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gernblansten

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Everything posted by gernblansten

  1. IMMA: What the hell is happening in here? gern: Well, cruiser wants to send a .50 caliber to Ukraine, but painting it burnt orange might not be practical, and maybe just sending cash directly to a sniper is more efficient, but then we lose the vanity part of the project, we might send some patches instead to really get them excited to kill some commies, but we need a cartoon dick drawer to get on board, and instead maybe some surly leftover cups or stickers are better, possibly some ammo, so basically nobody knows what to get Andriy and Mykhailo to help win the war- there's a whole lotta shit we're trying to deal with -- IMMA: Oh, I thought there was a problem. Okay, well, uh… candlesticks always make a nice war weapon, and uh, maybe you could find out where their stronghold is and maybe we can get a RV and road-trip to deliver a sex tent or maybe a fake McRib. Okay, let’s get both! Go get ‘em!
  2. $53 tab. $100 bill placed on ticket. Waitress: “Do you want any change back on this?”
  3. Fake Elector: "Hey, son, I've got a bit of a problem." Son: "Another scam call about your computer having a problem and you gave that stranger remote access to your computer again? Give your SSN to the "bank" when they called to verify your account? Sent more funds to the Nigerian prince?" Fake Elector: "No, just signed some papers trying to overthrow the government. Maybe stop by on your lunch hour and you can fix it."
  4. One of the main factors in the 100 year decision was we had a gentlemen's agreement that SEC Media Day would be in Trinity after we played 12 seasons in the SEC! It's a slap in the face to the 12th man to now kneel down to the sips and shift to Dallas! /aggy
  5. Obviously, Sapporo taking down America's oldest craft brewery was the long play payback for Hiroshima.
  6. I anticipate you'll have SomeRagrets.
  7. Mobile order this morning and showed up at appointed time, walked in and still waited 13 minutes. Ate my delicious sausage, egg, American on JCB on the drive home. It was glorious. Opened the JCB with sausage, egg, Monterey with grilled jalapeños and the sausage was absent. <They fuck you in the drive thru gif>
  8. I'm generally on board with the majority of your takes, but that take is something you'd normally see out of aggy.
  9. aggy: "Leon was shaken up and had to exit the field, leading to his team being short handed. Being the true ag that he is, he went into the stands to find the 12th man for his team!" Sane person: "It's arena ball. Do you mean 9th man?" aggy: "where's the emergency looch phone?"
  10. If I were writing an article, it would be a think piece about a mid level show idea that hit big at the right time and was magic then struggling with its own limitations in the harsh face of stardom.
  11. Served on a loaf of garlic bread.
  12. Today, Ponyboy can stay golden and be admitted to Harvard.
  13. "Journal? Is you taking notes on fucking extra marital affairs?"
  14. And, isn’t the trumped up bullshit James “firing for cause” excuse the reason they still owe him part of his contract?
  15. They should bring it back and add one of those punch velocity meters on there. A little voice interaction "that punch was huge". Max profit, I'd head down after church tomorrow at a sinful pace for a little face blast 45 with my fist, a michelada at the mercado and a puffy taco or two. If you’re famous they just let you grab the puffy taco.
  16. I'm not that well versed in many things. Does that mean 18% think Trump is shitting his pants or 18% of those polled wear the same undergarments as Trump? Do 61% think he won't change his depends if he shits his pants over the indictment?
  17. It'd be much more entertaining if it were this Bill...
  18. You can fry an egg out there on the city sidewalk You can fry your bacon and and and and I understand why lizards live in sunny Arizona Why people do and call it home I'll never understand
  19. I hope not. It's okay for things to end. A story was told and Ted can continue touching lives and we don't need to see it.
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