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HornOnTheBayou

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Everything posted by HornOnTheBayou

  1. Authorities also found footage of Bohannon, wearing his Alabama uniform, being handed a large bag with a dollar sign on it from the bookie.
  2. I spent four days there last June with my teenage son and never once felt unsafe. It's completely overblown.
  3. I could say that, but my kids know it's not true. I would move heaven and earth to get them to safety. I would pay any amount of money and would go to the ends of the earth to find them. I would do anything to help them. Well, besides listening to a voicemail from an unknown number. That's a bridge too far.
  4. Exactly. I need to tell my kids that if they ever get taken, make sure the kidnapper sends me a text because I'm not answering a call or listening to a voicemail.
  5. I want someone to run for president as part of the Fuck Karl Malone Party. They would win every state (including Utah, because deep down, they know we're all right) and bring unity and healing to this country.
  6. Watches Newsmax and "does his own research"?
  7. It's a good thing I don't have a favorite hockey team. Overtime hockey is tense enough as a neutral observer. If I had real skin in the game, I would be in the hospital with a heart attack.
  8. If my dong ever ends up becoming newsworthy, I'm going to nicely ask media outlets to add a few more blurry pixels to the picture.
  9. Someone already came up with the idea for MILF porn. You're a little too late on that one.
  10. Yep. I had to grab an Uber after school last week and the driver was the dad of some of my former students. He and his wife moved here from Nigeria, settled in Austin, and had three kids. One is currently in grad school at Princeton, one is getting her MBA at UT, and the oldest "has a great job at Dell. He tries to explain it to me, but I don't understand it at all" (dad's words). I tell that story to (1) brag on some former students and (2) say, "Fuck Tucker Carlson and anyone inspired by him".
  11. Nevermind, I don't read so good.
  12. You forgot the Chiefs and Giants.
  13. That could have been a job for Spinal Tap's Stonehenge set designers.
  14. Probably getting waterboarded with Molson.
  15. Nice work, @Mullet Free. And like others have said, you handled this amazingly well. Father of the Year!
  16. You mean the era when a large percentage of Americans could not vote or have any type of say in their government because of the color of their skin? And if they did speak out, there was a good chance they would be lynched? Also, you should probably check and see what happened after the 1920s. Spoiler alert: it wasn't good. Go read a history book or fuck off.
  17. While wrapped around Alonzo Mourning's leg.
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