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Walden Ponderer

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Walden Ponderer

  1. No, you probably can't. It's not just that his point was stupid, it's that it was presented in such a psychotic and disorganized fashion that he left most of us wondering if he was having seizures of some kind.
  2. Well, given that I was making a joke at our President-Reject's expense, I'm thinking no, I wouldn't like them very much. Honestly, whether you call it catsup, catchup, ketchup, or Fred Flintstone, I am not a fan of the stuff. Don't even use it on fries. And well done steak is a waste of perfectly good beef.
  3. Anybody around here with the Rona want to volunteer to mail ol' Mikey a used kleenex?
  4. Friend of the family graduated from U. of Chicago with an economics degree in the last year or so (I lose track). Anyway, her junior year, she interned at the White House. We all assumed she'd have interesting stories to tell. Not so much. Just another shitty office job. I'm guessing most of the folk packing their shit in the next week or so are going to be more than happy to get the hell out of there.
  5. I've always observed that even though your own children are typically kinda cute, other people's babies are the ugliest damned things anybody anywhere has ever seen.
  6. 2020 was a good year for my family. We moved into our 100% bought-and-paid-for farmhouse using our bought-and-paid-for SUV pulling a bought-and-paid-for trailer. Not one fucking penny owed to the criminally parasitic banks or their criminally parasitic political servants. And lower property taxes than we were paying in College Fucking Station, to boot. But most folk aren't in that boat. I advise everyone who can find an escape hatch from the usury economy to take it, post-haste. Every penny you pay in interest is another penny paid to your own hangman.
  7. I typically take a child-centered view towards any movement. Is it good for children? If so, yay, if not, fuck off. The "free love" movement was decidedly not good for children. Pretty much any movement that does not favor monogamy as a way of life is not good for children. Married gay parents? Great! Provided they are interested in forming monogamous, loving, caring environments for children. Of course, as it turns out, the gay couples I know are pretty boring (which is why I know them), and therefore are uniquely suited to being good parents. I'm sure there are plenty of gay people who are as obnoxiously awful and never-should-be-parents as some of the straight people I know whose unfaithfulness as spouses has rendered them little better than shit-sandwiches in my eyes. I find it remarkable, really, that one of the worst human beings who has ever lived on this score was elected President -- but hell, Trump's hardly unique on that score. Ask Jane Wyman.
  8. Bubble gum is a stupid flavor for bubble gum. For a drink, it's even dumber.
  9. That's because Big Red blows donkey dongs. I'm intrigued by the cheddar, though. I don't think I'd have it with the actual meat, but I could see cleansing the palate between brisket bites with a slice of cheddar and some onion and jalapeño.
  10. That's just proper, that is. Hell, Domino's offers ranch as a side for pizza. I only do it with cheese, though. For some reason, if there's toppings, it just doesn't seem to work for me. But that's the one thing I remember from Gatti's, is the ranch on a big slice of cheese pizza. Good times.
  11. Well, duh. I mean, we're all hung like horses, right? Amiright?
  12. The pedantic part of me wants to argue with this characterization for some pretty boring reasons, but the part of me full of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is just so giddy about how fucking hysterically funny it is regardless of how you characterize it that I really don't fucking care. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
  13. I moved to Kingsville from Durango, Colorado, when I was just starting 3rd grade. My first impression of South Texas? The evening news was dominated that year by stories of Lester Roloff's floating "Homes for Wayward Boys" where he had set up his foster care facilities off-shore so that he could get away with beatings and with starvation diets to discipline his young charges, presumably so they could find the Lord. And the fucking right wing fundamentalist wackos in Corpus Christi STILL think the state was wrong to shut his demonic child-abusing ass down. Texas conservatives are fucked up in the extreme when it comes to child care. Seriously. Demented, warped, twisted, and fucked up. No other way to put it.
  14. Also, there is never a wrong time to remind people of Vince Young & Co kicking Colorado's ass so hard it ended up in New Zealand. Which is probably where Joel Klatt's brain ended up, too, come to think of it.
  15. Okay, this one actually has my attention. I'm gonna give it a whirl this weekend. My wife does the mayo on grilled cheese thing. It's okay, I guess, but I still prefer the greasy "yes I'm coming for your arteries" honesty of a nice buttery outside on a grilled cheese. Purely aesthetic, though, because I do have to admit the mayo trick is certainly legit in terms of texture. I ain't puttin' no damned nuts in my soda, though. Y'all are gross.
  16. I love Stone Mountain here in NC, but if you do decide to visit during the pandemic, you gotta show up early. The park is extremely serious about social distancing, all the moreso since the locals are (ahem!) hillbilly dumbasses. There are a ton of really great cafes all up and down the Blue Ridge Parkway, but again, be prepared for the locals to have questionable hygiene. We're not eating out up in the mountains again until the Rona is over, because we don't have a death wish.
  17. I will just add that the votes in question had actually already been sequestered. They had never been included in the vote count anyway, which is why the ruling "will not change the vote count as it currently stands." He literally won the ability to keep some of the vote from counting, and so it didn't. He lost anyway.
  18. You're not far off. The problem was with *how* Turner realized you could make it profitable. Back when CNN was just a 24 hour running loop of 30 minute news shows, it had good content, reporting-wise, but wasn't a money maker. It's when they started adding infotainment shows, which are the bane of civilization, that they started making money. Now, of course, actual news is hard to come by, because you've got nothing but talking heads for 24 hours a day. EDIT: I should add, that's not Turner's fault, or CNN's fault. That's on us, the dumbass, gullible human consumers who have allowed our society to go to shit because we can't pay fucking attention to what's actually going on for more than five fucking minutes without getting bored.
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