closetojumping

I find your behavior on this thread and the Left Behind thread to be some of the funniest shit on this board. On this thread, the sooners mostly read your shit, take a long drag off of their almost dead cigarette, breathe it all in and then basically look at you and say, “well, yeah, sure, but fuck it, we won a lot” and then go back to watching their black and white tv with a rerun of Green Acres airing. On the Left Behind thread, you post the same bits over and over but through the span of breaks lasting for weeks or longer. It’s just enough time for the shriekers to have calmed down so they then start pulling their hair out again while furiously typing out the same rebuttals.

I know I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating - Shadeur Sanders is not going to be a top 10 draft pick. It’s comical that some idiotic talking heads have thrown that out there and it’s stuck. He’s physically gifted but not extraordinarily so. His non-physical traits are a fucking nightmare and his off the field baggage makes him almost undraftable. Outside of Jerry Jones, I don’t know who would be dumb enough to invite the most absurd helicopter parent of all time into their tent.

A great scene in a great movie. Pine’s soliloquy at the end of the movie is the best description of what it felt like in terms of trying to get out of the poverty trap that I’ve ever seen.

Anything that comes out with green beans on it is being sent immediately back to the kitchen. Just hateful, terrifying shit.

I’ve gotten into a few fistfights in truck stop parking lots. None recently. Truckers aren’t very tough, provided you’re actually facing them. Dark times growing up.

They need to make Turd Ferguson wear an oversized hat when he pitches.

You never know when you’re going to be needed, from my view. Needed for a sprint, a sprint relay, for WR depth, maybe as a running back or offensive coordinator. It’s why I’ve always got a pair of cleats in the trunk of my car and in my suitcase.

I’m buying Ewers and Banks stock, as well as Cam Williams, and I am selling all of my Bond stock.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

Hey, look man, you left. This place hangs by a thread even with guys like you here. Any minute and this place can start chasing its tail over the dumbest shit ever. Miami has more than Ruiz in NIL. They’ve got their reasons to be doubted but they’ve gotten better on that front.

I don't think they're moving anyone to TB. That considered, there isn't currently a shortage of backs. There might be, arguably, with other injuries, a need for someone to get involved with short yardage situations. How do midgets like Bolden or Niblett help there? Niblett solves nothing at TB. Good lord.

I went to check out whatever comments you guys were discussing regarding Gerry and Fasusi and couldn't find shit. Fasusi was shown a really good time in Norman. Texas, for better or worse, doesn't run the same type of visit these days. If that's enough to push him to OU, okay then. The guy isn't viewed as having a "football first" mentality but is still gifted enough that he could wind up in the NFL if he just keeps his shit together in college. He's a hard recruit to just write off, but there's more risk on him for a player of his athletic level than there should be. Conversely, Rogers is less physcially gifted but, as of his senior year, more interested than Fasusi is at excelling in football. Other thoughts from bullshitting with friends: Schlossnagle didn't honestly anticipate the opportunity to get Williams. Internally he was rated as a guy going pro and getting drafted high enough to justify it. Miami has an allegedly ridiculous offer out there to Ffrench. As of now, seems like Ffrench would still prefer to leave the state and not go somewhere OOS with a lot of family around, like, say, Baton Rouge. There's still a lot going on with the DT stuff. Plenty of reasons to be optimistic if you need to be, including missing on Sanders, IMO. I'm from Missouri on the Fabulous Kenny Baker Boy at this point.

I’ve always found the fact that DKR played at OU but became a UT legend to be pretty fascinating.

This isn’t English.

Texas has elite returners, an elite coverage game, and a top notch kicker. They’ve been in the top 10 under Sarkisian by most groups that measure ST overall. Thinking too 3 and maybe number 1 isn’t some sort of stretch.

Well, don’t think too hard on it then.

Oh come on, don’t be a pussy. Those other guys can go fuck themselves. I need some sooners to mock or read up on.

Maybe Elko is secretly growing a turtle shell on his back under those muumuus. With Sanders, he’s begun building his army of mushroom henchmen and he’s getting ever closer to launching his plot to capture a local princess or something.

Righty-Ooo on one of them. I don’t give a fuck how fast someone is - if the QB can’t accurately believe you’re going to be where you’re supposed to be, good luck fitting into the rotation for long with that as a problem. Ha. I think you know fully what I meant. Correct.

Great points. I didn’t give my post a lot of thought because of how weak I think the Big 12 scheduling is. WVU versus not just PSU but also Pitt is legit.

Couple of bigger transfers need to get their shit together and act like they know the playbook and want to fucking win. Sydir Mitchell wouldn’t make a 7 deep at this point. Maybe mix in a salad and some grilled food for like, maybe, the next half decade. Collin Simmons will be a double digit a year sack guy starting next year and should be disruptive early and often this season. Daniel Cruz is apparently a mean motherfucker on the field. Texas has a shot to have the overall best special teams in the country if the punter is even just average. It’s a complete wild card that remains an open question until one or two of them are facing live fire. Let’s hope someone has some cajones in Ann Arbor. I’m guessing Texas has to punt a bit in that game.

USC is going to cost the aggies a pretty penny, if nothing else. I think this was a storyline in Lost, but it’s been awhile.

I wish @Pdawg88 was still keeping up with the countdown.

Sadly, Okie State probably has the most respectable non-con in the Big 12 this year.