This hits close to home. I started drinking late and really did it as part of work life then it moved into my social life. Over the years, I started drinking in more social situations. About 3 years ago, I switched to heavy drinking which meant let’s do vodka, because I can handle more and won’t be as hungover.
My drinking then started earlier in the week then earlier in the day but not really impacting work, I thought. A coworker would make an off comment as a joke but nothing impacted my career progression as most coworkers were also heavy drinkers. Slowly, my drinking led to unintended 3 or 4 day weekends which I played off as being sick. Clearly, I drank those recovery days though.
I thought I had a handle on it and was not a problem, because I would take two week breaks or do other moderation. Right after my break though I would go back to my black out drinking. I got to a point that I couldn’t moderate or take breaks. Had a bad few weeks and drank for 10 days straight not remembering almost any of it.
Thankfully besides my ego and money for booze nothing was destroyed. I decided after that to admit that I am an alcoholic and wanted to go to AA. I definitely damaged many relationships in this process but hoping this journey is my way back.