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Walden Ponderer

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Everything posted by Walden Ponderer

  1. Walden Ponderer
    Under that standard, so was Chernobyl, so I say, I leave it to your level of didactic intervention to decide what is natural and what is not. All I know is what makes me go "ewww".
  2. Walden Ponderer
    Maybe I should have said "capable of lactation without unnatural intervention"? Because, um.... yeah. Gross.
  3. Walden Ponderer
    I get why Stephen Miller being a racist asshole doesn't bug some people. Racist assholes wouldn't object, after all. But why doesn't the fact that he is a tiny-penis'd wimpy ass dumbfuck bother them? Oh. Yeah.
  4. Walden Ponderer
    Sez you. IOUs are every bit as good as treasure.
  5. Walden Ponderer
    Finally, some vindication for Harvest Green, the best place in Toronto to get a Caesar salad!
  6. Walden Ponderer
    Forbes headline: Honestly, does it matter what comes after "Supporters"? "Four Stabbed, One Shot As Trump Supporters Get Their Coffee At Circle K" works just as well as any other headline.
  7. Walden Ponderer
    Hey, if you prefer the jiggly Derka variety, more power to you.
  8. Walden Ponderer
    August 12, 2019. Not that the date is forever etched in my memory or anything.
  9. Walden Ponderer
    I personally don't give a flying fuck what you call it, it is my favorite part of human anatomy. Capable-of-lactation breasts are a relatively close second.
  10. Walden Ponderer
    What makes this so perfect, is the opening salvo in his bid to win friendship: "Jehovah's Witnesses in the neighborhood today. Be warned." Dude, Jehovah's Witnesses are so far ahead of you in the "people I like" category, you should feel bad, and all your shit's retarded.
  11. Walden Ponderer
  12. Walden Ponderer
    No shit. I will never forgive him for pushing serial philanderer Cal Cunningham on us here in NC. There was a perfectly well qualified woman from Durham (and "woman from Durham" is code-speak for "person of color") who would have kicked Tillis' lily-white ass up one side and down the other. But even though it's purple, NC is a bible-thumpin' state. There's plenty of black folk who left the senate box unchecked, even though they love Roy Cooper as governor. Schumer lost NC, plain and simple.
  13. Walden Ponderer
    We've been trying to play nice with our neighbors. Half of them are hippies like us, and half are hillbilly Trumpers. We actually have a lot in common, when you can get them to shut up about politics. Unlike most of my wild-eyed radical socialist friends, I don't even mind the gunfire every Saturday and Sunday morning. It's kinda cute, really. But recently, one of our Trumpkin neighbors asked me if I'd like to go to work for his company. He's in IT, see, and he knows that I spent 20+ years as a software QA guy. He even tried to entice me with "It's an Austin based company, surely you'd like to work for an Austin company, right?" Nice pitch, guy. But, no, I'm happy with my current gig, and have no desire to work for a tech company ever again. I especially don't want to work for SolarWind.
  14. Walden Ponderer
    "Did you get that?!"
  15. Walden Ponderer
    "So, the most qualified people from your subset of political beliefs just told you that you are an incompetent buffoon. Any comment?" D'oh!
  16. Walden Ponderer
    It takes a while for some ideas to percolate, but the thing to remember is that to change someone's mind, you have to speak their language. This is the reason "Defund the police" is one of the worst advertising slogans in history. It is also our hope for the future. See, Karl Rove introduced it just this weekend. "Trump is on the edge of looking like a sore loser." Sure, that's bullshit. "The edge"....?!?! Dafuq? But, it's out there now. And you can't help but think that even when they reject this notion ("He's not a sore loser!") you can't help but notice that "Trump" and "loser" are now connected phonemes. Sooner or later, even in Appalachia, that sort of thing takes root.
  17. Walden Ponderer
    Yeah. It's called "Parler".
  18. Walden Ponderer
    I don't know, man. Kinda hard to convince me they can be involved in a high tech conspiracy when they can't even get wifi in Vancouver.
  19. Walden Ponderer
  20. Walden Ponderer
  21. Walden Ponderer
    This right here is the strongest argument I can think of for post-natal abortion. Jesus fucking Christ the stupidity, racism, misogyny, hypocrisy, and brain rot runs deep.
  22. Walden Ponderer
    Their lack of comprehension of the religion they profess is, always, depressing. It would be constitutionally questionable, but I always thought the best response to posting the Ten Commandments would have been to require them to also post the Sermon on the Mount. I often wonder if it is ever even mentioned at all in some churches.
  23. Walden Ponderer
    You know what I'm diggin' on? The fact that they lose so many of these things that we can't keep track any more. Der Spiegel had it right.
  24. Walden Ponderer
    Well, you left out the part where he's a coke-addled buffoon who was besties with another coke-addled buffoon, and so neither of them were really doing what you could call "thinking" but, yeah, you've got the gist of it.
  25. Walden Ponderer
    The same ethos existed in 1860 -- nobody who cared to do the math thought the South had a snowball's chance in hell. But nobody cared to do the math.

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