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Walden Ponderer

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Everything posted by Walden Ponderer

  1. Walden Ponderer
    I generally find my wife's genealogical research something to be tolerated rather than encouraged, but it makes me genuinely happy that she discovered that I am 6th cousins to Jimmy Carter. We call him Cousin Jimmy, and sincerest hope is that we someday again see politicians with as much character get elected again, at any level of government.
  2. Walden Ponderer
    Guys, I'm having a bit of a problem here in North Carolina. I can't decide whether I should wear a polo, or just a regular t-shirt. Comfortable mild weather like this makes it so hard to choose sometimes.
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  4. Walden Ponderer
    I don't see the flamethrowers.
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    I met someone from Wisconsin once who wasn't a total idiot. Had I known at the time how remarkable that was, I would have gotten a selfie with him.
  8. Walden Ponderer
    Don't be ridiculous. He had sequiturs. People, some people are saying, they were the best sequiturs ever.
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  11. Walden Ponderer
    Jule Gilmer Körner is the architect who broke every rule in re-decorating his house seemingly every five minutes after first building it in 1880. The town was named after Joseph Kerner in 1817 when he donated land. The phonetic coincidence is of a piece with how weird the place is, but doesn't signify a durned thing.
  12. Walden Ponderer
    Reagan skated on Iran-Contra; this is just a new flavor. We are not capable as a nation of performing justice upon oligarchs.
  13. Walden Ponderer
    Wasn't Christian Kulas the girl in Hansen?
  14. Walden Ponderer
    I think the Wokejacking Clowns were the band at the most recent bat mitzvah I attended. They did a really lousy cover of "Thriller".
  15. Walden Ponderer
    She stops to ask you how long you've been a lesbian.
  16. Walden Ponderer
    Whether Republicans would vote for her or not is not the question. The question is whether they will be motivated to come out and vote for Rubio. That is a much less certain proposition. I'm not betting on her to win, but I'm not so sure I would bet against her, either, at least not without more data.
  17. Walden Ponderer
    Proud Boy Donohoe is from Kernersville, which is just up the road from me. They have a waffle and ice cream shop which doubles as a cat rescue. They also have Korner's Folly, which is truly a bizarre architectural wonder. The attic theater alone is worth the visit, if you're ever in the neighborhood. And now, they also have an anti-American terrorist knucklehead, so they've come up in the world.
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    It's on VHS, so probably not gonna happen.
  20. Walden Ponderer
    I thought it was because every time you eat powdered donuts, ball bearings start flying at your face because magnets.
  21. Walden Ponderer
    Amen. Our wedding video has one of my wife's uncles... old dude who had just lost his dairy farm, and shortly thereafter, his marbles... ranting to our Hindu wedding videographer about "Slavery... of the mind..." and somehow linking it to chemtrails and powdered donuts and God knows what all else. I think about him any time the subject of Stephenville, Texas, comes up. Fortunately, that's not very often.
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  23. Walden Ponderer
    More. And Carrboro is just ridiculous. That's part of why I'm 10 miles outside town. That, and, you know... people. Yuck.
  24. Walden Ponderer
    That, sadly, is the case all too often. If somebody genuinely wants to help others, I will honor them even if I have fundamental differences regarding what that ought to mean. But for those who never show the slightest interest in the less fortunate? I'm sorry, I don't care whether you live or die. If you show that level of disinterest to humanity, why should humanity not return the favor? Sorry, I'm just infuriated over the kid glove treatment being given to people who shat on others on a habitual basis. You treat people badly, you don't have me mourn when you're gone. It's really that simple.
  25. Walden Ponderer
    Seriously, Milo is trying the conversion schtick? He couldn't be more unbelievable if he plastered an "I want Jesus' cock!" bumpersticker on his forehead. Nobody. NO. BODY. is buying the bullshit, Milo. You're gayer than a $3, and you always have been and always will be. It's who you are, sweetie, own it.

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