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Stilicho

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Everything posted by Stilicho

  1. Curious to see the spin on the funding freeze. Fairly certain the entire state government here in Oklahoma is held together by federal grant money, Barry Switzer memorabilia sales, and Uncle Roscoe's crystal meth operation. The rank-and-file were pretty distraught over it this afternoon. Can't wait for the talking points.
  2. Probably the most apt description I’ve seen of long COVID. I’m certain we’ve all lived rougher lives at some point, but this has been so much worse than any cold turkey detox I put myself through with opioids, benzos, or alcohol. It’s the drizzling shits for the whole body.
  3. I went through supervised Spravato treatments for 12 weeks (initially planned for longer but… insurance). For me, it built a floor over the desire to act on suicidal ideation. The ideation was still there, just not as strong, but the desire to actually follow through with it decreased almost entirely. I also have aphantasia, so I really didn’t experience any hallucinations or disassociation, though my doctor told me both were rare in the dosage I was prescribed. The primary drawback for me was that Spravato often spikes your blood pressure, which can trigger cardiac scares and panic episodes (I suffer from the latter). I did treatments in clinic and there was always an emergency dose of Ativan available as a sort of “mental security blanket”. Only experienced a “slight uptick in panic” during the first two sessions. It had a small positive effect on my depression, but real world circumstances and long COVID are hard to overcome for me at the moment, so it wasn’t as effective against the depression as we had hoped. But it may have been literal life saver for me re: suicidal ideation. As with any psych drug though, YMMV.
  4. Briefly worked with the Afghan Asylum Project back in 2022/23 when a large number were being routed into Oklahoma. Mostly trying to reunite soldiers / interpreters with their families and get their asylum process kickstarted and as uniform as we could. The few groups I did intake and interviews with were the ones lucky enough to get the fuck out of Kabul before we left them behind. Heartbreaking shit. To be honest, I’m not sure how they held themselves together through any of the process. They were grateful. In their shoes, I would’ve been fucking furious. Ghoulish is pretty spot on.
  5. Would that make Noah Thomas to Georgia less likely?
  6. The similarities between this thread and the TexAgs thread over the last 48 hours are uncanny. They are so very close to becoming self-aware.
  7. Old man died this past November from a massive stroke. 68 years old and we'd more or less hated one another for the better part of a decade. Hurts more than I thought it would. Back in 2020, at the height of COVID, I decided I was tired of the way shit worked in my shitty service corner of the O&G business. Went in a radical direction: applied and got accepted into law school at 37 with the idea of "helping people". Took out the loans to go, but had the rest of the 3 year financial plan mapped out and accounted. Pulled the trigger and did it in 2021. Pissed the old man off something fierce. Got sick with COVID in January 2022. Never got better. Several thousands of dollars out of pocket later, the best diagnosis at present is long COVID with acute neuropathy (and no explanation as to how the former jumpstarted the latter). Money squirreled away for background tests, bar prep, and bar exam got spent on lung CTs and nerve specialists. So... no bar exam post-grad. Graduated in May 2024. Over 150 applications out, ranging from my old life in the O&G service sector to anything legal adjacent or government. Can't even get a legitimate interview. Burned through everything trying to gig work and keep the lights on. In the process of a home refi (at such an opportune time!) to try and get some breathing room in the hopes of landing some sort of permanent employment. The depression and despair are fucking tangible at this point. I went through a 12 week round of Spravato before our insurance cut it earlier this fall. It helped stabilize some stuff. Built a floor above the self-harm stuff. The usual cocktails of SSRIs and ADs and benzos haven't really done much other than keep things at the floor. Then again, how elevated should my mood be in these circumstances? I don't know. I just know I'm tired of living this shit. Not really looking for any affirmations or anything. I'm not even sure why I'm typing this out. I've got a wife and kids and a past with failed attempts at self-harm, so I'm not in any really danger of suicide or anyting of the sort. Just screaming into the digital void with a bunch of random folks I doubt I'll ever actually meet in this weird corner of the Internet. If you can find common ground with someone you hate, and you think that might be a valuable relationship, you might at least try. Politics are what they are today, less policy and more moral / social / cultural divides. I think my limited posting history lines up with that. The old man and I were never going to get back an eye-to-eye relationship, but there may have been something other than disdain in the end if I'd known there was more time. Not all hatchets are meant to be buried. But some are buried far too soon. Loss hurts more than you think. Even when you've convinced yourself you already "mourned their loss" years ago. Hope the world gets better for you folks in this thread. Nobody should have to live with this stuff. Getting up and dealing with it every day is tougher than most people know. That counts for something, even if you think it doesn't. tl:dr = "I ain't reading all that. I'm happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened."
  8. Man. Two redzone penalties, one with the ball on the 5 and one with the ball on the 8. No points. Oof.
  9. There's a Tom Herman feel to this second half for Boise.
  10. That 87 yard stat pad looks pretty big right now.
  11. Fucking hell UNLV. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
  12. Right? That run to open things up, only to punt it away. Rebels keep hope alive, even if only temporarily.
  13. Getting harder to discern the line between malice and ignorance with these types.
  14. That's a TD. Don't fuck this one up as well.
  15. This was basically the story floated to me by some of the small fish donors I know. Basically, Lebby leaving for Mississippi State soured Gabriel on staying in Norman. Oregon made an offer and OU couldn't compete so Gabriel said adios mofos. I assumed the opportunity to play for a legit title contender didn't hurt either. How much truth there is to it, I can't say it, other than they believed it without question. It does seem to drip with copium.
  16. Did one guy favorably compare aggy to the Japanese on Pearl Harbor Day?
  17. This guy has some very specific kinks.
  18. The President’s speech in Independence Day, but for animal rapists.
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