JerrysJheriCurl

Searching for masseuses on Instagram is a thing? I haz a case of the olds and am not on any social media platforms (sans Surl)...so... Can someone help me understand the purpose of being on Instagram? And then explain to me why anyone would use Instagram to find a masseuse. I am thoroughly confused.

This may be heading for a 30 for 30. I can’t imagine what the tag line would be though. What if I told you... (Have at it Surl. We got some creative fucks. Do that voodoo y’all do so well.)

If her description of the tip doesn’t fit... you must acquit!!!

Yeah, I remember the hostage video by CC he recorded after that. I think he was hanging out with @Uncle Boobs the night before, learning how to seduce a Cuban. Daniela found an Astros cup with lipstick on it, at the foot of the bed... and kicked him in the ribs while he was sleeping.

I get my one hour massage in Houston Chinatown off of Bellaire Blvd. JL Foot Spa. $20. Totally worth it. Before the Surl surls too hard... it ain’t a happy ending place. Not sure how that place makes money, but I’ve been going there for years. A professional athlete getting that many massages in that window... by not the masseuses that are employed or recommended by the team... it ain’t illegal... but that’s not some quality decision making.

Damn bro. Good call. Almost forgot about that situation. Have some rep.

Username NOT checking out

Here is my futile attempt at a Cliff’s Notes that I have gleaned from lawsuit. There is a lot more details, as it’s 8 pages. It’s filed in Harris County and online, if you want to read it. Apparently there is going to be 4 lawsuits. Two have been filed. Deshaun “met” chica on Instagram, as that’s where she advertises her business. That’s what younglings do apparently. She’s from Atlanta. He slides into her DMs, as the kids say. They exchange DMs and Deshaun asks for a massage. She gets excited, because she’s small time, yet NFL superstar wants a massage from her. According to her, he asks if she’s comfortable with working the gluteus and groin area. He offers to fly her in for said massage. She agrees. They meet at the Houstonian for the massage. She starts the massage. She claims he says to work the “inner part of his anus” and near “his genitals.” Yeah I know it’s the Surl and all of y’all are fapping to the above paragraph, but whatever. She claims that he was naked during massage and that his pito was completely exposed. She said she offered a towel and he refused. She became uncomfortable, stopped the massage and asked to leave. This was all in August of last year.

Agree with the status wise. Money... not so much. I believe she’s Bobby Jr.’s, daughter. Nasty ole family fighting in a recent court case where Bobby essentially sued his younger brother. It was dismissed. Lots of bad blood internally with that family. If memory serves me correct, Ross (younger brother) runs the company and cut off older brother’s financial and in-kind benefits a few years back. Ross has a daughter (Elle aka Elizabeth) that was a named a trustee to The Moody Foundation a few years ago. I don’t believe younger Frances (Bobby’s daughter) is one. And neither is Bobby. A smarter Surler than I can corroborate this and/or correct anything I misstated or left out. Mongo is just a pawn in the game of life.

When the lawyer claims to be a friend/neighbor of the owner of the team... who has a strained relationship with the QB... It doesn’t pass the smell test. It may be something. It may be nothing. But as the kids say... it’s sus.

Part of the Latina Holy Trinity of the 70s and early 80s. Daisy Duke and Raquel complete the troika. Sign a brotha up for that Trifecta.

I haz the confusion on the Buzbee dude, so someone help a Surl Brotha out. He touts himself as a tough guy Marine, but let’s the defendant know about the case... through Instagram post. Declares himself a woman’s rights activist, but proposed and is engaged to a sugar baby. Talks about not making excuses for NFL quarterbacks, but bought a billboard to try to convince Texans to draft Johnny Manziel. States how sharp his acumen and skills are ... but matriculated from A&M. I get the duality of man. However, can one brave Surl untie the above mentioned Gordian Knots for me?

Is that a serious question? Inconceivable! Have you ever met or interacted with Cal McNair? Combine that with Jack Easterby and Tony Buzbee. Those three together are a very solid brain trust. One that would make Vizzini proud. Not sure if three minds of that caliber have ever been assembled. Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons. What could possibly go wrong with the Texans and the Deshaun situation with those 3 mental giants working together?

SIAP. WTF? No piece of meat deserves that. RIP. You see what happens Larry!?!?!

That’s pretty funny. Hilarious as it sounds, there’s actually a kernel of truth of how we browns rank other browns, based on nationality (melanin count, aside). Most of it is just good fun and a lot of teasing between the browns. You are off though, my good man. Ask a Mexican about Nicas, Ticos, Guatamaltecos, Salvadoreños, etc and you will get a colorful conversation. Or ask about the boludos, uruwashos, cafeteros, etc. Pinche sudacas 🤣 What’s even more intriguing is the “ranking” within a country. We have colorful nicknames for people, depending on the city they are from. Ask a chilango (DF) about someone from chiapas. They call my people “regios (short for regiomontanos, because of the nearby mountains) or “codos (because we are tight with our money),” as we are from Monterrey on my momma side. Or ask a caraqueño about a maracucho (los marabinos dicen... como esta la verga?).

You gotta go through some miedra to sing this song right. Have plenty of tequila nearby. And whatever you do, don’t drink dial her.

Yeah, have a lot of close friends from there. They are referred to as norteños, and the “old” families are Lujan, Martinez, Chavez, Trujillo... to name a few. Respectfully, disagree on the food. Tomasita’s in Santa Fe, beef and bean burrito with green. Charlie’s Spic and Span in Las Vegas, with their homemade tortillas. La Cocina in Española, best lamb costillas I’ve had.

Or not. That’s a common misconception. The Umayyad Caliphate ruled Spain for quite a while, along with other Arab/Amazhigi folk. My people can be traced back to Sevilla on one side and Úbeda on the other. Both are in Andalusia (Al-Andalus). Needless to say, like all Mexicanos, I have relatives that fair skinned with red hair and blue eyes and relatives with mucho melanin, black hair and dark eyes. Just depends on which genotype and phenotype they acquired in the wonderful mestizo pool. Dark characteristics are dominant. Doesn’t necessarily mean you are more Inca, Azteca, Maya. It could be your Arab, Amazhigi genes letting their freak flag fly. Now, as far as what is valued among our mestizo culture, that’s a different conversation. And you are spot on. And as you said it’s slowly dwindling. A lot of that is based on historic and ethnic ignorance. Sprinkle in some self-loathing in there too. An intriguing phenomenon are my brethren in northern New Mexico. Most identify as Spanish and not Mexican. However, ask them for a tortilla and they will not give you an egg/potato quiche. Nomenclature can be confusing. What you are genetically and how you identify culturally, ethnically may not be the same. I will use myself as an instrument. I’m American (nationality), Mexican (culturally), Mestizo (ethnically) and Tejano (by the grace of God, subculture). As humans we are are all mixed, some more than others. It’s math. Humans have been traveling and having sex with each other for thousands of years.

What the heck are mestizo characteristics? And Carlos Slim Helu would like to have a word with you, my good man.

Yeah, I don’t have a “drag files here to attach...” in my my reply area. Just the b,i, u, emoji, link, gif, eye and quote. On the bottom, just the insert image from URL. Am I doing something wrong? Most likely, as I have the old.

@immamac I am trying to imbed/upload a photo from my Google photos on my iPhone. Can you explain to me, like I am 3 year old, how to do it? I can’t seem to figure it out. Or maybe it’s because I’m not using Tapa? Appreciate you sir, in advance.

Bump. Stumbled along this thread. Here’s a primer on mariachi, not in any order. 1. Best of Los Panchos, Double CD 2. Anything Juan Gabriel 3. Luis Miguel, Romance and Segundo Romance albums 4. Linda Ronstadt, Canciones de Mi Padre album 5. Chente aka Vicente Fernandez. Anything and everything. 6. Cuco Sánchez, Fallaste Corazón (Luis Miguel and Veronica Castro did a solid version) 7. Rocío Dúrcal, Amor Eterno 8. Pedro Infante, Cien Años 9. Los Dandy’s, especially Gema 10. The Best of Joe Fred Volumes 1 and 2. Especially, No Me Amenaces and Si No Dejan. Y’all may know him Jose Alfredo Jimenez. Exhibit A of why I have always dated mostly Mexicanas. Ahua!

Both have played a significant role in Iraqi-American and Persian-American geopolitical movidas in the past 40 years.

1. Rent/buy a place in EaDo. Rail is right there if he wants to go to other spots. 2. Walk to work and Astros/Dynamo games. 3. Walk to downtown restaurants and crawl to and from EaDo bars. 4. Profit

Very impressive my man. Very impressive. You know your stuff. Will leave names out, but I can confirm both. The father died of heart attack/pneumonia. Or so I was told. Allegedly.