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SimkinsMan

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Everything posted by SimkinsMan

  1. It was mid-morning on a cold day in late February. As was his custom following a good night's sleep in an open field of grass, The Elk was seated at a well-appointed picnic table hard by the Brazos River, breaking his fast. Pausing to wipe barbecue sauce from his chin, The Elk told his strength and conditioning coach to superintend not just the physical makeup of their players, but also to work on the mental side of things. An Ivy League coach learns these things, and knows these things. "We need them to be tough and smart," The Elk said, while grazing on a well-lathered rack of ribs. He paused for a few moments to let these words of wisdom sink in, and to gobble three more ribs, before continuing. "The best teams adopt their coach's mindset," The Elk added, washing down his repast with a few fingers of Dewars. It was a well laid trap for his unsuspecting prey. The Elk would strengthen his herd, and trample all foes that coming fall. There was but one weakness in this plan. Tommy Moffitt had forgotten his hearing aids that morning, as he scrambled out of bed. And so, after being dismissed from his audience with The Elk, Moffitt repeated his new instructions over and over again that morning. "The best teams adopt their coach's midriff," Moffitt mumbled. "The best teams adopt their coach's midriff." He didn't understand why, but who was he to question the great Elk?
  2. FYI here was Dillon Gabriel last week:
  3. Yes, but the quarterback was Superman.
  4. I don't need to see any more Blue today.
  5. I believe ArmyBrat was the inspiration for this book and movie.
  6. Alas, that is a tale as old as time. Aggy always anoints a savior, bins him after the first bad game, and clamors for the next shiny thing on the bench. If history plays true to form, Weigman will transfer to some place like Oklahoma State next year and the Cowboys will beat Aggy in a future Alamo Bowl.
  7. The narrative shift from "our friends in College Station" over the last 12 months has been glorious. It has gone from Sark is a drunken bastard/TU cannot develop players to ... we need to spend every last AggyBuck on getting players like Texas has done. It has gone from Texas is overrated trash playing in a dumpster fire of a conference to ... ok Texas is pretty good but now that they're in the SEC their schedule is really weak. It has gone from We Run This State to ... Our Coach Is Fat. Don't mind me, I'm just over here enjoying the ride.
  8. It depends upon the efficiency with which you deploy your resources.
  9. Unreal how lucky the Texans got in dodging this bullet.
  10. The turnaround in the Texans roster over the last two years has been remarkable. When you watch that team last night, there were weapons all over the offensive side of the ball, and on defense there were big, fast playmakers flying around. It was impressive stuff. The penalties can be fixed.
  11. This is the first season he has played football, and after marinating for a couple of years he has the physical tools to be absolutely elite. Most DL recruits (outside of a few obvious ones, like the helmet shitter) are projection, and apparently those who do know shit are all in on the guy.
  12. Jimbo is tanned, rested, and ready.
  13. I'm good with that. TME works as shorthand for both Tickle Me Elko and Too Many Empanadas.
  14. So what's the end game for Prime and CU? The shit show we've seen recently is only going to get worse as Colorado's season ends up in the 4-8 to 6-6 range. His kids are only going to become more petulant, or injured, or both as the losses mount and the finger pointing continues. So how does Deion extricate himself from the Boulder mess at the end of this season, when his kids are gone? What does he do or say to salvage his reputation for leaving Colorado in tatters? I assume his plan was to trade up to a better job. But no sane AD at a comparable or better school will surely hire him now. So what is his next act?
  15. At this point the Heisman probably goes to the QB that wins on October 19.
  16. Sackson Arnold, amirite?
  17. lol action jackson with a clutch pick.
  18. Dropsy McFumbleFuck.
  19. The collective commenting on the LSU vs Nicholls game... It warms my cold, dark heart that we have, at a stroke, taken away the one thing these mouthbreathers used to most to beat their chests about: Their vaunted SEC affiliation and love of same. Texas joining the conference has just completely sucked that joy from them—often the only joy they could derive from college football from mid-October onward.
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