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Walden Ponderer

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Walden Ponderer

  1. Walden Ponderer
    I wouldn't say "never", but more often than not, if I have a choice, I won't order fries. The "choice", of course, is onion rings.
  2. Walden Ponderer
    "I did the laundry."
  3. Walden Ponderer
    I guess there's one fewer salary the cops need now, so defunding seems to be working.
  4. Walden Ponderer
    I'm just here waiting for someone to update us all with the GQP talking points on police brutality now that Derek Chauvin is getting set to meet the new love of his life:
  5. Walden Ponderer
    Lamb kebab. Now your beef kebab has been beaten, and it wasn't that tough.
  6. Walden Ponderer
    It's the place for it. My first namesake ancestor dropped "MacGregor" and went with another Mc name on the Wake County census records for 1760.
  7. Walden Ponderer
    Frankie Fuckin' Mermaid
  8. Walden Ponderer
    North Carolina actually has a huge population of Pennsylvania expat descendants. Lots of Quakers in the Piedmont, as an example, though there's more than just a smattering of Amish, Mennonite, and God knows what all else, in addition to the Scots, third sons of nobles, etc. who pretty much owned all the coastal land worth owning, and the miscellaneous mongrels who settled the Smokies.
  9. Walden Ponderer
    So, I invented a new word today: plagiarism. Just kidding; I actually stole that joke.
  10. Walden Ponderer
    They typically only cause cosmetic damage that you can just pinch off. But if they're worse than usual, insecticidal soap is probably your best bet. Meanwhile, I'm looking at today and tomorrow on the forecast and cursing fate. Decent chance of a frost here, so I'm gonna have to deep-water my tomatoes and hope for the best. My body clock is still on the Texas calendar, so the idea that it's late April, and I still have to think about shit like that really blows. On the other hand, I don't have the July "dead period" any more -- can pretty much plant most anything I want from now until September, before I have to start thinking about temperature again.
  11. Walden Ponderer
    In this country? There are actually gardeners with green cards...?
  12. Walden Ponderer
    You can get a pretty effective Trumpicide in the lawn & garden center of your nearest Lowe's.
  13. Walden Ponderer
    What page of the athletic department budget is the line item for cloning Bijan Robinson on? I don't think we're spending enough on that project, frankly.
  14. Walden Ponderer
    Welp, there goes the business plan...
  15. Walden Ponderer
    I'm just disappointed in Surly for not assuming "Q" stood for "Queef".
  16. Walden Ponderer
    He makes the best egg rolls. Really divine. And yuuuuge. Nobody has ever made egg rolls like him.
  17. Walden Ponderer
    If we handle our shit right, Russia and China become irrelevant. I don't hold out much hope for Russia and China being irrelevant any time soon.
  18. Walden Ponderer
  19. Walden Ponderer
    A subscription to Amazon Prime. Probably should have done it pre-pandemic, but I didn't think I'd order that much stuff online.
  20. Walden Ponderer
    I would think just as a candidate, yes. Once you hold office, though, that's a big "nope".
  21. Walden Ponderer
    The ChiComms and Russkies may have amplified the crazy, but make no mistake: we did this to ourselves by neutering the value of a public education over the last 50 years. If you're looking for people with legitimate critical thinking skills, don't look in the good ol' U.S. of A.
  22. Walden Ponderer
    The Happy Time Murders
  23. Walden Ponderer
    Isn't it about time we did away with common law, and started making exceptional, even outstanding, law instead?
  24. Walden Ponderer
    Well, technically it's standard operating procedure for people-acting-stupid-under-the-influence-of-whiteness.
  25. Walden Ponderer
    I will be stealing this.

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