SimkinsMan

That is a salty bitch.

Prepare your anus for the Kenny Baker Supremacy Era.

The aggies seem to think EJ Smith is going to step up. In four years at Stanford he had a total of 550 rushing yards. They may be barking up the wrong tree.

Nahlin isn't quite the kiss of death on recruits as Geoff Ketchup, but he's pretty damn close.

Thought I would update these numbers three months later, with football season on the horizon. Note this is the average of the last 12 "livestreams" for each of the following three channels. If a stream was less than 6 hours old, it was excluded from the analysis. ON TEXAS FOOTBALL (55,500 subs) March 17: 4,640 views May 7: 6,430 views August 6: 7,030 views (+9 percent) INSIDE TEXAS (8,200 subs) March 17: 2,470 views May 7: 3,360 views August 2,780 views (-21 percent) ORANGEBLOODS (19,600 subs) March 17: 1,960 views May 7: 2,110 views August 6: 2,200 views (+4 percent) Probably the biggest change in the last three months is that On Texas Football is continuing to grow subscribers (adding 10,000 in the last three months, which is more than the total of Inside Texas). On Texas Football is emerging as the most widely watched vodcast (is that still a term?) in the Texas Football universe. We'll take another look at the numbers in the middle of football season, when viewership should be at an annual peak.

This will not end well. (For Hamm)

If you bothered to read the article, that's exactly what they did.

Look, I'm not going to become really skeered of Aggy until they start to get muscular forearms. If that happens, we're burnt toast, baby.

User name checks out.

Very disappointed, I must say, that their t-shirts don't say TWELVE MOM

Yormark and Weiser looking at this like ...

Wow, satexas nailed it except for step 8. For aggy, step 8 is: "As a good Ag: Fall in line, rally around the new coach, and browbeat all potbangers who don't get on board with the narrative that this was our guy all along."

If a guy with that signature can't get behind Saint Heef, what hope is there for the rest of Aggy fandom?

Super popular Italian singer. Here's one of his most famous songs.

This explanation, from an aggy, is more or less consistent with what I remember. Patel was the operator of this Ramada.

Honestly, it's a good day for aggy. They looooove to play the victim. They looooove to be aggrieved. They looooove to think that the evil SIPs and the SEC are conspiring against them. Now they get to bear this enormous grudge and grievance for the next two decades. They'll get off on that forever. This is the crucible by which the pure aggies are revealed and the frauds are exposed, and all that bullshit. Then there are the heroes. TexAgs guy who asked the question and what shot down by Schloss is Davy Crockett, defending the Alamo. He will not be forgotten. Looch knew the whole time but didn't say anything because he wanted to let the guys enjoy their national title run. He was close with Schloss, had the scoop, but wanted to let the aggies enjoy their moment. What a guy. So informed, but such a dyed-in-the-wool ag. Another hero.

You are not kidding about that time stamp. My goodness. Brauninger looks and speaks like the fat kid who just had his ice cream stolen by a bully. It's amazing.

I'd be shocked if Schloss does anything other than thank A&M for the opportunity, and praise his ballplayers.

It's fun to follow cult work its way through something that should be absolutely shattering to their self-perceived aura of exceptionalism. Aggy's rationalization within the last 24 hours seems to be: It's OK that he's going to our arch-rival Texas, because that's the nature of the game. But it's unconscionable that he lied to a reporter about leaving Texas A&M. That's what we really care about. It's not that he's spurning A&M for our biggest rival. It's that he misled us. The beauty of this deflection is that it allows them to compartmentalize the reality that Texas is a more desirable place for elite coaches, that Texas is daddy. It allows them to ignore the fact that they got punked in the most embarrassing way. With this rationalization, their baseball coach is not leaving because aggy is a second-class citizen in Texas that never wins championships, has dopey traditions, and shitty administrators. The real cause of Schloss' departure is that he's a lying motherfucker who deserves the cesspool of Austin. Aggy is elite. Schloss is scum. We'll kick his ass. It's glorious.

He's about 70 years old. People were carping about Sark having a young personnel director. Sark's response: "Alright bitches, how you like me now?"

Ffuck yeah!

For the record, Sark has now recruited: Ewers, Murphy, Manning, Owens, Lacey, and Bell. That's six four- and five-star ballers since January 2021. Here's how Texas did in the decade prior to Sark's arrival. 2010: Case McCoy, Connor Wood 2011: David Ash 2012: Connor Brewer, Jalen Overstreet 2013: Tyrone Swoopes (if you're a real masochist, go back and look at the entire 2013 class. Torbush) 2014: Jerrod Heard 2015: Kai Locksley, Matthew Merrick 2016: Shane Buechele 2017: Shane Ehlinger 2018: Casey Thompson, Cam Rising 2019: Roschon Johnson 2020: Hudson Card I mean, holy fucking shit, right?

Look, the Hermans can have the memes. We'll keep the great football coach. I think it's a fair trade.