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Everything posted by closetojumping
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
No thanks. He’s got shit hands and a shittier attitude.- 8061 replies
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Generally speaking, never fucking root for a coach. Are you related to the person? No? Then get a fucking grip. Texas provides every resource imaginable for coaches to be successful on campus. Win or get the fuck out, you fucking loser. Maybe don’t get into a slapfight with your psycho fiancée or avoid just being generally mediocre at everything you do while embarrassing the entire program and fanbase by bawling about “horns down” on national tv. It’s infuriating. Losing to ATM by 20 in basketball should be considered an instant firing offense. Find your own way back to clean out your fucking office, as the bus is full, dummy. I’ll be cheering for the team the rest of the way, but if this dipshit wins something like 4 games in conference, I will accept the cold comfort that his performance will stick out like a sore thumb among the coaches on campus. They can then fire him without the media calling Texas a big bad meanie.
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Regarding the Branch brothers, I’m happy to see them elsewhere and assume that Zach Branch will continue to JAG out like a motherfucker with the idiotic offense at Georgia. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Agreed about Mitchell and Golden. -
On what subject should you be considered Surly's resident expert?
closetojumping replied to TexasHooch's topic in Daily Texan
Maybe humiliation. Just being here regularly evokes that sense of pain for me. -
I don’t have a strong opinion about this QB class other than it looks weak with a bunch of wildcards. Nonetheless, I do find the continued elevation of Jalen Milroe to be perplexing. He just looks like a coach killer. If you’re ever dependent upon that guy to win games against comparable or better talent, good luck.
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I took my family to dinner for one of my kid’s birthdays and was upset that I was going to miss the game. Sounds like I was better off with the way it turned out. This really sucks. Texas should be better than they are at basketball by a long sight.
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
I care in the sense that it would be nice for Purdue to resemble something other than roadkill when facing anyone in the Big 10. I know that’s not the norm, but watching them this year against Notre Dame and Indiana was truly disgusting. The bottom of the Big 10 is worse than a G5 conference slate and that shit needs to get fixed. The ACC is an unfixable mess, so it’s expected. The Big 12 and SEC field more competitive bottom dwellers than what the Big 10 put out there this year. -
Texas A&M Recruiting 2025: The Land of Melk & No Money
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
I’m interested in seeing how desperate programs get over the next few years if Dillingham strings a few more winning-to-big-time-winning seasons together. ASU has money, right? The guy would like to coach there for 40+ years if you believe his interviews. I tend to buy it because ASU to him is like Texas to us. So why leave? What if some other place in the Big 2 with money decides to go nuts out of desperation? Say Florida? I don’t know. I actually buy the idea of that guy sticking to ASU if he keeps winning and has choices. -
Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
The post of the guy telling the story of how he converted to ATM fandom and chose to go to school there accordingly - he left out the part where he excitedly applied to Texas and received his rejection letter 4 days later. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
I would be happy with this guy.- 8061 replies
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
You guys fixate on the dumbest shit. The walk-on QB is completely irrelevant. There’s actual portal stuff happening. -
Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
It’s always fun when they get so unhinged that they forget that Texas … you know … actually played Texas A&M. Never mind that, let’s do the transitive property thing. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
They committed more than they currently have in NIL for the 2025 class as some sort of notion putting on a happy face. Then the rumblings of cracks in the facade started with possible transfers ahead of the bowl game and Byrne starts publicly begging for money. They’re not in a good spot, clearly, so they’ve begun pushing a narrative to anyone who will listen in the media that CFB is broken and politicians need to intervene to save it, or the conferences need to align and anoint Nick Saban as a benign and even-handed, highly paid commissioner.- 8061 replies
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Legacy SEC Teams Had to Prove It on The Field
closetojumping replied to Huckleberry's topic in Football
I’ve been across a number of 247 sites for cursory glances at threads mentioning Texas or Ohio State. Summary as follows: Desperately Need OSU To Crush Texas: -ATM, Oklahoma, Arizona State, Texas Tech, Missouri, Arkansas Want OSU To Win: -Bama, Georgia, LSU, Oregon, USC, Tennessee, Clemson, ?FSU? Bizarrely Attached To Some Notion of Conference Brethren: -South Carolina, Ole Miss, Miss State Need Texas To Win: -Michigan It is truly absurd how many of these fanbases think Ohio State is some friendly try-hard while Texas is a big bad meanie that doesn’t deserve to still be playing.- 208 replies
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
I believe that RexAG86 posts on Surly as @Hagbard Celine. -
Las Vegas go hard or go home thread
closetojumping replied to bigup2dahorns's topic in Food and Travel
I have the same question. I can’t figure out what in the fuck happened on this trip for RPM. Is that him? Was that a guy on a livestream he was tracking? WTF. -
Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
On a thread where these rubes are pining for the return of Denver Harris, Daddy98 flies in off the top ropes with an all time heater: -
Things are not starting well this offseason in Okieville. They’re down big sad on their boards and it’s glorious watching the pumpers try to pump up FCS transfers and the new dipshit DC from Clemson. What they really aren’t handling well is the rise of Texas:
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How should I know?
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
If Texas is actually involved, Gerry, Burton and Nahlin will all hear about it even if Texas isn’t saying much, simply because the guy is a product of THSFB. So on this particular recruitment, we might get some good insight. My point about draft stock was more than he was not allegedly happy with where things stood for his NFL prospects after getting a grade or feedback of some sort. Does that make him feel like he needs to be in front of a larger audience? Did they say route running sucked? Was the feedback that he’s unlikely to test well given their current data projections? No clue. The fact that ATM has become a black hole for WRs with respect to the NFL draft isn’t helping. One guy, going in the 5th round, getting taken in the last 6 drafts is a problem. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
I like the names of the guys we’re linked to and I am glad to see that Texas isn’t linked to many of the turds on the list. FSU and ATM are like a receptacle for those types.- 8061 replies
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I actually think the Florida folks have been okay. Given that the universities are basically peers on the academic side and having very little history between the programs probably helps. Quite frankly, Florida should fucking love us. We help the academic rep of the conference and we handed them a rematch with FSU for the title in 1996. You’re welcome, gators. But yeah, I agree about the rest.
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
I’m not saying you’re incorrect here, but allegedly the guy wants to improve his draft stock more than leverage his transfer for a payday. The payday is a given, of course, but if they think Texas moves the needle for him, there could be something there. Texas has kept its powder dry this portal period. They’re going to get aggressive with someone at some point, surely? -
I’m not trying to name 20 and didn’t make the comment, but the notion that Texas didn’t play numerous guys more talented than that roided up dwarf is just silly. Michigan - Johnson, Grant and Graham are probable top 40 picks Georgia - Mykel Williams, Jalon Walker, and Malaki Starks are all top two round prospects. Kentucky - The DT is highly graded. ATM - Turner, Stewart and Scourton are all highly graded. Clemson - Woods, Parker, and Carter are all highly graded guys. That’s 13 guys without much thought. If you want just offense, there are plenty of middle round grade guys that will go ahead of Skattebo. Loveland, Briningstool, Etienne, and Beck come immediately to mind. The guy had grit and heart and played well once the Texas defense was worn down, but he’s not some uber-talented star the likes of which we’ve never seen. As it stands, Texas will face 5 guys with more talent and higher NFL projections against OSU on offense next Friday. Jackson, Judkins, Henderson, Smith and Egbuka. Hell, maybe Tate as well.
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