Drunk in Malibu

Slightly better on the smack. You should have a lot of time on your hands pretty soon to work on it. See you next season.

Exactly the sort of incisive retort I’ve come to expect. Y’all are terrible at smack, too. You’ve managed to turn fourteen fan bases into Sooner fans.

Texas will never know.

We are smart enough to keep our student section on the other side of the field. Your fan base isn’t ready for prime time. Your team may be. Good luck with your season.

Let’s break that down, sports fans. “I’ve just shown I know nothing about big time college ball, and I’m going to double down with another baseless and ignorant statement.” Do you know the first rule of holes? When you are in one, stop digging.

I doubt that is true. Fans use balloons, not free flow. It’s an accuracy matter. No chance anyone would carpet bomb a group that would inevitably include our own fans. And if you think any of that is true, I’ve got some nice Texas real estate just south of the Rio Grande for sale. As a fan, you will get Tiger baited right before you are offered a beer and a bowl of gumbo. Players are physically off limits. You throw anything on the field and you are gone from our stadium in a most painful way. You think it’s ok for fans to throw things on players. Think about that.

I’d been told Texas fans were relatively ill informed about football. I didn’t fully accept it. You’ve moved me across the line.

If you did, we’d think you were clever. Our players need to clean up a few things. But Texas fans lecturing anyone on class is a little hard to take after what I saw there. Perhaps you should make a rule. Any player who sets the all time passing record in your stadium gets a . . . pass. His name is Joe Burrow.

You don’t think any of your players got IVs? Really?

You do realize that Divinity and Delpit, two of the best on defense, sat out a quarter getting IVs in the locker room, right?

Would you care to address your crowd throwing drinks on LSU players? I’d like to understand the “classiness” of that.

TBH, the smack on this Board is unimaginative and banal. Think I’ll head back where grown men are.

Patrick Petersen says hello. Didn’t we run the numbers and show you weren’t all that? Seems like I read that somewhere.

You really are ignorant.

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