Brother, you are not alone. Reading your post was eerie, like I was reading my story. I joined the Air Force in my mid 20's, used to be really outgoing, never met a stranger, etc. I was a medical technician, including some time flying as a rescue medic. My PTSD symptoms didn't show up until mid 2015, 7 years after I retired. My symptoms are very similar to yours, and my reactions too, right down to the avoiding family, friends, kids and grandkids. I had been seeing a mental health doc at the VA for depression since early 2014. I denied all the other shit that was going down in my life until late 2017. It got to the point I couldn't hide the anger, the guilt, the hermit that I had become. Now being tried on different meds looking for one or combo that works. still going through that, haven't seen much improvement yet, but a little. In the pipeline to be evaluated for one on one counseling. Pretty long wait here. There is a group that meets weekly here at the satellite clinic I go to mostly. been trying to work up the ability to go. Admitting you cant handle what is happening to you and taking that first visit is the toughest. Stay with the program, and don't give up. You will get better. It wont happen quickly, but you will get better. I don't know when you first sought help, but just in the 6 months or so since I admitted I could not take this shit anymore, but refused to check out, I have seen small, incremental improvements. You are extremely fortunate your wife understands and stands by you. That is huge. I'm not quite as fortunate. Hang in there. We will get better. Use your resources and stay the course. I tell myself these 3 things every day. And I hope and pray our brothers and sisters get help before its too late.