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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. Spray cheese is one of those few things where the name brand is worth it.
  2. Brisketexan

    Austin FC

    Sold ours. At ACL instead. T Pain has only 6 fewer MLS goals than Uzuni this year.
  3. T Stain Skid n Play Li’l Stain
  4. At ACL. Apparently, they have live shrimp, if you’re looking. @Pescado_Rojo thinks it’s more likely that it smells like fresh dead. With patchouli and weed added as attractant.
  5. This one is legit sad. We regularly exchange small gifts with friend overseas. Our kids will send things to us. No more. In terms of sending items from overseas to the US, it’s as if we’re in another planet. Just
nothing. We still send things to them, but FROM them? The only way it comes here is if someone carries it. Daughter is buying me a T-shirt from her new grad school. She’ll just bring it to me at Christmas. It’s such a dumb and pointless thing, but that’s the hallmark of this admin, isn’t it?
  6. Oh. No discipline. Great.
  7. I mean
I used the past tense.
  8. Genius play calls needing long yardage. We have no confidence in anyone, and for good reason.
  9. Shooting our selves in the foot. Constantly.
  10. Holy shit, we can’t stop shooting ourselves in the foot already.
  11. It’s an openly criminal regime. And not only do his fans not care
they LIKE IT. Because being able to openly flout the law is the ultimate display of power - the “wadda ya gonna do about it?” ethos. And that’s what they like, because at heart, they’re all loser bullies. @Enchubben will deny it, but his loyalties betray him.
  12. If you never had a drunken feast of 5 for 5 Arby’s sammiches on the coupon deal slathered in two kinds of sauce, did you really live?
  13. Nope. Did have a Greek buddy in high school. Dinner at his house was epic. And yeah, there was ouzo.
  14. Wait
the Repubs say “Dems, fold now, we’ll negotiate about healthcare coverage later.” Then they tell you “we ain’t gonna negotiate shit.” Huh. Way to give up your play.
  15. The boy had to use a German ER last year (he was sick, and had some troubling symptoms - we said quit fucking around, you need to go to an ER). He resisted, didn’t want to wait 4 hours, all that shit. But he went. And called us 20 minutes later from home. He’d walked to the hospital, walked right in, was ushered to a Dr immediately, she looked at him, said “yeah, you’ve got this viral thing that’s going around. You’ve had it 3 days? You’ll feel better tomorrow. Go home and drink hot tea and rest.” (Very fucking German medical advice. They think a goddamn lemon extract treats everything). She was right. He was fine. The visit was free. The wait was zero. Bette than the UK and Canada, from our experience.
  16. Two motherfucking fantastic tunes.
  17. So
story. Young attorney Brisket was having a whiskey with old mentor attorney. We got to talking cool obituaries, and how neither of us was likely to accomplish anything meaningful enough to make for a cool obituary. Our only shot would be to try for the “beloved local character/eccentric” angle. But how? What’s something you could do, and be known for, so it would be noteworthy in a good way. I’ve got it. I’m gonna go to the bank and get $100 in $2 bills, and I’m going to pay for EVERYTHING with $2 bills. So when I die, they’ll say “local eccentric two dollar Brisket passes away.” We decide this is brilliant. I get the money first thing the next day. We go to lunch, I peel off some of my twos to pay. The waiter says “huh, been to the Yellow Rose?” We’re a bit puzzled. “Yeah, when they give you change, they give you $2s so you’ll tip more.” “No, I haven’t been to the Rose.” Next day, we go grab drinks after work. To pay, I peel off some of my twos
.”huh, been to the Rose have you?” Goddammit. I wanted to be “beloved local eccentric two dollar Brisket,” not “skeezy strip club Brisket.” The plan was quickly abandoned.
  18. 100% She has a goal. She will do what it takes to achieve that goal. It's about the goal, not about her. I remember years ago, relating a story of a pre-trial event to my wife (the judge went off on me, it was performative, I happened to be the lawyer up front when the judge decided it was time for the message. I took my berating, and then used it to my advantage. And no, I didn't do a damned thing wrong and didn't deserve it, it was just time for the judge to do that). My wife was outraged, she said she'd have told the judge off, etc. I laughed. I reminded her that I had one job: achieve a good result FOR MY CLIENT. If letting the judge call me a piece of shit 10X a day gets me across the finish line with a win, fuckin' a, print me a name tag that says "piece of shit." Oh, and it worked -- judge and I had an understanding after that, and things went quite well. Rational, strategic adults think that way. It ain't about her, it's about her goal.
  19. Continuing over-the-top violations of the Hatch Act. From the party of "law and order." What a fucking joke. And all of the "WE HAFTA ENFORCE OUR LAWS!" types around here will be 100% fine with this because, of course, it has never, ever, EVER been about the Rule of Law. It has only been about Wilhoit's law: Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect. Republicans get to use "the law" to brutalize whoever they want. But they never, not even in the slightest, need to follow the law. Republicans don't believe in the law. They just believe in being fucking assholes.
  20. She's playing her cards. You are the leader of the Venezuelan opposition. You don't have the resources to depose Maduro. There is mercurial, childish man with a fragile ego to your north who has AMPLE resources to assist your cause. And he fucking LOVES him some flattery. Shit, talk about how his brilliant handling of Venezuela thus far is surely a sign that he is a capable and impressive lover, whatever it takes. Play the cards you've got, and "play to Trump's ego" is a big fat Ace.
  21. "Enlarged to show texture".....a decent pitch for bocadillos para perros, but a TERRIBLE tag line for porn.
  22. If their name is Charlize Theron, the Brisketexan Policy of She Can have Asylum at my House is in full effect. It was in an executive order, I'm sure of it.
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