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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. Peter Pan ingredients: ROASTED PEANUTS, SUGAR, LESS THAN 2% OF: HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OIL (RAPESEED AND COTTONSEED), SALT. Mmmmmmmm.........rapeseed oil......that's how you KNOW it's good.
  2. Good sir, I am a patriotic American. "Added salt, sugar, and other crap" = deliciousness. I bet you hate Twinkies, you fuckin' commie! You know what else is just peanuts? Peanuts. Just grab a handful, and skip the mashing part. Otherwise, I want me some ingredients that a chemist has a hard time pronouncing, that's how you know it's good!
  3. I was adorable. Got whomped with the ugly stick in middle school.
  4. Yeah....there was 16 acres of open land, backing up to a bayou, behind my childhood home. We never fenced our backyard, so the whole thing was "my backyard." I was wandering freely there by age 6 or 7. My mother had a bell on the back porch she could ring loudly enough that I could hear it no matter where I was. That was enough "parental supervision" for us both to be comfortable. Every now and then, I did something stupid and got hurt and had to limp a long way back home, bleeding/stung/covered in mud, whatever. Tough shit, that's what I had to do. And yeah, was riding my bike all over the neighborhood by the time I was 8. I'ma go full Gen-X here and lament that we are a nation of soft wussies.
  5. No lie....take that burrito, and crisp it in a pan. Then, top with store brand canned enchilada sauce of your choice, and shredded cheddar cheese. Like so: A glorious cheap-ass meal. Again....L-I-V-I-N. I will never turn down a lunch like that. I'd eat that with the gotdamn queen in attendance.
  6. Well, of course they're not tied to me. I use a VPN and a burner gmail for all of my sex site stuff. Duh. You think I'm some sort of amateur?
  7. Either of those two is an even-money pick. I'm dead serious. And that's only because recent years of TV schedules have been light on charismatic lawyer characters. If Boston Legal was still on, there's a 98% chance he'd have nominated James Spader for AG.
  8. One of my favorite bits of enshittening is how every fucking place on earth has its own app. If I stop on the road to buy a coffee at Ed's Coffee Shop and Art Studio or whatever the fuck, when I go to check out, they want me to pay with their app, download their app, etc. FFS, I probably do business with several hundred companies/businesses over the course of the year. I have at least 5 fucking airline apps alone on my phone, because you pretty much HAVE to have an airline's app to get your boarding pass and such. Add every coffee and sandwich and dry cleaners and hardware store and grocery store and auto repair and clothing and barbershop and fucking everything else, and my phone would have 300 fucking apps on it. Fuck that fucking shit. Let me come into your establishment. Let me pay money for your product, which you then give to me. Don't penalize me for not downloading your motherfucking app. Or if you're Schlotzky's, apparently....don't penalize me FOR downloading your motherfucking app. Everyone on earth doesn't need an app. Just like we don't need 98 different streaming services. We don't need monopolies, but we also don't need to make everything more complicated. If you used to be able to place an order at place X, and then pay money, and then receive what you ordered, that was literally two points of possible failure. Now, I have to do it online, where it requires me to enter all kinds of shit, my one-time code, etc. etc., introducing MULTIPLE points of failure so my order doesn't go through or some shit like that. Someone decided that introducing MORE points of failure was a great idea, and everyone ran with it.
  9. I love it. "Imagine each week as they talk about a shocking new piece of waste they found!"* * And further imagine that it will be a story like how Imogene Martin, assistant manager of the Dubuque office of HUD, overorders printer paper to the tune of an extra $50 a month......reflecting a .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% impact on the federal budget. This is so. Fucking. Dumb. Politicians have run on "I will eliminate fraud, waste, and abuse!" for DECADES......and then when they get into office, they realize that "fraud, waste, and abuse" account for a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a scintilla of a fraction of our total budget. Sure, eliminate them. It has the same effect on the federal budget as Brisket's decree to no longer purchase name-brand breakfast cereal has on his household budget (see said fraction of fraction etc.).
  10. There is. It’s called “much of the rest of the planet.” We don’t air that show here.
  11. So...y'all really haven't figured out how this goes, have you? Incompetent leadership at the top is not really an issue. They only need to do two things: 1) be fiercely loyal to Dear Leader, and 2) wield the club of threats/retribution against anyone who opposes the regime. By doing that, they will get the corporate class to do all of the dirty work for them. The Nazis didn't do much of the work to make Germany a horror show. German industrialists did. Eager to protect their wealth and position, when the regime threatened them, they chose to get on board with the regime's plan. They happily used slave/prisoner labor, they built chemical factories for the purpose of manufacturing chemicals used for extermination, they provided financing for the construction of big public works projects...including death camps, etc. The Trump regime will threaten American corporate interests if they don't do exactly what the regime says. And history tells us those corporate interests will get in line, and will operate as arms of the regime, doing its will and its bidding. And American corporate interests? Well, they get shit DONE. Want to build a death camp, and you're willing to shove a mountain of tax dollars at a contractor to do it? You're gonna get your death camp, and pronto. Trump and his flunkies aren't the major threat. The collaborators are.
  12. Most did not. They were bare, concrete picnic tables, baking in the brutal west/south Texas sun. But a handful of them had the luxurious touch of shade. And my road-warrior father knew where they were. "I'm hungry." "We're not stopping for another 30 minutes, when we get to the rest stop with the nice setup." BTW, bathrooms were not on the agenda. You went and pissed behind a bush. If mom really had to piss, our job was to scope out 1) some bushes that provided some privacy, and 2) check REALLY WELL for rattlesnakes, so she'd have a safe place to go. L-I-V-I-N. If I was lucky, we were heading to visit my grandparents when they lived in Sonora, then Midland. I'd get me some sorta sugary cereal at the grocery as my treat for the week. Breakfast at the table at either their mobile home (Sonora) or dinky apartment (Midland) - sugary cereal and OJ out of a glass made in 1940.
  13. Apparently, being a shameless serial sexual predator is a pretty strong point in your favor. Pussies are for grabbing, and shoving cigars into, apparently. America: that's how we roll. I'd say "sorry, ladies".....but enough women enthusiastically vote for that stuff that....yeah, I can't figure it out either. Same reason I could never figure out how some gals I knew kept running from one abusive relationship to another. But that's what they did, without fail. So, we need an old white dude who is a sexual predator, and a good huckster with little regard for the truth. That's how you win two terms in the White House. The black dude? What an anomaly. And he broke our brains anyway.
  14. 100% this. I wish that wasn't true. Because Clinton is and always was loathsome. But man, did people love him. For similar reasons as Trump (vibes). That's what it takes to win a presidential election in the US. It's just the way it is. We are a shitty people, so we insist on electing mostly shitty people.
  15. They probably are. Guyger didn't appear (obviously) and she wasn't even represented by counsel (she surely can't afford a lawyer). So, this was a "trial" against an opponent that had already forfeited. The plaintiff just had to put on evidence sufficient to get the damages awarded.
  16. Is there ANYTHING that makes the heart beat as excitedly as the found treasure of a gem in the "reduced for quick sale" section? I doubt it.
  17. Man....Jenny Agutter was "make your knees wobble" beautiful.
  18. Nope. Tacos are served hot. Sandwiches are cold. As Mexicans, we fancied things up the other way - road trips were low brow affairs. But when we drove down to spend Saturday at East Beach with all the other Mexicans? We brought marinated meat, tortillas, a small Weber, charcoal, and grilled and had delicious carne asada tacos right off the fire. We was livin’ LARGE.
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