closetojumping

Ummm, no.

Let's be careful about lauding Sarkisian towards rare air when it comes to all of this. He's not alone and he's not supplying the cash. The fact that Texas decided it was important to give a mediocre former walk-on who comes from money and was happy to play for free a big fat stack in this cycle should cause everyone to pause in a big way before going in this direction.

I stand by my position and knew in advance that others would offer some of these folks up as a rebuttal.

HT to @Huckleberry but thanks. Yes.

Can you also keep track of where they ultimately land, please?

Justin Wells knows less about the program than the most idiotic poster in this forum. I don't think Texas is going to have to start Barron at CB this year, but if they did, light the cigarettes now because we've already been fucked.

Do not let facts get in the way of a good cult refrain, apparently.

We were in the playoffs going up against a Clear Lake team with two old boys who threw in the 90's. One of them had control and we eventually got to him. Stud. They bring the other guy in and he throws harder, upper 90's. His control is notoriously garbage. I'm the first guy to face him and on his second or third pitch, he whips one up at my head. It nicked the tip of my nose as I tried to escape and his pitch seared the skin into a turf burn as it went by and I looked like Rudolph for a week. Hey, got to first and we won though. Anyway, the guy with control in the low to mid 90's never got drafted in HS or college. The idiot in the upper 90's went in the middle-late rounds of that summer's MLB draft. Played 2 years, couldn't stop walking people and has probably been selling insurance ever since. Scouts can talk about control (not singling this experience out since what he said may be how he really rolled), but they absolutely crave something elite like high 90's heat.

Every time you post on this board, we get collectively dumber thanks to your efforts. "Nuh uhhh!! I'm really smart!!! Ignore all of my posts and just trust me, guys!!!"

And yet people are going fucking nuts about Malik Nabors being a top 10 pick. The two LSU WRs in this draft class might be as overrated as anyone. They averaged weak separation, played in a down SEC, and they had a wildman at QB dropping dimes and running around until he could throw them open. Nabors being ranked on par with Odunze and Harrison Jr is as laughable as someone not wanting to take a fucking Superman at TE because other, unrelated guys in the past didn't pan out in the same draft area. And really, the "low historical hit rate in the top ten for the position" is such a weird premise in the first place. Hockenson and Pitts have had shit heaped onto them from different places but Hockenson is putting together an excellent career even if he isn't trending towards the HoF. Pitts got Johnsoned as bad as anyone on the Atlanta roster. His first season, before the idiot decided to fuck with him as some sort of decoy half the time, was terrific outside of the lack of TDs. Anything further back than 2018 is not a data point. Things change.

"reneg" is like when I go upthread to neg other idiotic, incoherent posts of yours. You meant "renege" and you know about as much in regard to football or recruiting as you do about grammar, dummy. That you think Maalik Murphy is why Texas won the KSU game, or was at all a positive contributor in that game, is laughable but predictable.

Spoilered below is one of the more moribund write-ups about team unit after a spring that you'll ever see an aggie $9.95er publish regarding their TB room. Wow.

It was an expression, not a callout for a fact check, Captain Asperger.

What the fuck does that nonsense mean?

BTW, given the ATM thread on the football board basically never discusses ATM football news and spends a lot of time wringing hands about bonfire and cracking yet another hilarious sheepfucking or jizz jar joke, I'm just going to use this thread to update throughout the offseason. Another hilarious update is that Blake Ivy, who just signed with them, may have left the team. The $9.95ers will not discuss it and apparently The Elk is trying to sway the guy to stick.

The thing to remember about how Gerry and Bobby look at this stuff is that they both lean on a lot of history and patterns therein. That plus putting in a ton of work and being really well-connected makes them right a whole fucking lot compared to everyone else. However, in this instance, I don't find a lot of value in what prior generations of a family opted to do. It's a different era for all of us, the Mannings included. I view the possibility of Manning transferring before this window closes as a higher percentage chance than the guy staying to play a second year if he lights up the first season. I don't view either outcome as a double digit percentage possibility, nonetheless.

I am not quite sure he has an actual strategy. They really are touting to themselves the notion of The Return To Junction in terms of his perceived approach. Out with the coddled talent and in with the blue collared badasses that just want to get into a good scrap. Right. That entire outlook presupposes that one can out-tough the more talented opponents and just whip them into submission. How many teams on the 2024 ATM schedule are looking soft to you guys? We can say what we want about Freeman at ND, and I do, but they play tough. Texas under Sarkisian? Please. LSU? right. Auburn? Florida in The Swamp? Missouri? These are all teams with arguably more talent (yes, look at the UF and ATM rosters and then shut the fuck up to yourself) so how many won't be tough enough? To your point about the knock-on effects of sucking this season and needing to rebuild after that while things spiral, I was talking to an aggie booster yesterday. I know a few really big ones, but this guy isn't that. He is involved and enthusiastic though. We were talking about the past weekend and the two spring game events. He didn't take his family up and said he's having a tough time getting excited about the new regime. Felt fatigued from the Fisher experience. Given the less than 2000 people who attended their spring game, I'd say that's the whole base's outlook. Not good if you're going to really need them to give enthusiastically in future cycles.

Also, an update on the greatest recruiting class of all time with the losses of Taylor and the kicker guy: 14 of the 30 signees have now transferred after just two seasons on campus of what could be a total of five eventually. 14/30 = 47% of the class smoke bombed (Smoke Bouie'd) the fuck out of College Station. Leveon Moss and Brownlow-Dindy are both still rumored to be a part of the faithful departed, so we'll see. 6 of their top 15 players from that class are still on the roster: Weigman, Brownlow-Dindy, Shamar Stewart, Enai White, Scylla, and Bryce Anderson. Of those players, Weigman isn't healthy, White hasn't played due to injury in years, Brownlow-Dindy missed the spring due to "injury" and the other 3 are either starters or serious contributors. Beyond all of that, I am sure with a little thought, I could come up with someone at Texas that busted as hard as Bobby Taylor, but I don't have time for that. This idiot ran his fucking mouth the entire 2022 recruitment cycle, talked monstrous shit about Texas in the process, and touted himself as a future super star. After doing such, he never touched the field, tested the transfer portal twice and gathered no interest, and now will never be playing football again, with his last meaningful snap coming in his senior year in HS. Another fitting end.

This cycle keeps getting better and better regarding the aggie roster and The Elk's apparent alchemy with its construction. ATM has now added a third TE transfer to their roster. I have spoilered Karels' article below but it is more terrific shit. Melko has people monitoring the sites and multiple reporters have been reprimanded so these articles get more and more careful, which makes things more and more obvious. It's greatness. The new TE was a starter at East Carolina. He put up extremely pedestrian numbers over a 4 year career and ATM beat out Cal, Tulane, UH, and Oregon State for his services. Meanwhile, the other two TEs they brought in from the transfer portal both sat out the spring game. Some of the alleged insiders are vaguely stating that The Elk and Crew will not tolerate loafers and that the roster will continue to churn. They'd better fucking hope so, as they now have 8! TEs on the roster. They're gonna have to RIF some more people, man. I believe ATM currently has 8 scholarship WRs and 8 TEs on their roster. That is Collin Klein roster-building 101. Here are a few gems from the comments: Big Ham Jones "Elko & company are adding GROWN MEN. We want to win now!! Dude has logged 1800 snaps in college!" thedewdbro "Can he play tackle?"

Sad for who? I find it hilarious. I don’t know the guy or his family. Why do I need to feel sad? Plenty of people every day walk away from what their parents want and move to their own beat. He chose not to and now he has neither the adoration of a fanbase that his parents crave nor the accolades to merit much interest from anyone athletically. I’d like to see many aggie athletes finish up that way.

He has his own thread here, so I figure he gets discussed plenty. Good addition. I thought about putting him in the “bad” section and I’d forgotten his negligence with the student cameraman.

Come to think of it, someone clever should make an OU 2025 thread also.

Red was never not a problem. He was good enough to play, but there was always something with him. It’s a net positive that he’s gone, so that would make him a negative contributor in my book.

If you can get the chicken-fried veal that is then covered in a brown mushroom gravy, do it. I don't even know if it is on the menu anymore but it used to be ridiculous. Also, they have a jalapeño cream soup sometimes and that thing is really good and not something you see on many menus.

CFB had some weird and significant turnover this cycle and some key guys that I really enjoy rooting against have moved on to other things. Harbaugh is off to the NFL. Jimbo Fisher is bootlegging moonshine in the Appalachians somewhere. Nick Saban retired in order to commit himself full time to finding the true killers of open competition in the sport. Shit like that. In any event, I enjoy the pettiness of being a fan for a sport I love and it's the offseason, so I figured I'd throw some thoughts around as to who I think the good, bad and ugly guys that are coaching CFB these days. I am excluding Twelve Win Theven because ... no shit he's one of the nice guys. Absurdly, he'd have been on the "Ugly" list a decade ago. The Good - Coaches I begrudgingly respect who seem to have their shit together and run a strong program. Kalen Deboer - sure, he's now at Bama and there are going to be some adjustments, but he's won everywhere he's been and seems like a nice enough guy compared to the landscape. I've made fun of his transition to Bama and no one knows if this dude can recruit worth a shit, but I am betting he'll win at Bama, albeit in more normal ways. Lane Kiffin - He gets weird reactions from people, but by all accounts, he's an entertaining guy. Kind of an asshole, but he's a coach. The dude wins, he is willing to troll anyone, he seems to have learned from his mistakes, and there's never a dull moment with him. I think he'll be fun to go up against in the SEC. Chris Klieman - Great fit at KSU. One of the only non-whiny bitches left in the legacy Big 12. He wins. Hard not to respect their approach. Mike Norvell - I know there was a lot of whining from Norvell and all of FSU. I can also understand it. Get past that and this guy is known as a nice guy and a great developer. FSU getting their share in the SE is good for Texas as it weakens the other threats in that direction. Kirby Smart - Obvious respect for the titles with the best team money could buy at the time. He's a cheating hypocrite, but the guy has won two titles and has Georgia near the top every year. Mike Gundy - Yeah, he's a whiner, but he's usually entertaining and he's been winning due to coaching for longer than anyone else out there. He had no business having the 2023 team in the Big 12 title game. The Bad - Outright villains, imbeciles, or just other guys I don't like for some reason. Mario Cristobal - This guy is both a sorry, cheating fucking hypocrite and a terrible coach. Him pulling a Kevin Steele last season in the Georgia Tech game was a personal highlight of mine. I hope for nothing but failure for both this guy and Miami overall. Lincoln Riley - I think Riley is an offensive genius. I also think he runs a soft program and wears out his welcome. He'll be flirting with the NFL again this year. Ryan Day - Never mind the mounting evidence of his rampant pederasty, this gasbag can't beat his program's long time rival and he almost cried on national tv because Lou Holtz made him feel funny. James Franklin - The biggest charlatan in all of CFB. He's helped cover up rape controversies, he can't win games without simply outtalenting the opponent, and fuck Penn State. Marcus Freeman - I've seen him make too many boneheaded moves to view him as anything other than a chaser who will never get it done in South Bend. The fuck-ups last season against OSU were pathetic. Dave Aranda - This guy is pile-driving the Baylor program into the ground. It's glorious. Matt Campbell - He's one of these guys that can put a winning team together when he shouldn't be able to, but then shits himself every time he has to deal with expectations. Couple that with his penchant for whining at press conferences, trying to fight his team's fans, and being a smug douchebag when he's been able to get anything done and he's easy to despise. Dabo Swinney - It's not that he's a hypocrite, it's that he's also a pure dumbass. He won two titles in a different era and keeps expecting everything to shift back to the way it was so he can win some more. I'm enjoying watching him and his program wander off back into the wilderness. The Ugly - Coaches who might actually just be ugly, or who run ugly programs, or have something else weird going on. Sam Pittman - Bigger bitch tits than Meatloaf. Hired Bobby Petrino out of desperation. Matt Rhule - Rumors of chronic halitosis and drunkenly calling players and opposing coaches in the middle of the night to harangue them might be his undoing. His mouthbreathing with that stupid look on his face every time the camera pans to him is moderately disturbing. Biff Poggi - This man is tired of your shit and also sleeves. He's a disgusting fatbody who probably reeks of mung beans on the sidelines. Bret Bielema - In 2023, he escalated his race with the rest of CFB to be the fattest HC on the sidelines since Mark Mangino by taking his overall weight to what has to be beyond 5 bills. Brent Venables - He looks like Willem Dafoe as the Green Goblin without trying. His QB play is even uglier. Mack Brown - I expect Kuato to distend from Brown's torso on the sidelines this fall after North Carolina loses yet another heartbreaker to some shitty ACC also-ran. Hugh Freeze - The worst part about this hypocrite isn't his use of religious piety to weasel his way into a recruit's mother's heart, it's that he wins. I hope he catches syphilis from the random hookers/coeds he's undoubtedly banging at Auburn. Mike Elko - The Elk weighs a metric ton and has the alcoholic's nose to which Matt Rhule could only aspire. If you told me that he ate a baby and plays a mean bagpipe, I'd be inclined to believe you. Anyone else have a thought or a list?