This is a great thread. I'll follow with a stream of consciousness about my experiences and the experiences of my kids.
The multi-tiered approach recommended by @Bateshorn is correct. All of my older kids did that and it worked out very well. Older son did CS at UT and did not get accepted to Northwestern or Carnegie Mellon. Not sure I would have paid for the others, esp. w/ a UT CS acceptance.
Youngest son is a junior and will start the college admissions process next year. He goes to Regents and the fields are for football @Lobo and should should not be mistaken for lacrosse fields even though they are used for lacrosse . Older kids went to a top public school in Austin, but Regents was a better fit for him. Small class sizes, more individual instruction, far more open roundtable debates, etc. Is it perfect? No, but it is a good fit for him. I had zero expectations that it would look better on a college app than LASA, Westlake, Westwood, etc.
If you want to be an engineer or computer scientist, get through school ASAP and start earning money. Many larger companies put a premium on an advanced degree (for some reason), but many of the smaller and more nimble ones do not. Most folks learn more in their first year out of college than they would learn in 2 years working toward a masters. Opportunity cost is high today.
I am in tech and participate in a considerable amount of the hiring. The name schools still carry a decent amount of weight, as the strong peer groups at those colleges usually result in strong candidates. I've hired mostly out of UT Austin. First, it's local. Second, I know that a CS or ECE grad w/ a 3.5+ will succeed. I know her courses, I know the faculty, etc. The same applies for folks from a handful of other schools.
The primary advantage of a Stanford, Duke, Harvard, (and dare I say Texas A&M) etc. is the strong alumni network. @CooterBrown dismissed it a bit, but there is a distinct difference for Texas A&M - and some others. Texas A&M grads almost blindly prefer other Texas A&M grads. A Texas A&M Civil Engineer friend notes that it is because he knows they are prepared for what he needs them to do (similar to what I noted in the previous paragraph). It seems to be a bit "blinder" than what I see from Texas grads.
The college application process has gotten wild in the past 10-15 years. Rather than applying to 2-3 colleges, strong students are applying to 20. Rather than taking the SAT 1 time (like I did), kids are taking it 7-8 times. The top schools are getting 20 applications per spot and most would be just fine if they were admitted. I wonder if the admissions teams could not save a lot of time by just take the "Random Walk" approach: discard the obvious mismatches and just throw darts.