DaggerHorns

This is what I’m screaming.

We got 99 problems and money ain’t one.

Nvrmnd

The dangers of selling your memorabilia on Craigslist...

Less jokes. Let’s try to keep this thread serious, please.

They were always cool enough to let me drink their beer and fuck their chicks... ...consensually.

Craig Naivar should be testing his blow dryer next to his bath tub right now. If not, he should get a head start on the unemployment line.

Its not a museum. It’s called the hall of champions...dick.

Eat shit everyone! I’m thankful that I don’t know any of you in real life...go fuck yourselves!

Checking back in on this request...

Good ‘ol Figurelli. What a fuckwad.

All things considered, it’s going well for your first thread.

Oh god No, we’re fucked.

Of course, the tech punter is supposed to be better.

Tech’s punter just had a longer pass than Sam did all game. “Fuck My Life“ - every longhorn fan

Gen X is the absolute best generation. Everyone else is a bunch of slap dick ass clowns. Last generation to grow up without the internet. We also know how to fuck chicks with or without internet assistance. We can fix your computer but also know when to ignore them. We also didn’t use our student loan money to travel the world and then bitch how we shouldn’t have to pay it back. Gen X is the most well rounded when it comes to employment, pussy, beer, and drugs. We respect others, aren’t snowflakes, work hard, and created great music. Fight me.

I’m indifferent....because I don’t have a vagina.

Another thread about someone running out of tampons...carry on.

It certainly is when you remember he protected Aaron Hernandez.

Say what you want about Urban, don’t care. He’s a piece of shit. I am proud that I graduated from UT. I am also proud that I didn’t go somewhere that covered up rape, covered up fucking little boys, covered up molesting gymnasts, etc... I think if you cheat or mistreat others, that’s one thing, but if you just get caught with weed and a pistol that’s another, because you’re a dumbass. My time in watching Texas is the most any Texas school has done (titles, bowls, player awards). If you have a tiny little dick like OP, you’ll convince yourself that sacrificing moral and ethical standards to win makes sense. All of the sudden, life changes and everything is amazing. When I meet an SEC grad in Austin, I don’t go crazy and think, “oh wow, you must be cool because the football team you cheered for is bad ass.” When I meet an tOSU grad I wonder if they were one of the ones that thought Urban was ok and part of the group that wanted to keep him. What do you think when you meet a PSU grad? It’s just a game and I’m a huge fan. ”cold hitting pipe hitting...” wtf are you talking about. Fuck Urban Meyer, hang him by piano wire in Nuremberg.

Watch a winning program - UT Quidditch

Given his lifestyle, I don’t believe it was the milk n’ cookies that did him in.

“I took a year off to raise guinea pigs with my girlfriend...and do cocaine.” -Chad Holt. This guys seems like and absolute maniacal lunatic. As a legendary Austinite, a creative, and an absolute gem of entertainment, he seems like he would be a blast to paint the town with. I want to know more about him. Anyone here have a bender with him? He was well known in many circles and even worked for Adam Reposa. As he passed away in August, it appears as though he left his mark on Austin with many avenues of creativity. https://www.austinchronicle.com/screens/2019-10-18/chad-holt-austins-last-provocateur/

Further analysis would prove that your chance of getting laid would plummet to <50% had the horns won the game. Horns win: Going out with the boys afterwards and crushing beers accompanied with victory shots would lead to >97% whiskey dick thus lowering sexual performance and probability of intercourse. The chance of the girl ditching would also lead to >50% of no showing for an impending fuck fest postgame. Chance of fucking —> 48.5% Horns lose: Going back to hotel, bypassing post game booze fest 99%. Accompanied by out of town Floridian looking for a postgame round of “hide the sausage” —> 70%. Chance of fucking —> 69.3%

Finally, a reasonable conclusion with absolutely no mathematical explanation.