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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. Don’t look up
  2. That's 81.7 seconds for each guy. What, are they all 13 YOs doing it for the first time?
  3. goatse image here
  4. Cumming in my ex’s mouth.
  5. Yup. No brainer. Just give me the day off without trees, lights, gifts, Mariah Carey.
  6. That was my daughter her first year. We always had extra clothes and a pair of scissors. The scissors were just in case we said fuck it, we're not saving these clothes, and just cut them off of her. Then she got potty trained at 18 months and never had an accident ever since.
  7. Let’s follow the logic here… Augusta doesn’t want black or brown people. Trump is a piece of shit. Shit is brown. Ergo, Augusta doesn’t want Trump.
  8. Out of this group? John Daly is the most recognizable. John Voight also had a sweet mullet in Heat. Very business in the front.
  9. Superhero

    Getting old sucks

    Totally would have won the Long Walk.
  10. Can anyone confirm? Funniest comment:
  11. There's something floating around for sure. Four of my coworkers are out, but the kid who was sitting next to me the entire day is okay, so the others hopefully didn't get it from me.
  12. Caught whatever is going around in the air. My son was a bit sick in the way back from camping, and I hung out with him all of Sunday. Last night I felt the hand of God smacking me down. Body ache, plugged nose, headache, etc. etc. Second time in 2 months is way too often.
  13. Is it even possible to make Chick-fil-A fries taste shittier?
  14. Both true. Love her passion for her kids, and the love they have for her. What a great teacher.
  15. You would think. Except there were several women (and at least one guy) who didn't know anything about football and kept asking questions and/or making dumb statements. After watching the Eagles and Chiefs go 4 and out on their first drives, the guy told one of the women, "we already have 2 turnovers". The guy needed to turn in his man card.
  16. That too. But this one is on her.
  17. My sister texted last night, inviting us to her place to watch the superbowl. I was camping with my boy, so I texted my wife asking if she wanted to go. Her: I already have plans. Going to hang out with my sister and bake cookies. Me: Oh, I didn't know you already had plans. How come you didn't let me know? Her: I didn't think you were interested. Anyway, you can go to your sister's place. My boy and I get back from camping I went out to wash the car. When I got home, my wife and daughter were gone, and my son was hanging out watching TV. I called her. Me: Hey, where are you? Her: I'm at my sister's place. Me: So not only did you not tell me you had plans, but also don't tell me you're leaving and just leaving the boy here? Her: I didn't think you cared. You're over-reacting. 🤬 Is it just my wife, or are any of your wives just really really shitty at communicating?
  18. My dads group took our boys snow tubing over the weekend. One of the little boys, probably 4 years old, slid down and was picking up his tube when some shithead 18 year old ran him over, and the boy hit his head. Instead of apologizing, just start laughing. My friend went over to the shithead, and he got defensive, saying "it was an accident, chill out". Then flipped out, yelling at my friend saying "I'm a grown man, put your kid down and let's go motherfucker" All he had to do was say "oh shit, are you okay kid?" But he chose to be a low life shit and laugh about it. It's not worth our time to fight shitheads with nothing to lose but their pride. Hope he gets his comeuppance.
  19. Better than people who drives without their lights on. EVERY SINGLE EVENING when I drive home from work, there is at least one car that has no taillights on, and sometimes no headlights either. What is the etiquette to let someone know they are a moving hazard?
  20. Surprised Trump’s ICE didn’t fast track his citizenship process.
  21. Just watched Mississippi Burning for the umpteenth time. Gene Hackman was such a great actor. Too bad he stopped acting 10+ years ago.
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