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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. Gotta read the fine print: * NONE OF THIS APPLIES TO YOU UNDER A LAWLESS, FASCIST REGIME.
  2. I am confident that Dr. Surly opined that heavy smoking, drinking lots of good bourbon, habitual masturbation, and yelling at your TV when Burt Auburn misses another goddamned FG are solid preventative measures against Covid. And who am I to argue with a doctor? I TRUST THE SCIENCE!
  3. He's not even good at math. Our budget is around $7 trillion. 10% would be $700 billion. And also, yeah....that's just fucking insane. With zero basis in reality. Elon Musk has already stolen over $4 trillion from the US taxpayers (I mean, since we can say anything we want without it needing to be remotely true, that's what I say. Let's make it go viral. Demand that the DOJ investigate Elon's theft of $4 trillion taxpayer dollars).
  4. I could buy a British pound for $1.22 the day before TFG was inaugurated. Today, it costs me $1.29 to buy that same GBP. A nice 6% hit to my personal wallet. Fucking awesome. There's literally nothing that Trumpists can't be wildly wrong about. They manage to be stupid fucks about fucking EVERY POSSIBLE SUBJECT.
  5. FIF more realistic benchmarks.
  6. The US is truly unifying the western world, and is unifying the positions of the people within those countries. Unfortunately, what is unifying them is their opposition to and hatred of the US. Nothing draws folks together like a common enemy. And that common enemy is....us. Jesus monkeyfuck, the fucking stupidity. That would be the balls thing to do....but he's also a leader who is going to do what it takes to pursue his country's interests, not take the impetuous and juvenile path. I know, that seems completely alien to those of us who live in Trumpistan, but there you are.
  7. Sounds like you and I need to go out and have a few beers.
  8. Did they cyberattack his botched penile implant too?
  9. Every single one of our allies would be insane NOT to pursue that course of action: complete and totally decoupling from the US defense industry. First, if the US (and by "the US," I mean our current mercurial, psychotic administration) at all disagrees with your use of a weapon/platform....the US will disable it. Second, there is no a non-zero chance, which is rising rapidly, that one or more of our former allies will end up in actual defensive combat operations against the US. It's a terrible idea to be in a situation where your enemy can turn off your defensive weapons as the battle begins. The only smart move for Europe is to decouple not 50%, not 90%, but 100% from US defense systems. F-35s are a stupid, stupid buy. Because yep, it doesn't matter how good it is if you can't even get it up in the air when you need it. Think the folks at Lockheed and Raytheon don't see this writing on the wall? Think there isn't massive pants-shitting happening in their business offices? And.....think they are viable if they have no buyers other than the US? We are on track to completely neuter our domestic defense industry. Fucking brilliant. France, Sweden, the UK, and Germany 'bout to make some MONEY. At our expense. "America First" my ass.
  10. My wife is pretty firm on "fuck doing our taxes on time this year." As we usually owe some, she says fuck sending this regime any money, ESPECIALLY when they simply may end up not bothering to collect it.
  11. Yeah, but the "Y" means "year" to date, so that's not so bad on.....oh....March 10th. Yeah, that's pretty impressive.
  12. We had a long lunch with some of my Mexican family this weekend (a branch that lives mostly in Guadalajara, and bitches about that city). My wife and I mentioned that I was looking into my options for Mexican residency/citizenship, as we were discussing our current US shitshow. At first, they were puzzled, but then....
  13. That sucks. It's performance fell 86% short of where it should have ended up. Society's collective mission should be to bankrupt and completely destroy Elon Musk.
  14. If you are a car insurer.....are you contemplating halting all insurance of a "car" that has now been turned into a hated political statement? If you are a Tesla stockholder who realizes that the entire value of the brand is "Elon," and the odds of Elon being assassinated keep shooting up.....are you unloading that stock? Indeed, there are only two things that can happen with Elon, and both of them are bad for Tesla at anything close to its current stock price: Elon keeps on keeping on, further tanking the price. OR....Elon dies, thus taking away the only thing that makes Tesla unique and thus valuable. But....have no fear. The US government will 100% bail him out. All future vehicle contracts will mandate "Teslas only." The US government will reward Tesla with government contracts to....manufacture typewriters or some shit, it doesn't matter what it is, it just matters that the checks are cashed by Elon. The US government will buy Tesla stock to prop up the price. ETC. It's a full-on kleptocracy, and Elon is leading the charge, while claiming he's saving us a shitload by changing the brand of coffee the government buys. And the idiots eat it up.
  15. Way to set yourself up for a home invasion robbery. You might as well have bragged about the chair in your living room made of gold bars.
  16. That scenario is 100% on the table. Americans need to decide who they are loyal to -- the Republic, or the Trump regime. Because those two interests have a real, material chance of being in a shooting war against each other sooner than anyone would like to think.
  17. Then just root for more tornadoes to even out the voting pools.
  18. Oh, I forgot to add.....my long-term plan is to wait until Trumpworld collapses into full-on bankruptcy, then I will buy his corpse out of the bankruptcy estate, install it in a blue state in a way that it is surrounded by both urinals and private stalls (for the ladies), each of which drains directly onto his corpse, where I will charge people $100 for the privilege of pissing on Trump. Then, I'll have the kind of money that would make Elon Musk jealous.
  19. Yeah, dude....there's 100% overlap.
  20. Good. Tornado alley is solidly Trump country. When the leopard of mother nature eats some of their faces, without any of the warning that a functioning weather science system used to provide......that will be good for society as a whole. They want people to suffer by a massive cessation of government services. They think that everyone who benefits from government services is "welfare queens" (and we all know what color those welfare queens are). Turns out, people who depend on weather warnings to survive are also "welfare queens." Guess they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get their own radar and communications connectivity. Fucking leeches.
  21. Dude....they are 100% going to pull a "Lenin's tomb." They'll pickle Il Douche's body, put it inside some elaborate gold (plated) viewing box, install it at Mar-A-Lago, and charge cultists $50 a head to come see it. And then they must exit through a labyrinth of a gift shop full of MAGA and Trump commemorative merch. All roads lead to grift. All of them.
  22. This. Elon is TSLA, TSLA is Elon. Kind of like how there is no GOP but Trump anymore. The TSLA board has to be ride-or-die with Elon. Let's hope the outcome is "die." Because fuck all of them, and fuck the economic enshittification that is "meme stocks."
  23. Zelensky sure as hell better make sure there are no bone saws in the room. A meeting with the US and the Saudis? His trust level should be -1000%.
  24. Black dude: "Look, I know the clan says I am mud people, and should be removed from the country and sent back to Africa, but that's just rhetoric. I really support them because of their community-oriented focus and approach. I'll never join up with the lefties at the NAACP and such. But this actual program of nabbing black people and putting them on ships back to Africa is distracting from our core message, and it just might push me out of the Klan!" Dude. DUDE. The "hatred and marginalization of the other" is not a bug, it's not an appurtenance....it's a feature, it's the fucking core function of the product. You fucking idiots.
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