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Everything posted by closetojumping
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I'm not guaranteeing a win. I'm merely pointing out the absurdity of the claims being made about all of these suddenly conjured OSU "advantages". They have one clear advantage - they possess the best WR room in the country. Never mind the fact that Texas held JJ Smith to 3 yards and 1 catch 8 months ago, I acknowledge freely that the OSU WR room is awesome. Outside of that, these are 2 of the 3 best rosters in college football 2025. Anyone claiming a bunch of OSU advantages otherwise is attempting to read the future in tea leaves. "New guy" meant new starter. I figured that was kind of obvious. Guilbeau has been at Texas for 3 seasons. He won't be new to the field either. Peoples looks fine. You're comparing him to a room with multiple players ranked higher than him out of high school or with better numbers and experience than him in college, and Baxter has him in both regards, and then saying "gee, I think we might have a better RB room". That's objectively comical.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
You don't have to feign giving a shit about players that aren't from Westlake. Anyone who has been on this site for any period of time knows that you're a Westlake stan first and foremost and anything else, including Texas football, is an afterthought. Just one other thing, though. The next time you're masturbating on a Zoom call with Sam, will you do the rest of us a favor and ask him if Texas is back? -
Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I've developed the opinion over time that it would be great to see Texas bring Simms back for a game on the sidelines with some sort of happy hat tip to the guy. I know that's problematic since half the stadium is likely a bunch of idiots who might boo him and there's really no way he belongs in the Texas HOF or whatever it's called. Maybe it would just be great if Sarkisian invited him to come down for a practice and an interview or something. It's just always bothered me that idiots ruined his relationship with his alma mater. His signing with Texas made a giant fucking difference for the program from a national POV early in Mack Brown's tenure. -
You're not going to gaslight a board of fanatics who have studied your team for 9 months and actively monitored your forums and read all of your insider updates as if they were our own. -You do not have 4 returning OL starters. Starting a few games in the playoffs or post-injury is not what classifies a player as a returning starter. If that were the case, Texas also has 4 returning OL starters because Hutson has started like 14 games in his career, Goosby started 2-3 late last year and Robertson started a game or two back in 2022 or 2023. -TE is debatable. You guys love your guys and Klare is a stud. Texas loves Endries and its other guys as well. Both programs have highly ranked guys in the TE room and both starters put up great numbers for mediocre to shitty teams last year. You guys seem to want to clearly demarcate an advantage there and it's bullshit. -Downs =/= an entire secondary. You don't even know who is actually going to start at the other safety spot yet. Igbinonigniminious is a penalty machine. He was burnt more than bad toast last season and forced into PI and holding penalties against anyone of value. The other CB position will feature a new guy. Texas also returns an AA at Safety. Texas also returns two other starters at Safety/NB and a better returning starter at CB in Muhammad than what OSU has in Igbo. Texas is in the same position of putting a new, highly recruited starter at CB, whoever wins the job. -Texas evaluated Peoples and passed. We were fine as recruitniks watching you guys take him out of state. Donaldson has taken more bullets than a gun range dummy and Bo Jackson is actively in the process of passing him on the depth chart. Texas has 5 guys it can rotate at RB, one of whom is a returning 1,000 yard rusher and two others who were classified as the highest rated RB in the country coming out of high school. So, no, Ohio State doesn't have some sort of RB advantage. -You and everyone else talking about Manning being advantaged over Sayin simply because he's taken more snaps are whistling past the notion that Manning might also just be a lot fucking better than your 5'11' statue with a nice hairdo. -None of this matters as much as the disadvantage your OL will actually have on the field against the Texas front 7. That imbalance doesn't shake out in the other direction. Good luck keeping your QB upright on Saturday.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I negged you not because you have a dumb fucking take, which you do, but because you're new here and seem to be under the impression that there aren't consequences for being voluminous and just spraying the board with stupid shit. Rep is sadly our only currency, but it can be used to ultimately crowdsource out early new poster stupidity. -
I know this is pathetic, but one of the most entertaining periods as a poster on the longhorn boards for me spanned from the hiring of Charlie Strong to the aftermath of the first Notre Dame game in year 2. I was miserable as a fan of the program, but being on the boards was somewhat therapeutic because there were posters everywhere showing their true colors as absolute imbeciles. Beyond some sort of idiotic personal need for Charlie Strong to actually be worth a fuck, and tied to that, was the constant rationalizing of Shawn Watson as a legitimate choice and employee in the role of Offensive Coordinator. It was cheap entertainment, but I'm not a snob. Lampooning people pitching for the guy "after watching film on YouTube" before the 2014 season all the way through "Watson has completely overhauled the offense!" heading into the 2015 season was the only happiness I could find as a fan at that time. Jeff Howe wrote a series of articles on 247 that 2015 summer with insider quotes and his own analysis about how the offense was being changed. I would show up on the thread for each article with one or two sentences mocking his takes and a mass of $9.95er lemmings would climb over themselves to attack me and defend Howe and Watson. Pulling all of that up after the 38-3 wonderment in South Bend was one of the most gleeful and villainous moments of my posting experience.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
Maybe we have different definitions of the word "overrated". Who is even rating the three guys you referenced? I'm talking about players that are beloved or liked by the masses for perceived performance. Anyone talking up those three for any reason besides one game against ND for Swoopes or a couple of early season ethereal tilts in like 2015 for Heard is out of their fucking mind and not worth having discussion. I don't even recall anyone ever speaking about Gilbert's time at Texas positively. You can't swing a dead cat around Texas fans without someone telling you what a great QB Sam Mehlinger was/is. To me, this is night and day. I am not saying I Am Sam sucked, far from it. -
Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I find it kind of sad that you both saved posts from 7 years ago and also feel some sort of need to recall them, but I'll humor you due to your effort. Ehlinger is the most overrated player to have ever taken a snap at Texas. He was a fine concussed battering ram for Tom Herman when there was a need for that, but you and others stan for him as though he's some sort of deity. He had an okay record in college for a guy with the accuracy of WW2 bomber scope and he's managed to hang on as a fringe guy in the NFL. We'll see him glomming on to the Texas media machine for a paycheck soon enough and idiots like you can jack off to his image regularly when that happens. So you have that going for you. Or maybe he'll go sell real estate with other former spare QBs like Chance Mock and Case McCoy, I don't know. When you clowns attempt to reference posts about Ehlinger being a mediocrity as some sort of "receipt", I laugh. Like not metaphorically, but literally. It's one of the things a few of you cling to that you think bothers me in some way, and I find it predictable but sadly entertaining, like watching reruns of Cheers. The guy was okay in college. That anyone finds his college performance as some sort of validation for their fandom speaks to the reality that there is always a dumbest person on a thread or a board. The world needs the simpleton, God love'em. -
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Some freshman class talk on Bucknuts, plus some hilarity where they attempt to claim that they're doing things above board, but Texas, Notre Dame, and Michigan are all behaving unfairly with NIL and recruiting. I actually think these people are stupid enough and naive enough to believe that they're actually clean when they've been cheating since the day Urban Meyer showed up on campus. Dumb motherfuckers, all of them.
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This was posted and discussed on the last page, probably while you were on forklift duty.
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"no idea" why he tagged you in it is bullshit and you know it. He tagged you in it because he is a fucking idiot.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I didn't want Texas pursuing Klubnik. I think I wrote something like "let him go be whiteboy awesome somewhere else" and I am glad it all worked out. The guy was worthless in 2023. He was fine last year but he's wildly overrated at this point. He plays in a dogshit conference with superior talent around him, so he'll look great and likely be a Heisman contender. None of that invalidates that I didn't want him anywhere near Texas and I am still thankful Sarkisian saw it the same way. In short, eat your fucking shit on this one. I didn't say the guy couldn't put it together at the college level. If me not wanting him at Texas hurts your widdle feels, I can live with that. Texas has Arch Fucking Manning starting on Saturday and part of that was because Sarkisian looked at the landscape and decided he'd rather go after him than some long-striding system guy at Westlake that you idiots and Dabo Swinney like to run around honking about. Don't summon me to this off the rails, bloviating thread loaded with you and other imbeciles again. -
Texas A&M Football 2025 - On the Edge of Glory(holes)
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
The shittiest odds we considered were ATM -180 for U 8.5 and Texas -180 for O 9.5. We actually got USC U 7.5 for +140. I didn't get that one, but I guess folks love ol'Lincoln. -
Someone paid to write about this stuff told me recently that Umeozulu might be too much of a loose cannon to merit risking Manning's health over and that Hutson is fine in pass pro at Guard. They like Robertson fine and maybe better than Hutson at Center. I assume the reference to "optimal five" involves those two considerations. I still expect Goosby-Neto-Hutson-Campbell-Baker but I am not willing to bet on it.
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The past 3 seasons, I've put up this post about picking the big outcomes for the season and the threads were fun for a few of us, so why not this season as well? Last year, I don't think anyone picked more than 6 out 12 playoff contenders correctly. The Big 12 screwed everyone, and not in a good way. Who had SMU making it in? Not many. Bama staying home? Okay then. Anyway, this year, there are 12 seeds again, with 5 conference winners. Seeding is changed to just that of the 4 highest seeds getting the byes and then the next 4 hosting the first round. SEC Title Game: Texas versus Bama. Texas wins. Georgia has come back to the pack in talent, Mike Bobo is a buffoon, and their culture is rotting. Stockton is not Stetson Bennett 2.0. Bama is well-coached with a ton of talent at key positions. Simpson doesn't have to be a hero, he can let his WR corps do that for him. I'm a Texas homer and I think Texas has the best roster in college football right now. Big 10 Title Game: Penn State versus Ohio State. Ohio State wins. Penn State and Big Games James Franklin are choking charlatans and this season will bear that out as usual. They have to win 1 of 2 games on their schedule in order to make the title game, home against Oregon after a bye and 3 non-con patsies that would make Bill Snyder blush. They'll spend all camp and the first 5 weeks of play focusing on beating and scheming for Oregon. They'll lay an egg at Ohio State on November 1 and still make the title game. They'll lay another egg against Ohio State in that game. Big 12 Title Game: Arizona State versus Baylor. Baylor wins. ASU returns everyone but Skattebo. Folks not picking ASU to compete in or win the Big 12 are vastly overrating the impact of losing one gritty RB from a roster. Baylor has elite, NFL talent at QB, WR, and RB. They return 4 OL starters and the other starter transfers in from starting at Ohio. They're going to be well-coached on defense. Frankly, that Baylor isn't a top 15 ranked team to start the year is surprising to me. I expect them to beat Auburn at home this Friday and then to beat SMU in a few weeks in Dallas. Both could be great games. They miss ISU, Tech, BYU and Kansas in the Big 12. ACC Title Game: Clemson versus Georgia Tech. Clemson wins. Clemson is being wildly overrated by the national media right now. "They have All Americans and NFL talent all over the field!" People suddenly love the front 4 that Texas beat like a borrowed mule 9 months ago because Tom Allen is apparently a wizard. Can't keep a job to save his life, but he's a wizard. They don't have an answer at RB and their OL is annually pedestrian. Klubnik is a Heisman finalist lock, also, apparently. Whatever. The ACC fucking blows as always. I refuse to pick SMU or bet on Cristobal. I like the guy running things at Ga Tech and King and the RB are tough guys behind a well-coached OL. Fuck it, I'm taking GT to get to the finals. Texas, OSU, Baylor, and Clemson are your automatic entries. Your other eight entries: Big 10 - Oregon, PSU - both of these are byproducts of playing no one in the non-con and the Big 10 fucking sucks below the yearly top 2-3 teams. SEC - Bama, Georgia - LSU is a paper tiger and they're about to get laughed at again after failing this Saturday for like the 6th straight opener. It's hard to take anyone else seriously in another top heavy overrated conference. Big 12 - Arizona State - "the Big 12 gets a second seed!?!?" Yes. I think ASU is pretty loaded and could easily see an 11-2 team getting preferred to mediocrities in the Big 10 and SEC. ACC - Miami - For whatever reason, the media feels compelled to not call the ACC the sack of shit that it is. Therefore, someone will get the benefit of the doubt, undeservedly, and then shit themselves in the playoffs. I assume Miami finds some way to do it again where they don't make the title game but have a great record. Notre Dame - It's not really ND's fault that USC or Stanford sucks or that Arkansas blows. ND has to win 3 of 4 against Navy, Miami, Boise State and ATM. That could put them at 11-1 and in. I can see it. Toledo - Holy Toledo! - Why does no one from the MAC ever contend to be the G6 team that gets in? Toledo returns a bunch of guys and Candle is a good coach. Their schedule is a cakewalk. Big matchups include pummeling a shitty Kentucky team to open and later heading to Pullman for Wazzou. If those are your tough match-ups, your schedule is stinky butthole. Give me Texas versus Clemson in the finals, Texas winning the whole fuckin' thing. Thoughts on some other teams that I don't see making it: ATM - I have a whole thread on these imbeciles where we discuss why they'll be lucky to be Texas 8&4 this season. OU - Same as ATM except I don't see how they get to 8 wins. Michigan - Underwood is a true freshman. He's bound to cost them some games. Nebraska - I like where they are at and their schedule. They are my darkhorse to make it in. Maybe I am overrating Rhule and Raiola. I think people are more down on Raiola than they should be. USC - LOL. Soft as Charmin. Ole Miss - Southern James Franklin can't get over the hump and a rebuild year won't be the time to debunk that notion. Tennessee - I actually expect them to struggle to get to 7 wins. South Carolina - Having one great player on each side of the ball will not be enough. They don't reload in SCar, they have to rebuild. BYU, Utah, ISU, KSU, Tech - These guys will beat each other up. ACC - the whole conference can get fucked for its weakness. UNC doesn't make a bowl. Liberty - the worst schedule in FBS, manipulated for the CFP, and that will lead to their dismissal. Boise State - Jeanty was a generational talent in a conference that rarely faces that. Back to earth BSU falls. Link to last year's thread: Thoughts and picks are welcome.
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Texas A&M Football 2025 - On the Edge of Glory(holes)
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
-180, unapologetically. We took a blend of favorites and underdogs, but that was a big one. I wanted to put some punch to my rooting against ATM this season and I got it. -
OU Football 2025 - League Average & Loving It
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
Cal is like the rich, intelligent big brother to Auburn. They are both wildly dysfunctional as institutions when it comes to sports and, specifically, football. Cal has Justin Wilcox as their HC. He consistently gets bowl-invite quality outcomes from his teams, especially on defense. Meanwhile, he's underpaid, he has little help for his staff, his facilities suck, their NIL sucked until lately, etc., etc. What does he get as a reward for keeping Cal competitive in spite of all of that? They bring in NFL numbnuts Ron Rivera to be his boss and meddle in shit. That dude is a fucking clown. Wilcox shuffled his staff around after last season and hired Harsin as his new OC. A bunch of offensive guys that went through the spring bailed afterwards, so something happened there with Harsin. Ott was one of the guys who left. Given everything around Cal's general football dysfunction, maybe the OU offer looked like a deal. -
Texas A&M Football 2025 - On the Edge of Glory(holes)
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
We're witnessing a moment in time in which our two biggest rivals are both signing and then failing, over and over again, with numerous 5 stars and high 4 stars. It's wonderful to witness, but it is also really interesting to me. Why so? Because they look like they're failing in very different ways. OU - These guys are landing 5 stars/high 4 stars that other big time programs are also recruiting. The Adebawore guy was wanted by everyone. Jackson Arnold had a bunch of big name programs after him. The Tatum guy had many schools after him as well (yes, he's a bust. busting in real time.) Is Peyton Bowen going to live up to his billing? Maybe, but he's got a ways to go. He was pursued by Oregon and ND until the end. The 5 star TE who just transferred after the spring was on the radar for many teams. David Stone was hotly pursued by many of the usual suspects. ATM - These guys have been landing highly ranked guys that a lot of other programs are avoiding. Myles had the choice of ATM or Utah in the end. USC pulled their NIL portion of their offer. The Georgia guys currently committed weren't pursued by Georgia and other neighboring powers, for the most part. Multiple guys from the 2022 were labeled as mercenaries at the time and had offers pulled from the likes of Bama and Georgia or they were never offered in the first place. Walter Nolan and Gabriel Brownlow-Dindy were both guys that were considered transfer certainties during their recruitments. Reuben Owens hit them up for money after taking money from Louisville and his gangster dad has tried to rework his deal several times since then. So with OU, my view is that they have a legitimate developmental problem going on right now, likely in the S&C area under Schmidt and on the field with the coaching staff. It shouldn't be surprising since most of the OU staff and the S&C team are pure ass. Bedenbaugh, Bates, and Venables have good reps, but counter that with Jones, Finley, Murray, Schmidt, the LB coach failure from Clemson, and Valai and it all starts to make sense. If you are a 5 star and you go to play for Venables, you're not doing so due to NFL aspirations. He's not getting guys better while there. With ATM, I think they have an evaluation problem. They're flat out ignoring character red flags because Jimbo and The Elk are starfuckers. The influencers around The Elk are starfuckers, both Liucci's crew and the big money. They're ignoring physical red flags. Someone said that Myles' wasn't going to pass the physical at USC, or that USC believed that, in recruiting circles. ATM didn't give one shit about that. They've ignored tweener status in multiple recruitments. I'm hoping neither regime figures any of this out.- 484 replies
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OU Football 2025 - League Average & Loving It
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
The total as of yesterday is 6.5. Some of the injured players will surely come back, but what you have to remember is that Venables runs full contact practices all year. He's going to get guys hurt based on that alone. They had like 5 serious injuries in the spring. How many did we have? I feel like maybe 1 or 2. Maybe that makes them tougher, I don't know. It didn't last year. I don't agree about Michigan, either. Yes, they'll be starting a true freshman at QB. Yes, that probably leads to a few losses on its own even if the dude is as good as advertised. However, they bring back most of their OL, which was good by season's end. They bring back a good HBack, they portaled in Justice Haynes from Bama as well. They have dogshit at WR but highly ranked guys at TE. Defensively, Will Johnson quit on them shortly after the Texas game last year. They lost their NFL DTs and a DE. They return almost everyone else who started on defense from midseason on, and they get back Rod Moore from injury. Moore was an AA candidate for 2024 after his 2023 season. I expect the Michigan game to be a rock fight. Maybe OU picks that one up, but it's no gimme. -
OU Football 2025 - League Average & Loving It
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
The problem for them is that, even if the QB is a big step up in talent, that's all they have on offense unless Ott is in 2023 form. The WR and TE rooms are absolute dogshit. Mateer had better WRs to work with last year. Seriously, look it up. With them benching Ott, and look, we all know Murray is capable of ruining a season for someone out of damned near mere spite alone, they have nothing at RB to really plan around when you face them. They've convinced themselves that their shitty OL from last year, the worst in P4, is somehow going to be better because ... they're all back. We were in that spot for 13 years. Depth is shit as well. I have tried to convince myself that they're better than folks might think and I can't get there. 8-4 is their absolute ceiling and that includes injury luck, which they already aren't having. -
Texas Recruiting Notes 2027: I remember watching his dad play
closetojumping replied to BornAndRaised's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Here's a list of recruits set to be at the Texas/Ohio State game on Saturday, per Kurelic at Bucknuts. I didn't bother reviewing or parsing between classes. Just thought some recruiting dorks might find something interesting in it, as I am sure Texas and OSU overlap on at least a few of these guys. QB Brady Edmunds (2027) (commitment) RB Favour Akih (commitment) RB Kemon Spell (2027) (Penn State commitment) RB David Gabriel Georges (2027) RB Elijah Kimble (2027) RB Wayne Shanks Jr. (2027) RB Noah Roberts (2027) RB Rayshawn Duncan (2027) WR Chris Henry Jr. (commitment) WR Jerquaden Guilford (commitment) WR Jamier Brown (2027) (commitment) WR Monshun Sales (2027) WR Javien Robinson (2027) WR Deanthony Crittenden (2027) WR Dakota Guerrant (2027) TE Corbyn Fordham (commitment) TE Brock Williams (2027) TE Jordan Karhoff (2027) TE Anthony Cartwright (2027) OL Maxwell Riley (commitment) OL Kellen Wymer (2027) OL Qua Ford (2027) OL Cameron Wagner (2027) OL Lual Aleu (2027) OL Jimmy Kalis (2027) OL Luke Injaychock (2027) OL Mason Wilt (2027) OL Kaeden Penny (2027) DE Reinaldo Perez (2027) DE Jameer Whyce (2028) DL Jamir Perez (commitment) DL Kellan Hall (2028) EDGE Anthony Sweeney (2027) EDGE Jayce Brewer (2027) DL Jamir Perez (commitment) DL Brayden Parks (2027) LB Cincere Johnson (commitment) LB CJ Sanna (commitment) DB Blaine Bradford (commitment) DB Simeon Caldwell (commitment) DB Jordan Thomas (commitment) DB Ace Alston (2027) DB Kaleb Elkins (2027) DB Emmanuel Moses (2027) DB Isala Aisa Wily-Ava (2027) DB Kenaz Sullivan (2027)
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