Paco

Fixed it for me

Ballgame!! You fucking weirdo

I definitely prefer scalloped potatoes to serrated potatoes.

*Sergeant

What kind of fucked up church did you go to?

Sounds fancy! Sent from my Pixel 4 XL using Tapatalk

Germophobes.

I'm over here minding my own damn bidness and you just call me out like that?

Yeah the fries aren't very filling because they get thrown in the trash.

When you see the sign that says "Last Missouri Exit" they're not kidding.

I don't want to know what a full set of tires cost you. And by that I mean I really want to know what a full set of tires cost you.

Don't forget the Connecticunts.

It's my little hill and I'm happy to die on it. Love, Paco

I refuse to eat there because "craft meat".

Basic white bitch talk not going away

I went to court fully prepared to ask for a jury trial, an appeal, Supreme Court, whatever, for a Failure to Maintain Safe Distance ticket. Driving to work on 35, I had plenty of room between me and the car in front. Traffic moving 15-20 mph. I guess I left too much because of course some bitch cuts in front of me and immediately has to slam on the brakes. She hits the car in front of her, I hit her. We all pull over and dickhead gives me a ticket. "I had plenty of distance, she moved into my distance" didn't work. Go to municipal court, prosecutor offers deferred adjudication for some reason. Hell no! I've come prepared with thirty-seven 8x10 color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one. She said I could take a minute to call my lawyer. "Hey lawyer, here's what happened, I'm ready to fight this with every fiber of my being. They offered deferred whatever because they know they'll lose. I'm a goddamn free born American and I'll buy you a cheeseburger at Crown and Anchor if you just tell me whether I should do jury trial or Judge" "Take the deal" "Eat shit lawyer! When did quit caring about justice?" "Paco, you're a plumber and an idiot. Take the deal." So I took the deal. TLDR I'm 0-0

What if it was a treadmill instead of a diving board?

Cheaper though

Red wings. Goddamnit.

I don't think fitlump has a yard.

It's a delectable half cooked brownie cake thing you uncultured swine!

Hell, I'm already done

Can you at least narrow it down to an epoch?

Fucking meals and laundry. Holy holy shit. This is how we did laundry at Marine boot camp. Guess it's too inhumane for our unsheltered brethren.