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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. I’m sure the feeling was mutual. Speaking of lack of / no apologies, we were going to her brother’s house for Chinese New Year dinner yesterday. She yelled at the kids to get ready and that she was leaving. I went to take a piss and I hear the garage door go up and down. She left without me. Her excuse was “you usually drive separately because you just want to leave afterwards.” Never mind the fact that I “usually drive separately” is because I go over straight from work. I ended up going to dinner with my sister and BIL instead. She knows I’m pissed. Her entire family knows I’m pissed. Her entire family told her she was in the wrong. I’m not waiting for an apology because it’ll never come.
  2. I call bullshit. Women don’t apologize.
  3. More scared than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
  4. Audio books that don’t have digital bookmarks. I’m listening to Stephen King’s Insomnia. I am on minute 836 with another 703 minutes to go. Most audio books will let you navigate to particular chapters. Some are just moronic.
  5. In Irvine, there are 2 MacArthur & Main intersections within a mile of each other...
  6. Well well, look who's back to her old ways.
  7. Entered into the volatile world of NVDA. I've never bought only 7 shares of something. The previous low was when I bought 45 shares of META.
  8. What do you call an orphan's selfie?
  9. You rang?
  10. To add to traffic talk. Driving in LA in the rain and dark is an absolute shit show. The freeway striping is faint, and the reflective markers are almost non-existent. I’m surprised there haven’t been more accidents with the amount of rain we’ve gotten the past 4 days.
  11. Can’t get worse than this
  12. When my daughter was selling cookies, I put a sign in the office break room with QR code that went to a google form which had my Venmo account. I had her deliver the cookies, but why sell cubicle to cubicle when you can use technology?
  13. He never said she didn't cut off his arms... Maybe he's typing with a stick between his teeth.
  14. First half of course.
  15. Robert Deniro, Joe Pesci and Sharon Stone. I would like Sharon Stone to “help me with this”. Sharon Stone in Casino is peak hotness.
  16. Superhero

    Getting old sucks

    I’m misplacing / losing a lot of things lately… My umbrella a few weeks ago. It seems like I’m looking for my AirPods every other day. I’ve lost 2 small pocket knives, and I’ve been looking for my car key since yesterday… Some of it is just carelessness, but something something Alzheimer’s.
  17. Wrench Y’alls’ moms were too soft on you and it shows.
  18. Or Ikea shopping carts that have 4 swiveling wheels. Seems like I spend 95% of my energy keeping it going straight, and the remaining making it go forward.
  19. Junior will cremate and sell his ashes to MAGAts and use it to buy cocaine.
  20. Peak Sharon Stone. Basic Instinct or Casino?
  21. Not going to quote the pic again. But that cameltoe is bigger than an actual camel’s toe.
  22. I go camping at Joshua Tree with the dad / daughter group. The bathroom is a large outhouse. Smells like an outhouse, but messier, because little girls are messy. The worst place I took a shit was outside of Kirby Lane Cafe on January 1st 1998. I probably had a stomach flu. I went outside to fart and promptly shit down my pant leg. It was the last time I sharted until last December.
  23. Or an Asian toilet.
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