So I've stopped fucking around with low fat intake. I went and had bloodwork done a few weeks ago and got some markers for hormones being all out of whack as well as some liver/kidney markers that are eleveated. I immediately knew what the issue was and have adjusted my fat intake. I'm using a 35/35/30 split of carb/protein/fat and have already gained a few pounds. I'm up to 183 and feel absolutely wonderful. My testosterone levels were low. Like very low. I've slowly started to feel my libido turning around and thinking back, I was pretty miserable.
I'm going to try and hit 190 before I start training for the half marathon. Race is in January and training should start around the first of September.
I think a lot of people in society today only think eating disorders can effect women. I feel like I was self-sabotaging myself and subconsciously trying to not gain weight because I'm afraid I'll become a fatass again. But what I was doing was not sustainable. I felt like shit, was sleeping like shit, and was just not a pleasant person to be around given the hormonal imbalance that comes with eliminating most forms of fat from a diet. I've started to include whole eggs, avocados, nuts, nut butters and fatty fish to have a better balanced diet. I have to get at least 75g of fat every day from these sources. It really is amazing how what you eat can metabolically effect your mood, attitude, and overall mental health.