Kurt Bowels

There are no experts. One of the biggest cons out there, in a lot fields, is the I have this piece of paper (degree), I'm now a fucking expert. There are no experts in evaluating coaches. And there are few true experts in any field.

Urban doesn't need an existing relationship in order to close a big fish, if he wants them. That's one of things that makes him so good. FIrst impressions and closing. And at this point, with his resume, he doesn't even need all that to close.

So, if Kelly comes to Texas, you think Mason is the favorite to be his DC?

Hidden footage of @closetojumping during his interview for the Texas job. He was asked to demonstrate proficiency in poop-a-scoop, in preparation for his duties caring for Bevo.

I'd give you a like, but apparently I'm a poors on this site.

BTW, love visiting Mexico. Cool culture, beautiful spots and hot senoritas.

They pop the crackers before and after every bleeping holiday, even Christmas. It's like living in a bullet-ridden, cartel run Mexican town every holiday season.

You live in a Mexican neighborhood?

Some German fuckup. Snorts coke like it's snow on Time Square at Christmastime. Oh, btw, did you ever get that Beretta and tape for Christmas?

Figures. Thanks

Who wrote this? Thanks

WTF is going on ITT? I come back from the worst Christmas torture since Jesus on a stake and what do I get? A whole bunch of creepy, freaky and nasty. Fisting, diarrhea, and nonsense that doesn't even make sense. Let's get something straight around here, no one can beat me at the mcnasty. Stop trying to replace me.

That thing to the left of that big fat vagina isn't an asshole. It appears to be some sort of herpes scar. I hope he used a dental dam.

That's Hope Solo you just munched on.

That's because Bad Santa got distracted by girls romancing themselves And delayed Christmas

I choose to believe the bigcigar. After all, he is the bigcigar. Sounds sourcy enough for me. One thing next time bigcigar: don't use "I believe." It is not bossy enough. It is not a declaration of fact. You are the bigcigar. Stick your big hairy fucking balls on the table like the rest of surly and tell us how smart you are. That is the way we do it here at The Surls. This is how we get all the wonderful things. Someone please pass this delicious piece of sourced info along to my secretary. I will be in later today to write a piece that millions will read. It will be written with tone and facts based on very highly classified sourced info. That's why I'm the go to guy. That's why I get all the wonderful things.

YOU LISTEN TO ME BUDDY When I get thru cleaning this: I'm grabbing my suitcases and heading down to Austin to fart on Mensa And then I'm leading Texas to the Promise Land and leaving LIttle Nicky in the dust of college football lore I WILL BE THE GREATEST!! I WILL BE THE GREATEST!!!

^^^can't edit: 10 +4 + 14 games That's one game more than 12 + 1 CCG the big boys play

Compared to the lower levels of college ball? Not much. That's never been a real issue, IMO, just total BS by the administrations to try and keep a playoff from happening (back in the day) 10 (regular season) + 3 (playoff games) = 13 games for the champion of the G5 before they go onto the P5 playoff The rest of the G5 not in the playoffs: 10 (regular season) + 2 more games after they are ranked. They are getting a seat at the big boy table for the first time in history. It's a step up for them. The winner will have been battle tested and earned the right to play at that point (if 2 losses or less) Just an idea to spur on some creativity. Something has to give. What is happening right now is not working at all. There is no more parity left in college ball. And the G5 has no chance either. The game isn't exciting anymore. Too many blowouts. Very few competitive games week-to-week.

My wife will not touch me. She will not sleep in the same bed of my presence. If it wasn't for my job with the rag paper, I'd have to be a midget pornstar. This is the only way I can get attention, hating on my alma mater (I cheated) from the bowels of my heart. I'm just a POS loser with calves wider than my 36x22 pants. I hate Jesus...Vince. I voted for Bush...Reggie. Please pray for me. Sincerely, your fiend: Kurt Bowels

Not a hard issue to solve. G5 starts one or two weeks earlier than the P5 (G5 at the middle to end of August and the P5 on Labor Day) G5 plays an 8 game conference schedule and two OOC G5 opponents. The 16 playoff seeds are announced. The non playoff teams will be ranked and will play two more games against similar ranked G5 teams (17 vs. 18, etc) The winner of the G5 championship doesn't get a week off and must face the #1 seed of the P5 the very next week The p5 already takes too many weeks off. It's been that way for generations. They won't take anymore time off, possibly less time off, with this setup.

Considering a sellout. The market sucks rn and the government over most of the past decade just always seems to be looking for a way to make it harder for the cattle industry to survive. Guess they want to import all our beef from Brazil as well. Maybe they'll come around and let China in at some point. It's especially difficult if you rely on a bunch of leases (and some of your own land). Not only the small margins (who's kidding, rn just straight up burning money), but the state will give property tax exemptions to just about anyone who want to claim it. In other words, the filthy rich are buying all the ranches in the hill country to "protect" their money and then kicking out ranchers but still getting exemptions though the wildlife department. We don't need more deer around here. There's already way fucking too many. My nephew has hit 4 deer on hwy 71 this year alone. You don't even have to feed the deer. One corporate exec is getting the exemption for putting up some pvc with holes in it and claiming to feed the birds. Yet, there's never even any feed in these handmade pvc "feeders". /rantover

If we are all being honest, if you take budgets, recruiting territory and ability, media footprint, marketability, etc., there's really only 30 to 32 teams capable of playing in the upper division. They should only play each other every week and then have a 6 or 8 team playoff at the end. No more games against easy competition. No more unfair schedules that favor certain schools in certain conferences. Let a commissioner set the schedules. Schools 33-85 or so can then play each other and have a 16 team playoff ( or something similar). Still some really entertaining programs in the new G5. A school that gets into the G5 playoffs and wins their championship with no more than 2 losses gets a spot in the power 5 national championship playoff. Let each "conference champ" + 2 or 3 at-large bids + G5 champ in the playoff. Keep basketball and the other sports with more regional conferences Here's a possible 32 team P5: Alabama Ohio State Oklahoma USC Notre Dame LSU Florida Florida State Texas Clemson Auburn Miami Georgia Michigan Penn State Oregon Tennessee UCLA Texas A&M Washington Nebraska Wisconsin UNC Virginia Tech Iowa Michigan State Missouri South Carolina Ole Miss Arkansas Utah Arizona State If you want to keep a few other teams to create four conferences of eleven or twelve teams, here's another list: Ohio State Michigan Penn State Tennessee Wisconsin Michigan State Missouri West Virginia Minnesota Illinois Notre Dame Florida State Clemson UNC Virginia Tech Miami Georgia Tech Rutger s Maryland UVA Alabama LSU Florida Auburn Georgia Texas A&M South Carolina Ole Miss NC State Arkansas Kentucky Oklahoma USC Texas Oregon Washington UCLA Iowa Oklahoma State Utah Nebraska Arizona State Texas Tech Colorado Iowa State Arizona BYU Stanford OR TCU

No more being the choir boys. We wear the stormtrooper whities, the greatest uniforms in all of sports. It is our destiny to bring balance back to the force. For far too long we've tried to be something we are not. For what? It was all a mirage by the enemy to sidetrack our potential for greatness. As Disney taught us, and it took us our entire childhoods to figure it out, Luke Skywalker and Jar Jar Binks, the rebels, the alliance, they are all nothing but a bunch of G-rated pussies. Besides Yoda. And the Mandalorian. Maybe Han Solo. Anyway, you get the drift. We all remember our 'aha!' moment. There is no good and bad. It is all a grey hodgepodge. There must be a balance in the force. A balance only we can bring to the universe. We will know when Urban is coming. It will be soon. I can feel it. We will know.