Information Specialist VII

Found this dangerous thread while looking for CFB "locks." Martingale will make you a sad person. It also takes away the scenarios in which you eat into the house edge trying to get to -0.5% like doubling down, splitting, surrendering, etc. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the times I've lost 10-12 hands in a row. Consider those bad runs a certainty. I discovered martingale in high school and proudly told my father that I would print money when I turned 21. I also thought I had a shot with Jennifer Love Hewitt if I could just get her to visit. My alternative? I don't have one, and nobody should listen to me. I quit a shoe if I'm up 3 units and wait for the next one. Since counting is frowned upon by the people who matter, and booze are free/disorienting, that seems like too much work for me.

I'm in 105 at DKR, which is one of the cheaper areas. I didn't even make the Arlington cut, so my optimism is nonexistent. Operation Blackmail a Politician or Two commences 12/9.

In-depth pro analysis on the playcalling from Section 105 When did they start making fat Mormons I thought Matress Mack was cancelled Worthy wasn't in the huddle, perfect time for timeout instead of interception Joseph Smith must have approved fake tiddies Magic underwear probably works best, but during a 3-game test, Under Armour has beaten Puma and Adidas as best for smuggling flasks through TSA. Avoid violent sneezes Hire Jackie Chan. If you're never going to get a holding call, teach them kung fu to get out of the choke holds I saw some Miller Lite empties on the way out and am desperate to find out where they're sold on the home side. I am too fat to drink real beer this year, and Michelob Ultra makes me sad/mad Saw a navy "I soak" shirt and thought it was kind of funny but then remembered that soaking is not fun after you turn 15 Taysom traveled but did not suit up:

Do not read. First season under .500 at any point in 10 years. Liberty -19 Texas -6 Maryland +18.5 Alabama -2.5 Iowa -2.5 Miami(OH) -10.5 KU -3.5 Rice -9.5 Miss -11

Every time I get piss drunk at Campisi's Friday, followed by visits to at least 2 bars, we cover and win. The formula is there. I'll do my part.

Downward spiral, under .500. Double down. KU @ UT 1H under 31.5 UCF -12.5 Rice -3.5 WVU @ TCU 1H under 25.5 Washington -18.5

Pur/Wis 1H under 26.5 UMass -3.5 UL -9.5 Passed on ND +3 barely. 14-14 this season, not proud about it unless my wife asks.

10-9, don't care, not calling the "if you have a problem" number. Got these on Tuesday PSU -14 KSU -5 ISU -2.5 OreSt -24 UNC -7.5 AppSt -9.5 Cinn -14 OkSt -7.5 Miss -20

5-5 on the season. I am confident that I have learned lessons, but historically, that is probably incorrect. ND -7.5 Utah -7.5 KSU -16.5 JMU -6.5 UMass +7 Wash -34 Oregon -6.5 FSU -31 OkSt -3

Texas: 51 Rice: 10 Ewers: 271 yds passing ...and I'm guessing almost half those yards are after catch

2-2 so far this season. I always bet on way too many games. ECU @ Mich over 51.5 Tennessee -28 Colorado +20.5 Not because Colorado/Sanders. Because TCU. Low confidence, but I want to believe they are trash, and gambling helps me believe. Washington -14 Rice @ Texas first half over 30.5 Thinking every RB sees time 2nd half, answers Sark's hopes/fears, and eats clock Texas -35.5

"Texas needs the best OC. Herman needs experienced assistants who are good at recruiting. And I get paid to write this." Pure genius. Totally worth $9.95.

Disagree. Kansas: Shit. Always shit. Bert's: Shit. Always shit. Texas Tech: Garbage. Fans are annoying and oblivious. Bill Miller's: Garbage. Fans are annoying and oblivious. West Virginia: Far away next to farms where people make their own alcohol. Not very good. Salt Lick: Far away next to farms where people make their own alcohol. Not very good. TCU: Got kind of good for a while. Not so much lately. Stiles Switch: Got kind of good for a while. Not so much lately. Oklahoma State: Financially buoyed by rich, former guy. In Stillwater--named after still water. If you have to partake, do it for the mullet. County Line: Financially buoyed by rich locals. Next to some still water. If you have to partake, all-you-can-eat beef ribs. Iowa State: Year after year, nobody really knows until the end-of-season "meh"...but please beat Iowa. Green Mesquite: Year after year, a hard "meh"...but please be open when I can't find parking at Terry Black's. Kansas State: People might not know it yet, but solid. Valentina's: People might not know about it yet, but solid. Texas: Fuck you, I still enjoy it and will tune in once a week. Cooper's: Fuck you, I still enjoy it and will eat lunch there once a week. Oklahoma: Fuck Oklahoma. That place on 35 south somewhere around Oltorf attached to a hotel: I assume fuck them. It's attached to a shitty hotel. Baylor: Got decent, did terrible things, should have received the death penalty. Looking for comeback. Mueller's: Got decent, did bad things, and got shut down by the comptroller. Looking for comeback. Haven't tried Studdard's trailer, and I'm not proud of that.

If it wasn't already posted, here's some stuff to satisfy your masochism.

I don't like that one play where we punted the football