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2025 Texas Coaching/Support Staff Thread
closetojumping replied to RaysBoomBoomRoom's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
He’s a volume recruiter that can land 5 stars as well as anyone. These people negging his coaching skills are also idiots. There isn’t another coach for that position that anyone here can confidently state would be an upgrade. Also, @Codaxx saying the RB “lacks star power” is fucking dumb. Baxter was a budding star and the number 1 RB recruit in the country. His loss was discussed nationally from the day it happened through the end of the year. Gibson was also highly rated and Wisner is now a known asset with anyone covering the sport or watching games. Just a fucking dumb take.- 1446 replies
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2026: They Can't Keep Getting Away With This
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Their decline in relevance predates NIL. The rise of the street agent in the mid 00’s drove HS coaching relevance decline. NIL just iced it. -
That KenPom is full of shit, man.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2026: They Can't Keep Getting Away With This
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
I count 15 out of 29. Where is the 31 coming from? Clearly, Gerry thinks Mater Dei is loaded and Texas can feast. -
No one should expect anything from him this year other than garbage time and/or special teams. He’s a true freshman on a stacked roster and then there’s the baseball. Only true mouthbreathers should be expecting else.
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
You’re too humble. I get it. I, too, often shrink from the limelight of center stage in an effort to give others their moment. I can’t allow it here though, so I’ll let everyone see your true Longhorn patriotic commitment to the cause with the text of your last DM: “I only regret, that I have but one mouth to give for my team’s roster. “- 8043 replies
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Texas didn’t have a DL coach for a big part of the cycle last year. That played a role. Oregon took the UH guy with fuck you money and then Venables went nuts for Damonic Williams. That guy needs DTs the way Catholic priests need Jesus. He’s like SuperHelobious. Texas also had signals from people around both Michigan DTs that they were thinking about entering the portal. All of that led to activity in the second window that felt sort of “meh” to everyone. Of course, just like the cycle for the 2023 season, there were a few crybabies on here who bitched about NIL letting the program down at DT and predicting the program’s near term demise accordingly. Kickers need more finesse than anything that, allegedly, Helobious can provide. @BurntOrange&White has DM’d me multiple times that he’s happy to be on deck for the team if a gentle ball gargler is needed. It might be time to call him up.- 8043 replies
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Yeah, that happened after he signed with Georgia. She got the promotion shortly thereafter. Super strange. -
The problem with the recruiting projections is that too many idiots, paid or otherwise, incorporate their NFL projection into what a program should want as a college player.
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