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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. Skip to 1:29.
  2. That was a great movie and Vera Farmiga has a GREAT ASS.
  3. Depends… how old are you and how long do you want to live?
  4. 30 seconds of your life is too much to ask?
  5. What are you bladdering about?
  6. Charlize Theron in her Monster make-up.
  7. You need to eat the apostrophe before it burst, because it could cause peritonitis. That's what the Malaysian fisherman once told me.
  8. Who do you have cutting out kneecap's from unsuspecting people? I would love to grow my network of doctor's.
  9. They can just draft, send meat waves of able bodied men, female convicts, grandparents, and eventually kids. Fewer people, less demand on resources. In CA, we can at least blame all the Teslas being charged between 4-9PM. The mandate to ban the sale of passenger cars, trucks and vans by 2035 is going to be a clusterfuck. No way we're going to be ready.
  10. Strongly worded letter!
  11. How dare you? How DARE YOU?
  12. I had a pest control guy come remove 12 nests. Not sure what he used, but it was pretty damn effective. He also climbed to reach most of the roof eaves which is something I wouldn't do. So best $250 I've spent lately.
  13. Not sure where to put this, but former Oklahoma senator Jim Inhofe has gone to see Beelzebub. Granted he's a former senator, but he still supported Trump so that makes him a piece of shit. https://apnews.com/article/republican-senator-jim-inhofe-obit-2a3ac758737845c0aa2e05ae2036005b Does Biden have anything to do with this? Maybe, maybe not, go fuck yourself Jim Inhofe.
  14. It's all fun and games until granny burns or stabs herself.
  15. That, and where am I going to put my box of wet wipes?
  16. My belt lines up with one of my shirt buttons, which guarantees the fabric above the aforementioned button and the button above will tent out when sitting down or even if I’m not standing completely straight. I wear an undershirt just so people won’t see my belly button.
  17. Hopefully she'll pick Pete as her VP. Young, energetic, patriotic, and highly intelligent. Maybe by the time it's his time to run, people will be able to look past his sexual orientation. (Off tangent, and yes, I'm a fan of the Oxford comma)
  18. Still better than meetings scheduled between 12 - 1PM. If it's an in-person meeting, you better buy me lunch.
  19. You know I thought this was a joke until I we had a temp receptionist who was vegan. Every friendly conversation on Monday started with me "yada yada, how was your weekend?". Followed by "It was great, we went up to LA to try this vegan restaurant". At that point, I would say "great" and go get my coffee and not talk to her until the following week.
  20. My bidet is in the guest bath downstairs because there’s a plug there. My parents are staying with us for the next few weeks, and out of respect for them, I’m trying to keep the guest bath “theirs”. But I took a dump this afternoon and spent a better part of 5 minutes wiping and wiping and still poop. I love my parents, but they need to GTFO of my house.
  21. A few from last night… Went to a Blink182 concert at SoFi stadium last night. I don’t know their music, and frankly didn’t want to go, but wife’s friend gave her tickets in a suite, so I went as her driver. I don’t like Blink182. We agreed leave early to avoid traffic. We also agreed to drive her friend’s friend home. She remembers as we were walking to the car that her bag was checked in on the other side of the stadium. So my wife went with her. I thought it would be a great idea to loop around and get them (unforced error here). After the event, they closed streets and left turn lanes, so I ended up in traffic for the next hour to get to where I was going to pick them up. A while hour. We didn’t get home until 1:15. Im exhausted.
  22. I say kneecap's. Because if someone falls down while rollerskating and shatters there kneecap's. They'll want replacements. Kneecap's are easy to remove. Just lift the skin, and cut out with a knife even a kid from Senegal can do the operation for $5 and you can have Neikea sell in on ebay for $200 or more.
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