Ignatius Reilly

is First Republic more or less Woke than SVB

Not with those tits

This happened to a family member of mine back in the 1990’s. He and his buddies had graduated from high school up in east texas, and over the summer, they decided to take a road trip because they could buy beer and party down there. Now you didn’t need a passport to cross the border in those days, remember, and it was quite common to see cars full of high schoolers headed down Matamoros way to get drunk and do things that teenagers do when they drink. So they loaded up my cousin’s Jeep Cherokee and headed south for a long weekend. He was headed off to college the next week—Centenary in Shreveport—so this was kind of their last hurrah. My aunt spoke to them last right before they crossed the border. They were grabbing some bottles of Clearly Canadian and gas before getting into the long line at the crossing. They assume the boys crossed the border fine, as the Mexican border guards had a record of my cousin’s Jeep being searched at the border. After that, things get disjointed. Witnesses placed all four of them at a donkey show around 7 pm. My cousin got up to ostensibly go to the baño, and told the boys he’d catch up to them down the street at a discotheque close to where they parked the hero. There’s no record of their whereabouts for the next two hours, but at 9:50 a bouncer at the discotheque reported seeing a man matching my cousin’s description acting extremely paranoid, darting from streetlight to streetlight, and making a great effort to stay out of dark corners. The bouncer said he was acting completely irrational, shedding his clothes, like he was having some sort of out of body experience. His friends, assuming he was sleeping it off in the Jeep, didn’t pay much attention at first. After a couple of hours, though, they decided to go look for Mark. When they got outside, they saw police lights—and a viscous green liquid seeping out of the driver’s open door. In the seat were the remnants of a large cocoon-like sac. When they approached the police, the officer was holding my cousin’s Centenary College hat. It was covered in the same green goo from the car. The policia asked Mark’s friends if they recognized the hat—of course they did, they insisted, he had gotten it just weeks before at orientation and he hadn’t been without it. The policia finally closed the case a few years ago after getting the lab results on the green substance. They weren’t sure where he went, but my cousin *wasn’t dead.* We couldn’t believe it. How could that be? The police weren’t sure. All they knew—all that science could tell them—was that he had *Matamorphosized.*

Have you taken your blood pressure recently

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Told you. Crab people

Crab people are masters of deception! They will take a true story--that Hunter Biden's laptop is real--and conflate it with a lie (by saying it contains *evidence* of a crime that does not exist), thereby making the statement "hunter's laptop is real" *true,* in the strictest interpretation and *disinformation* in the most liberal. This is one of the Crab Peoples' oldest tricks

to be clear I'm still talking about crab people

Typical from their kind

Dr. Loeb at Texas Orthopedics did my shoulder, and though I don't think he does knees, I would start with their practice. Dr Lutz did my foot there, too, but that was ages ago and I'm not sure he's still around. Very pleasant to work with. Aside from being cut open. Tons of offices north, surgery center on Seton Center right by the Costco.

sounds like something a crab person would say

Generally the mods here do a pretty good job, as much as one can while trying to keep politics from poisoning the rest of the high-level discourse that takes place here, and they should be commended for that. But who among us hasn't wondered how *their* motives affect the course of discussion on this site? After all, it is incredibly naive to think the people running this place have no agenda at all. We all know that, to the untrained eye, a crab person can pass for a non-crab person with impunity--unless a crab person is outed by another crab person, it is generally impossible to identify the crab people who live among us and therefore shape our discourse. It is more than remarkable, then, that we have very, very few threads here exposing the existence of said crab people, which begs the question: Are some of the mods here, in fact, crab people who are using their positions of power to control the discourse of non-crab (regular human) people, thus stifling any discussion of how our society has been infiltrated and how the institutions we used to trust have been usurped? I am certain this thread will be quickly removed--after all, the only way to quash the discussion about the hegemonic power the crab people have over previously-free men is to disallow discussion of the subject and disavow even the existence of crab people. Their infiltration of mainstream message board culture has ensured a long term feedback loop: posters make posts about how there are crab people among us > crab people in the ruling elite place their subordinates into positions of power > posts are removed > crab people remain in power unscathed. I believe it is important, at the very least, to insist that this site's moderators prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are not crab people. I am open to ideas on how this might be accomplished. At the very least I believe we should require each user and moderator to sign a legally-binding document stating that they are not, in fact, a crab person, under penalty of perjury as laid out in the Rome Statutes of 1966. though we know the crab people will lie--they are dirty liars first and foremost as it is part of their dna (read the study's and do your own research) we can use that legal framework against them once we find a non-crab person who can determine whether another person is a crab person or not. The technology is rapidly being enhanced, so crab people should be terrified--and my sources say they are. So i ask you now, moderators: It is time to prove to us you are not crab people, and if you cannot, you must be removed and quarantined so that you can no longer poison our thoughts, destroy our sacred institutions, and impregnate our fertile, blossoming daughters. What say you?

1 Have you run for city council yet 2 What size camel saddle will fit you

good, you have some time before they meet any lawyers

because maybe she can get her own lawyer if she's old then you don't have to worry about it