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dcbc

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by dcbc

  1. THIS. IS. AMAZING.
  2. Okay. Are they twins and that is a fractional age? Is one 18 and the other 67 but still just now graduating from high school? Or is one 18 and the other 17, i.e. 67 was a typo, and you want a cruise where everyone can drink, minors are permitted, but it's not a butt-wiping Disney Cruise? Or some combination of the above? Zero cruise experience here, but I am confused.
  3. 1943. Pack of condoms . . . for Frederick Trump.
  4. We certainly showed them.
  5. I'll probably write both and release them at the same time. Goodnight Goon has a nice ring to it. Or Goodnight Freedom. Goodnight to the Constitution (except 2A) while whispering, "Hush." Spinoff. A parody of Is you're Mama a Llama: Is Obama a Citizen (spoiler alert: He is). "Is Obama a citizen, I asked this douche, Don. Thank you for your attention to this matter, Don did respond."
  6. See You iN Two-Weeks
  7. I think about this every time I go sailing and tie this knot. Also, this Finally, Quinn once was a bond villain.
  8. Yep. I always remember it being a big deal growing up in Houston.
  9. Yeah, I thought that was him. He sort of hissed when he saw the camera. I wasn't aware he could be captured on video.
  10. Poor phrasing on my part. I mean, it's originally a Texas holiday! I'm not exactly offended by the concept of skeleton crew days though. State agencies serve the public and theoretically need to be open to some degree most days. We get a lot of holidays you probably don't think about. Should Juneteenth be a full-blown state holiday? Yes. But alas, it's not yet as far as state agencies are concerned. And not to put too fine of an exclamation mark on your post, but the day after MLK day (or within a couple of days), I get comp time for working on "Confederate Heroes Day." So yeah, I know the brand. I haven't found the button that lets' me reject comp time for that "holiday" yet.
  11. The other day I got a message saying we (State agency) were closed because the county building where are offices are is closed. Digging into it a bit, I realized that Emancipation Day is a "Skeleton Crew Holiday" for State agencies, i.e., office is supposed to be open and minimal staff is required. So if you take off, you don't use vacation time and if you show up you get comp time. That's fine, but I find it a bit weird that that Texas, the state in which Juneteenth originated and first was recognized, doesn't treat it as a full-blown holiday in state government.
  12. dcbc

    Burgers

    He was askin for it.
  13. The ice-maker in our freezer is on the blink (shocking). So we've had to start ice-picking it on the regular. I walked through the kitchen a minute ago, and my sixteen-year-old is making a hell of a mess of the job. Me: "You've got to chip at it. You wouldn't last five minutes in Minnesota, Wisconsin, or just north of town for the matter." Ridiculous thing for me to say, but I hope he remembers it somehow and mentions it at my wake.
  14. I think you still could whisper, "worldstar," into his ear in the the voice in which you read Goodnight Moon to your young kids (". . . the quiet old lady, who is whispering, "Hush"). edit: I'm off to write "Goodnight, Trump." It'll look like MAGA, but it will be some lib-snowflake propaganda baked in. Yes, I know they can't read. Damn.
  15. This whole presidency is WORLDSTAR!!! It's exhausting.
  16. dcbc

    High

    The John McCain move. That'd be far out, man. But alas, it ain't gonna happen.
  17. Quite literally, a cornucopia Dictionary Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more cor·nu·co·pi·a /ˌkôrn(y)əˈkōpēə/ noun noun: cornucopia; plural noun: cornucopias . . . . . . ; an abundant supply of good things of a specified kind. Edit: I wanted to photoshop a bag of Bugles coming out of that middle one, but I'm lazy.
  18. I'll almost always go for an "original" chip from pretty much any brand, but that doesn't mean I don't want the option of BBQ, Sour Cream & Onion, Salt & Vinegar, or sea salt and black pepper.
  19. Dammit. How did I fuck that Stephen King reference up with my sweet tooth? It's actually kind of funny as a combination fat joke, I guess.
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