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TexLonghorn

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Everything posted by TexLonghorn

  1. "You have a fan, Lamar!"
  2. "Coach, I have to head out - going to the zoo in the morning with the fam!" "You have fun tomorrow!"
  3. 1 - Didn't do a "1st game vs. 1st game" comparison because aggy looked like crap barfing their way through Elko's first game against ND, while Texas won their first game under Sark against #23 Louisiana by 20 points, 38-18. 2 - Didn't use the actual score of the Texas loss to Arkansas, which was 40-21, had to exaggerate it to 49 points to make it seem worse. Didn't mention the Texas game was AT arky, while their ND meltdown was at home "the toughest place to play in the land." Also didn't mention that just two weeks later that same arky team beat a supposedly #7 aggy team 20-10. 3 - Didn't recognize that their forum is already on fire, as a direct parallel to the dumpster that is their team.
  4. Elko finishing his address to the 100 recruits right before kickoff: Fat Elk: "...and that's why y'all shouldn't go to evil tu (teehee). Any questions for me before the game?" Jerome Myles: "Uh, yeah. Coach?" Fat Elk: "Yeah, Jerry, whatchoo got?" Jerome: "It's Jerome. But hey, could you get a passing yard for me? It would be so special." Fat Elk: "You got it, Jerry! A passing yard just for you!" *all the recruits mutter* Another recruit: "All of us, Coach! Could you get a passing yard for all 100 of us??" Fat Elk: "Um, well sure. We'll do even better than that! We'll get 3 or 4 passing yards for each of you guys! Three or four hundred total passing yards! That's how great the quarterback you could be playing alongside is!" Recruits: "Yay!" ...
  5. Everyone on the roller coaster! aaaand… it’s over. Drive home carefully, everybody.
  6. Haha! How many recruits does aggy have there watching this train wreck?
  7. Isn't that contradictory, though? You can't appeal to maga by adopting their extreme positions yet still be a wolf in sheep's clothing. The only way to appeal to maga is to fully be in wolf's clothing. You pretend to be anything other than maga, and you lose the maga base.
  8. Yes. Congratulations!
  9. You know Brigitte was desperate to have a black person on her β€œfreedom loving Hollywood” list when she includes some nobody named Joy Villa. I googled her and STILL have no idea who she is. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
  10. The correct answer is 5. Seat 3 IS next to arguably the nicest passenger already on the plane, but you know Trump is putting his seat back as far as he can, and Jones yelling near your ear the whole flight? No. I've seen Vance's donut shop banter. He's the least likely to blather on for the whole flight, and I'm not a couch, so there's some safety there. You get to seat 5. "How long have you been on the plane?" he asks. Tex: "Five minutes." JD: "Ok." <Long Pause> "You also going to San Diego?" Tex: "Yeah. We're on the same plane." JD: "Ok." An uncomfortable smile-ish sort of thing from him: "I'm running for Vice President of the United States," a confused and pitying look from me: "Ok," then it's just turn and look out the window for the rest of the flight, with an occasional "You're 'accidentally' touching my leg again, JD" rebuke, and a weird "Ok," from him. Then hopefully we're almost in San Diego by then.
  11. Whaaaat happened at 6am? Did they have to give money back?
  12. Hey now, there's nothing feminine about that last one
  13. "J6 Awards Gala" And the TRAITOR* Award for most creative use of an American Flag goes to Peter Stager of Arkansas, for "as a weapon to attack Capitol Police"! Congratulations! And here to accept his award, also remote from his prison like our other award recipients, is Pete Stager!
  14. It's going to be the couch and a forensics expert
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