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RPM

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RPM

  1. Not at The Venetian, but I had a scorpion crawl up my pants leg at home. I was sitting with my legs crossed reading a magazine (you remember those) and felt an itch on my inner thigh next to El Guapo & Friends. I scratched it and all hell broke loose. I jumped out of the recliner trying to grab the motherfucker with my left while undoing my belt and blue jeans with the right (which I did in record time) while inventing break dancing. I stood there with my pants around my ankles and my right leg on fire. I counted 13 stings over 6 inches. Scorpion? He ded, but I smashed TF out of it anyway.
  2. RPM

    Getting old sucks

    Statins are your friend.
  3. Going by that metric, my obit will read "Nationally known Celebrity TV chef passes away" which is utter bullshit, but you could connect some dots.
  4. Been rewatching and I'm halfway through S2. Holy shit all the great actors that show up in bit parts. So far Edie Falco, Lee Tergesen, Jake Gyllenhaal, Luis Guzmán, Wilford Brimley... impressive.
  5. No, aggy cold fusion will be at the same point when Mr Fusion is on HEB shelves. They just ran out of time.
  6. Easy. You transport to a time where HEB sells Mr. Fusion (when they are open).
  7. 2 burritos at 380 for 12 min. Flip at 6 min. Let them sit for a couple minutes or risk incinerating the roof of your mouth.
  8. You did it wrong. Air Fryer turns them magical.
  9. It's pretty easy to be a successful politician when you have no soul, love to grift and are a yuge attention whore.
  10. and The Time Tunnel
  11. I'm honestly surprised they haven't developed napalm drones.
  12. It's on the app under Local Favorites
  13. It's hard to fuck up pork ribs. Now don't get me wrong, it can be done. But if you're any level of decent cook they be good. I used to hit the Smile Gas Truck Stop near the Atlanta Farmer's Market. Dumpy little fuel stop but the cranked out some spectacular ribs. I think a half-slab was $4 and full was $8 (this was in the early 90's) Came with 2 sides and tea. There was always a line. As far as I could tell they just had a basic electric commercial smoker. But dem' ribs!
  14. That's just good parenting.
  15. To be fair, you gotta step it up. I'm on Bourbon/Coke #3 and have to bail.
  16. OK, I have to work a 12 today because somebody is in the hospital with Covid. So I'm gonna crash until 4:00. Somebody drink too much for me during the game. I'll pay you back next week.
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