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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. Changing topics. Taking dumps after a few days worth of Metamucil. I already feel 3 lbs lighter than on Saturday.
  2. You pay for the materials and labor and the answer is Maybe. My mom is here for 2.5 months and other than cooking for us, and spending time with my daughter (and to a lesser extent, my son), she's bored out of her skull.
  3. This one got me. Kenan Thompson being ignored was funny AF. Nate saying "Nobody knows" made me LOL.
  4. Me talking to daughter: The most common name in the world is Muhammad. Wife: Wow, there must be a lot of Indians.
  5. I had their hatch chili and cheese tamale for lunch and it was delicious.
  6. I can’t even afford the electricity bill to keep all those lights on.
  7. You know the GQP just looove to suck on small tubular things.
  8. With any hope / common sense / whatever, he will be president one day.
  9. Shitty post, but irregardless, why am I the one who has to do this? 1,2,3,6 ?,7,4,5 Surly is slipping.
  10. Putting a new screen protector on my mom’s iPad without a single bubble. I paid the price of getting a speck of glass from the original screen protector, but still… NO. AIR. BUBBLES.
  11. The only path to Pete being a candidate is for him to be someone’s VP first. After he has visibility and hopefully people getting used to the ideas of a gay politician (ladybug excluded), hopefully people will see he’s smart as shit and will do the right thing for America.
  12. Well fuck me. I have a piece of glass in eye. I was replacing the protective glass on my daughter’s iPad. It wouldn’t lift off, so I used a small blade to get under the edge. A tiny sliver shot into my eye. I’ve rinsed out my eye several times, used eyedrops to no avail. I might cut up an onion and wear it as an eyepatch for the rest of the evening. Wear protective eyewear y’all.
  13. I don’t understand the obsession with anal sex. I’ve tried it before and I had trouble sitting for a week. Just joking. I did it a couple times with my ex and I’d rather have boring old pussy.
  14. You have a wife?!?! No I’m being serious. Seeing your food posts in the Food & Travel board, I thought you were a bachelor with milk cartons for furniture. * mind blown *
  15. Went to In-n-Out to get lunch. 3 cars in front of me at 11:30 is a near record. Then the damn lady in front of me decides to pay with handfuls of coins, and CC for the balance. I saw the cashier sweeping the coins into the cash register and I swear there must have been over 30 pennies there. Yes I know money is money. But take that to a Coin Star machine instead of taking 5 minutes in a drive-thru lane.
  16. This sow has tits. I bet her could really make her squeal.
  17. I'll let her know someone from the internet is checking out her melons. I'll let you know if she's flattered.
  18. I thought my dad at 34 was old when I was born. I was 37 and 40 when my 2 kids were born, respectively. With almost white hair, people already think I’m their grandfather. I’m gonna look even more grandfatherly when I go to their life’s milestone events.
  19. I refuse to watch regular MMA, but I’d watch that.
  20. I prefer pilots who don't get shot down 3 times. Just joking. Thank your dad for his service, and I'm glad that he survived all those non-'splosions, and was able to bang your mom to have you.
  21. You'll never know unless you ask. Ask her and report back.
  22. My mom and daughter making dumplings for dinner. My parents come once a year from Taiwan, and it's precious time for me and the kids to spend with them. My dad is 83 and in good health, but you never know when they might get sick, so every minute making dumplings, going for walks, playing board games is cherished.
  23. Maybe, but their in-person service is personable and will hit on your wife.
  24. The thin mint flavored ones are like crack cocaine to me. OTOH, my kids bought a pack of he sour patch kid oreos. They are gross.
  25. Trump’s team getting him mostly out of the spotlight after the debate was good strategy. Let the country talk about how unelectable Biden is, and not how crazy Trump is. I have my thoughts about the assassination attempt which I won’t share, but I’m sure many here will agree with my thought. But I think this will bring the spotlight back onto Trump and he won’t be able to not say some crazy shit that’s gonna turn off the people in the middle who haven’t already made of their minds.
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