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gernblansten

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Everything posted by gernblansten

  1. You should definitely bang that guy's sister and make her take a Plan B!
  2. His father, Jim Franklin, commented: "His given name was Danny Franklin, but his mother and I spent so much time saying 'fuck ya doing?' we legally changed his name."
  3. That's the most hits delivered by the Cubs in a couple weeks.
  4. "Look Ponch, right there's the guy who stole your haircut."
  5. They didn't publish Orgeron's full response. "Don't be mad because everybody's girlfriend sleeps with other people. I mean, listen, not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever. I think that people need a second chance, and I’ve always looked up to Derrick Todd Lee, and I always will.”
  6. They've come a long way from Jimbo promising top 2 recruiting finishes.
  7. Ya gottdamn right cause I ain't never seent no lion make no dadgum fist.
  8. His defense attorney needs to argue immunity under the Doctrine of Standard Grade School Rules.
  9. Have we considered she was just waiting for an opportunity to shoot her child? Maybe the last Twinkie disappeared and she was trying to get a confession.
  10. The dumbass father's mother? Or, the shot kid's mother? "uh, hey woman, the boy is out in the car says he's sick or something! I gotta run down the street and I'll be back later!"
  11. "I was the best man at a wedding one time, that was pretty good. Pretty good title, I thought, best man. I thought it was a bit much. I thought we'd have the groom and a pretty good man. That's more than enough. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?"
  12. Give the players a cut of something and let them earn what they can earn. Whatever. But the argument "coaches can move freely to other schools for millions" is tiring. There are exceptions, but for the most part that coach spent four years in college (not getting paid to play either, which seems really important), made peanut shells as a grad assistant, toiled for years later making peanuts, moving multiple times for a couple more peanuts, a lot of times doing so with a wife and young children, and working insane hours to make it. IMHO, the coach has earned the right over many years. If your impulse is to say "the player spent years sweating and practicing to play in college, I'd say the coach's road is a bit more substantive than being driven around by parents to pee wee football and being a man above boys in high school while someone is still generally feeding, clothing, and housing you. If you want that coach's ability to program jump and make millions, put in your time and go be that coach and stop bitching about needing the ability to transfer because you're second team after spring practice.
  13. Wherever they end up Dan will be sitting there thinking "50 gotdamn years and I still can't get my way. I just wanted a fucking blooming onion, it didn't seem like that big of an ask."
  14. It's mini camp. He's a 9th string TE in mini camp. I'd guess a lot of veterans aren't there and don't care in the least about Tebow or any number of other undrafted free agents who won't make the team. And the young guys would probably rather compete against a 33 year old that hasn't played in a decade than another 23 year old. And the poor young guy that didn't get signed because Tebow got signed? Sorry, guy, but after workouts you were a worst option than a 33 year old that's never played the position so you should probably go pro in something else.
  15. Kennythecheetah would've been much more sympathetic.
  16. How old was your friend when he realized his mom caught more Rangers' balls in the bedroom than he caught shagging in the outfield?
  17. "Dem Chinese dun attacked us 'cause of back when Patton called on us Aggies to whip China after dey bombed pearl harbor and we saved America in WWII. They didn't learn dey lesson when dey tried us again years later when we entered their homeland of Vietnam and won another war for America so now they're dropping bombs on Reveille's grave because it's sacred American land! " - aggy
  18. I'll be banging Kate Beckinsale Next Year
  19. Maybe one of them had their television stolen and they were just trying to find it.
  20. Watson never touched anyone. It was his rogue penis that kept going around touching hands.
  21. Do you like Huey Lewis and The News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor. In '87, Huey released Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.
  22. Yeah, I could easily be wrong, but if he's around 200 pounds I think it could be 5-6 beers over the course of a couple hours. To be clear, I'm not defending him in the least. He made decisions and he'll have to live with them. He's obviously driving too fast, but without the disabled vehicle on the roadway he probably gets home just fine. A lot of folks are perfectly fine driving at .113 and the biggest concern is another driver causing in accident and all of a sudden you're in a DUI situation because someone else's actions. I'll say again for the slower ones in our group, I'll say again, I'm not defending him and realize a young girl's life and her family's lives are forever changed.
  23. My penis has touched my hand countless times and I soldier on in to the office every day.
  24. How long ago from application submission until being conditionally approved?
  25. Sounds like a pretty good defense. "I cannot control this damn penis. It just goes around touching women's hands and ejaculating all over the place. I'm as much a victim as these poor women. I'm sort of like Seymour Krelborn and my penis is Audrey II. It's just out of control and I can't do anything about it."
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