Royale with cheese

Am I the only one who thinks those who write for a living comment on Longhorn bulletin board posts should demonstrate an understanding of the difference between "Aggies" and " aggys?"

From the old Groucho Marx's You Bet Your Life TV show (circa 1958): Groucho: Well, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, are there any little Smiths running around out there? Smith: We have 13 children, Groucho. Groucho: Thirteen children? Smith: I love my wife very much. Groucho: I love my cigar too, but I take it out every once in a while. (Pretty racy for 1958 network TV.)

"Woody Hayes? Michigan?" "Forget it, he's rolling." But back to Woody--oh yeah, he was an asshole all right, but in 1968 he gave us one of the baddest football quotes ever. tOSU was crushing Michigan late in the fourth quarter. With the first string still in, tOSU scored a meaningless touchdown and Woody then kept the offense on the field and instead of kicking the extra point, went for two. After the game, reporters asked why he went for two when he was already up by a score of 50-14. He snapped, "Because I couldn't go for three!" Now, that's the kind of hatred we need on display in Dallas this October. However, Woody's quote might not be quite as badass as Bill Bradley's coin-toss quote against aggy. We won the toss and the ref asked Bradley if he wanted to kick or receive. Y'all know what comes next, what Bradley said, but I gotta' say it one more time: "It don't make a shit." Perfection. BTW, there's a new book about Bradley coming out next month, "Blue-Eyed Soul Brother--The Versatile Football Life of Super Bill Bradley." The blurb describing the book contains this depressing line: "Today, Bradley is engaged in another struggle, this one with memory loss and other cognitive impairments caused by the many concussions he suffered during his nine-year playing career in the NFL." Hadn't heard about that until now. Damn.

Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel.

This is not negotiation, it's straight-out extortion and I suspect that's illegal, even in Nevada. But let's talk about the real victims here--the folks who took UNLV on Monday and laid the 3 points . . .

Don't rightly know, but it's apparently something Fantastic Johnny C. did down Broadway, but that was before Ringo told him to back off. I has the confuse.

What it is ain't exactly clear.

The statewide vote to legalize recreational weed failed in every county. The med-mari business is in severe decline. When it comes to weed, Tokelahoma ain't what it's cracked up to be. Most chalk the decline up to the competition: The meth market is a tough nut to crack.

"The Key To Third-And-Long Success" by Todd Orlando, published by Ann Dawn

You said ass twice . . .

Not fuckin' long enough.

Double-secret.

I graduated with honors from the Ed McMahon School of Straight Lines, so, "Collie Station, huh? Anybody know what happened to all the 50-cent pieces?"

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

"Tastes great!" "Less filling!"

News flash: It's ALWAYS all about the money. Texas and blOw-U went to the SEC for the same reason Willie Sutton robbed banks.

As long as we're talking schools of that ilk, might as well throw in UofH.

That's not possible.

"Well, most of it went for coke and hookers; the rest, I just flat wasted."

They have to score for the fight song issue to be an issue . . .

I don't think I'll let you arrest us today, Behan.

Please allow me to introduce myself . . .

DuMont.