Walden Ponderer

Napoleon might have agreed with you after every battle he fought before Waterloo. History has a way of continuing to evolve. A hundred years from now, Trump and his cronies will be remembered as immoral morons, and nothing that happens in the next five election cycles is likely to change that. The only ones to suffer, of course, will be everyone, if we don't stop behaving like dumbasses at some point.

I have pronounced loudly and clearly how stupid I think this hire is. The fact that it was so loud, and so clear, means I'm probably gonna have a zillion responses that I really don't want to read. So, here's the only reason I'm saying something now. I really don't want anyone to misinterpret the fact that I'm ignoring their responses to my prediction that we've just hired Howard Fucking Schnellenburger. I still love you as fellow Longhorns fans, and if you turn out to be right and I turn out to be wrong, I will be as fucking happy as a fucking clam (and we all know how happy clams are when they are fucking). I am just depressed as shit by this turn of events, which I see as worse than having left well enough fucking alone, so forgive my invective. I will love it beyond belief if I turn out to be wrong.

The Conservative party in this country is the Democratic Party. That is the starting point for any rational, realistic, grounded in reality understanding of "truth". Those of us with a progressive, genuinely certifiable, 100% "Liberal" agenda HAVE NO PARTY. Conservatives, who want to preserve America as it has been known, are Democrats. Those who support the current President? Those who vote Republican? Yeah, those people are fascists. Let's not mince words, let's not put pretense out there of shit that's not true. If you vote "Red" you are a fucking authoritarian, tyrant supporting piece of fucking totalitarian shit. You are an ASSHOLE. If you consider yourself in any way "moderate" or "middle of the road" you should be screaming your support of Nancy Pelosi and her corporatist Democrat platform from the fucking rooftops. You should be a Democrat with a fucking capital D, and Joe Biden should be your patron fucking saint. We Liberals, who have way more in common with 6.8 billion of our fellow fucking human beings than you do, HAVE NO PARTY in this country. We only vote Democrat because they are not fucking homicidal lunatics. So GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS, you so called "moderate" Americans. Call the Republicans the pieces of shit that they are. GROW. SOME. FUCKING. BALLS.

Avoid being called "Texas' Howard Schnellenberger" at the end of the year. I'll be pleasantly surprised by anything less disastrous than that.

If his first call isn't to find an AA sponsor in Austin, we're all gonna need a lot of TUMS.

Not happy hour yet.

Well, now that is just a disturbing thought altogether.

I really, really, really hope they remember to not wear masks, and to lick each other's utensils repeatedly at every meal.

That's exactly the way party splits happen in this country, though. A schism opens up over an issue that a large percentage of the endangered party doesn't care about -- eventually, the purity test gets so severe that the party's more rational members leave, and the party becomes a minority part for a longish period of time, until the other side splits the same way, and the issues and social cleavages evolve into a different set of social constructs. It's happened five or six times historically, and will happen again. Just because we're a two party system doesn't mean that it will always be the same two exact parties.

Danny Bonaduce's stage name down at the Salty Stud strip club.

Then what will happen to the current "actually conservative" party? I mean, they've been called "Democrats" so long, it would surely come as a shock to their systems.

Seriously, is there anything in the world that screams "I want to be buttfucked by a rabid bull" any louder than a Confederate flag? I mean, how fucking gay can you get?

I don't know how recent this photo was, but she apparently aged fairly well. My wife is into following stories like this, so she knows -- turns out Dawn Wells was good friends IRL with the actors who played the Howells, who bailed her out frequently in the aftermath of that cast getting the biggest screw job in the history of bad TV contracts.

The cornbread and milk thing reminds me of something I used to love as a kid -- onion slices in milk. I would probably still do this now, if I actually still drank milk. Come to think of it, onion ring pasties might... well, that's probably for a different thread....

That myth has already been debunked. It's no Bill Gates microchip, it's a new album by U2.