Ladies and Gentlemen, and literally no other pronoun,
Allow me to be the first to congratulate my President, Donald J Trump, on his incredible work to dismantle the single greatest economy the world has ever seen. It ain't easy being handed the keys to a 'vette and managing to flip it- but he did just that the first time to the economy with his Covid 19 response. Now here we sit, in our lifted F250, jacked so high up in the air no other country can lick the taint on our truck nuts, and he has done it again, this time liberating us from the freedom handcuffs of Joe Biden's growth economy with a weapon named tariffs. Take a bow Mr. President, nobody has managed to do this amount of damage twice to the US economy, but you have truly earned your 4-day work week this time. Enjoy Florida and the Saudi-sponsored golf tournament, and thank you for all you did to lower egg prices on this Jobsgiving Eve.
Remember you had no choice, this man was 3 years older and didn't impress you in a Summer debate.