Jump to content

gernblansten

Full Members
  • Posts

    1185
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by gernblansten

  1. "I was the best man at a wedding one time, that was pretty good. Pretty good title, I thought, best man. I thought it was a bit much. I thought we'd have the groom and a pretty good man. That's more than enough. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?"
  2. Give the players a cut of something and let them earn what they can earn. Whatever. But the argument "coaches can move freely to other schools for millions" is tiring. There are exceptions, but for the most part that coach spent four years in college (not getting paid to play either, which seems really important), made peanut shells as a grad assistant, toiled for years later making peanuts, moving multiple times for a couple more peanuts, a lot of times doing so with a wife and young children, and working insane hours to make it. IMHO, the coach has earned the right over many years. If your impulse is to say "the player spent years sweating and practicing to play in college, I'd say the coach's road is a bit more substantive than being driven around by parents to pee wee football and being a man above boys in high school while someone is still generally feeding, clothing, and housing you. If you want that coach's ability to program jump and make millions, put in your time and go be that coach and stop bitching about needing the ability to transfer because you're second team after spring practice.
  3. Wherever they end up Dan will be sitting there thinking "50 gotdamn years and I still can't get my way. I just wanted a fucking blooming onion, it didn't seem like that big of an ask."
  4. It's mini camp. He's a 9th string TE in mini camp. I'd guess a lot of veterans aren't there and don't care in the least about Tebow or any number of other undrafted free agents who won't make the team. And the young guys would probably rather compete against a 33 year old that hasn't played in a decade than another 23 year old. And the poor young guy that didn't get signed because Tebow got signed? Sorry, guy, but after workouts you were a worst option than a 33 year old that's never played the position so you should probably go pro in something else.
  5. Kennythecheetah would've been much more sympathetic.
  6. How old was your friend when he realized his mom caught more Rangers' balls in the bedroom than he caught shagging in the outfield?
  7. "Dem Chinese dun attacked us 'cause of back when Patton called on us Aggies to whip China after dey bombed pearl harbor and we saved America in WWII. They didn't learn dey lesson when dey tried us again years later when we entered their homeland of Vietnam and won another war for America so now they're dropping bombs on Reveille's grave because it's sacred American land! " - aggy
  8. I'll be banging Kate Beckinsale Next Year
  9. Maybe one of them had their television stolen and they were just trying to find it.
  10. Watson never touched anyone. It was his rogue penis that kept going around touching hands.
  11. Do you like Huey Lewis and The News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor. In '87, Huey released Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.
  12. Yeah, I could easily be wrong, but if he's around 200 pounds I think it could be 5-6 beers over the course of a couple hours. To be clear, I'm not defending him in the least. He made decisions and he'll have to live with them. He's obviously driving too fast, but without the disabled vehicle on the roadway he probably gets home just fine. A lot of folks are perfectly fine driving at .113 and the biggest concern is another driver causing in accident and all of a sudden you're in a DUI situation because someone else's actions. I'll say again for the slower ones in our group, I'll say again, I'm not defending him and realize a young girl's life and her family's lives are forever changed.
  13. My penis has touched my hand countless times and I soldier on in to the office every day.
  14. How long ago from application submission until being conditionally approved?
  15. Sounds like a pretty good defense. "I cannot control this damn penis. It just goes around touching women's hands and ejaculating all over the place. I'm as much a victim as these poor women. I'm sort of like Seymour Krelborn and my penis is Audrey II. It's just out of control and I can't do anything about it."
  16. I hope the Petition started with "Dear Courthouse, I never thought it would happen to me...."
  17. That guy could one-up some motherfuckers in the "Stupid Things Wives Do" thread.
  18. I guess she took me up on the suggestion to get some pointers from your mom.
  19. Better than an argument that once occurred at my house. Her: You do not like blow jobs, I've never seen you get one! Me: That's because you won't give me one and since we're married you're my only option. The closest I've ever gotten to not liking blow jobs was decades ago when I got a really toothy one that bruised my junk from my high school girlfriend and it was still glorious. Last year you were having drinks with your friend and you called and asked if I wanted anything on your way home. I said "yes, a blow job when you get home" and you said "okay". I got pissed at you because you came home and didn't give me a blow job! Me: I assure you, I like getting head, it feels good. Her: No, it doesn't. Me: What?!?!?!? Think about what you're doing -- you're arguing with *ME*, a guy with a dick, about whether *I* like it to get sucked by a woman! Have you lost your fucking mind? Why would you be arguing about this? Every guy in the world likes getting head and you'll find that out someday when we get divorced. Narrator: They got divorced a year later.
  20. Radio still works. Funny as that may seem with all this mess, the radio is the only thing that's really working good. And it's clear as a bell, don't ask me how.
  21. Why is Alec Baldwin dressed up like Trump and teaching Eli Manning to fish?
  22. It all appears to be pretty similar to me. In a campaign, getting elected is all that matters. In governing, getting re-elected is all that matters.
  23. I've never heard of any woman flushing tampons down the toilet. Is your wife 12 years old or something?
  24. Pretty, pretty good opening sentence for a novel. "WTF is ABC-Fox", he asked with incredulity.
×
×
  • Create New...