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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. Paging Mr. @Gatorubet Mr. Gatorubet please pick up the white courtesy phone.
  2. Also a little of Samuel Jackson /allblackpeoplelookthesame
  3. I’d rather eat In-n-Out fries (well done of course) before I pick up a Chik Fil-A waffle sadness.
  4. I was in the drive-thru lane of an In-n-Out when the person in front of me paid in coins. Poor cashier was counting coins for about 3 minutes while everyone's fries got cold.
  5. Happens to the best of us. My appliance repair man tore apart my washing machine and found one of those as well.
  6. Coin meters? WTF are coins? I don't remember the last time I had coins in my pocket or in my car. Whatever pennies in my coin jar were used for target practice with my air rifle.
  7. Unless you're leaving your apartment at 11:52 because you forgot to return the tape and are hustling to avoid the late charge.
  8. I prefer using an app to pay for a parking spot instead having to pay at a machine and walk back to my car with a ticket. I don't mind the steps, but it's a whole lot easier to add time without having to go back.
  9. I booked an Airbnb for this weekend so my parents, sister’s family and my family can hang out under one roof for a few days. My parents are visiting from Taiwan. My dad is going on 85 and is still in good shape, but he is slowing down a bit. Not sure if they’re going to keep visiting every year, so it’ll be nice to just hang out with the parents and their grandkids.
  10. Pink starfish? Must’ve gotten it bleached.
  11. It's the markers (or lack thereof) at the 3, 6 and 9 that kills it for me.
  12. Is it a female or male patient? Because I can make an exception for a good looking patient with XX chromosomes. Also, I may or may not be a doctor. I'm asian, so there're a 33% chance you'll guess right.
  13. Wife called me at work on Friday. She usually texts, so a call means it’s something serious. Her: OMG. My tire pressure was low so I went to the gas station, and instead of pumping air into the tire, the air all leaked out and my tire is flat now. Me: I’m in a meeting, can you ask the gas station attendant to help? Her: I did, and I followed his instructions and that’s why my tire is flat now. I’m afraid to do anything because is I don’t want my tire to get even more flat. Me: I can go get you, but it’s gonna take me at least 30 minutes to get there. Can you ask someone else? I don’t hear from her for a few minutes and my daughter texts me.
  14. Don’t text me because I’m not going to respond while I’m getting pounded by Dwayne and his 6 friend.
  15. Those eyes… a little crazy. But you do you.
  16. When it comes to shitty situations, bidet is always the answer.
  17. Reminds me of @Gatorubet “ I’ve got a lighter... I want us to die!!”
  18. Kelly Bundy. Easily the hottest of the bunch, and you know she’ll put out.
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