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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. Kids catching the waves on their first day out. The last pic was right before my boy crashed into his sister.
  2. Forgot about the $ for these summer camps. My wife and I are able to afford these summer camps, but yeah, $200 for a week of tennis camp for 1/2 day (which is the CHEAPEST of the camps) starts to add up. Do the proletariat just let their kids go feral?
  3. Except if you have working parents, and they don't want you at home on your iPad all day, so they send you to various summer camps... As a parent, summer is a pain in the butt having to drop off / pick up the kids from different locations during the workday. During the school year, my kids walk to and from school by themselves. They disappear at 8 and re-appear at 3.
  4. Home sweet home to a bidet with much stronger water pressure. It actually cleans my butthole instead of just moistening my poop.
  5. Bitched about this before, and I'm sure I'll keep bitching until the day they take my license... When I change lanes, I get a good distance in front of the car on the next lane, turn on my blinkers for at least 5 seconds before I move over. And inevitably there will be someone who left a gap, and then try to accelerate and close the gap, then lay on the horn like I fucked their sister. Usually it's a smaller car and IDGAF because I have a larger SUV. But still really annoying.
  6. Is that video flipped? Or was it shot in England? And yeah, the motorcyclist is either dead, or want to be dead when he gets the bill. I never understood speeders who weaving in and out of traffic. A BMW almost almost hit me over the weekend. He probably got within 3 feet of me going 20+ miles over the speed limit. Idiot was racing an Audi.
  7. Yes she did that night. With the kids in the same room. We play with fire.
  8. Call us disgusting, but we wash ours maybe every 1.5 - 2 weeks. Separate load for all the towels throughout the house. A new towel for every shower just blows my mind. We don't live in a hotel.
  9. When I had a bad fall that knocked me out, ski patrol asked me what day it was, and I gave him a smart ass response: “I’m on vacation, who gives a shit what day it is” Then I was woozy for the next 24 hours. It was not fun and probably why I have seizures now.
  10. Getting back from vacation, I told my kids to hand over their school and personal iPads because they’ve had way too much screen time on the plane ride back. Son: Wait. You can’t take my school iPad yet. I have to check my work emails. Yeah, poor example that mom and dad set even though we were supposed to be on vacation.
  11. https://babylonbee.com/news/judge-determines-trump-will-get-the-nation-on-weekdays-while-musk-gets-every-other-weekend-and-holidays
  12. At the beach yesterday and 3 absolutely drop dead gorgeous blondes show up, perfect tans and wearing butt floss. My wife knew exactly I’d be looking and turned to me making sure I didn’t take pics to share with you pervs.
  13. These girls are perfect. They don’t need cheeseburgers.
  14. Take this to the parking douche baggery thread.
  15. Depends on how wide the line is… anything wider than 3” and my penis stays in only one state.
  16. Potential problem with doing it in space is ending up in the middle of the capsule with nothing to grab within reach. You will be in that position until the fellow astronauts come rescue you.
  17. ……………. Hey Jude
  18. The hotel we’re staying at has a bidet. It’s an older model and the water pressure can be better, but still light years better than wiping. One question I posed while taking a dump in Japan last year… does their TP suck because they have great bidets? Or because they have great bidets that their TP doesn’t have to be great? I had the same question as I was on the throne (in Hawaii). Because the TP in the hotel sucks.
  19. As much shit as AA deserves, at least they have more leg room than Hawaiian. I’m a little fella a 5’8” and my knees almost touched the seat in front of mine. Don’t know when they decided to add more rows. It wasn’t like this the past few times.
  20. I tried a VR driving game today and nearly threw up. 3 turns into the first lap, my brain started whispering “this is not gonna end well”. I kept driving because I paid money for this torture. Mid way through the last lap, I literally ripped off the goggles and wobbled off the seat. The whole room was spinning like I was beyond drunk The guys working there snickered, but told me about 60% of people have the same reaction.
  21. Yeah I suppose those screen holders are more for phones than iPads. But the fact that he didn’t apologize at all is what pissed me off. Let me see if I can find his glasses and take them with me.
  22. He asked my if I see his glass which fell under his seat. Maybe I’ll step on them on purpose I get off.
  23. On a flight to Hawaii. No screens so I prop my iPad on one of those screen holders. Fucker in front of my jerks his seat up and my iPad fell, spilling my drink all over my lap. He just asked if it spilled and didn’t even apologize. Should have poured the rest of my drink over his head.
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