Walden Ponderer

I don't care what form it takes. I just want to see some sort of congressional hearing where Mike Pence is under oath answering questions about the events of January 6th. Because that stupid motherfucker doesn't always know his ass from a hole in the ground, but he is absolutely sincere in his faith, and will not lie. Other Republicans may confuse "Trump" and "God", but Pence doesn't, and he won't lie under oath.

There are many, many reasons for comparisons to the Reichstag Fire to make a sentient being uncomfortable.

Ditch the distilled vinegar, sugar, and salt, and you're on to something. As it is, though, it sucks. Just give me the actual peppers. Most "hot sauce" sucks; Sriracha sucks even harder. Just give me the damned peppers.

All of this. There's a reason Bernie Sanders, who is just about as middle-of-the-road for the rest of the world as they could possibly come (boringly moderate, in fact) is seen as a wild-eyed radical in this country. It's because we have never actually been a democracy; we're an oligarchy with democratic dressing. That doesn't make the fascists any less scary, but it does keep things in the proper perspective. "Established power being threatened by democracy." Yep, that's exactly what we're looking at.

You're only a career politician if you're a libtard from the Democrat party. It's right there on the first segment of the decoder ring.

You know what you get if you roll Wheeler, Mega Dittos, and santini into an off-season thread? Bored, that's what you get. What I remember most about the 360 days was being drunk most of the time. I doubt sobriety would have improved it much.

Wooden, brainless, and with somebody's hand up his ass. That describes Charlie, too.

Why they don't find it embarrassing to only have non-college educated voters is a mystery. Republicans are dumb fucking bunnies no matter how you slice it. It needs to be repeated ad nauseum.

No, but he's usually pretty lighthearted when he says so.

If you want to out-Surly CTJ, bring a boxed lunch. That dude is usually crankier when he's right than he is when he's wrong. I say that knowing full well that 90% of people can't tell the difference, either in his crankiness level or his rightness level.

I'm gonna steal a comparison from politics; David Brooks (who in my mind is the Tom Herman of political commentators) fucks up a lot of analysis, but one thing he said about the Presidency rings even more true for the Texas head football coaching position: it is a bacterium. Now, in spite of being bad grammar, it is an apt observation -- Presidents all have things they want to be remembered for, but they also bring their inherent weaknesses with them to an oversized position, and if the circumstances align, those unfavorable traits blow up to overtake everything else they are trying to stand for. Think Jimmy Carter's passive ennui, or LBJ's bluff and bluster, or Clinton's womanizing, or George W.'s bumbling facade -- none of those things were all those people were, but those are all what they are mostly remembered for when asked for a first approximation. Mack's bacterium was his butter-toothed whininess; Strong's was his vacant stare; Herman's was summed up by having been on the verge of tears before WVU's two point conversion in a game that was otherwise destined to be forgotten in a drunken blur. What's Sarkisian's weakness? Hopefully, things align in such a way that, like Royal all those years ago, we don't notice enough to be able to say. One thing's for sure, though: the pressure cooker of being the Texas head coach? That causes some folk to blanch before cracking? Yeah, it's a good fucking thing. There's no pressure to win at places that don't win. I never want to be one of those places.

Well, it makes sense. Dating back to the Reagan administration and good ol' Ollie North, conservatives have been shipping arms to radical Islamists and buying-and-selling drugs with vigilante-terrorists for a long time now.

"I never heard of him before, and here's 11 specific horrible things about him you could only know by working with him." The script is already written.

Having read this page, I now know less than I did when I started. Fuck the off season.

Ummm.... Yeah. That's pretty open and shut. Gaetz is fucked. Only question is how many co-defendants are fucked right alongside him.

Oh, totally serious. The margin for error is obviously greater on the lesser charges, but I'm not confident in anything they do. Obviously, they have to keep doing it. But I don't feel comfortable in letting them do anything that can't be undone, like, say, the death penalty.

Personally, if the criminal justice system weren't so racist on even jaywalking charges, I'd have less problem with a jury deciding whether their fellow citizen lived or died. But, ah... I can't be sure someone even ought to be pulled over anymore, let alone whether they ought to get the chair.

A dinner date with Lindsey Graham.

Just saw this listed for $14 on Craigslist as "Vintage Toys":