Over 30 years ago, I lived across the street from this 17/18 year old kid, named (coincidentally) Jerry. Jerry would come over to hang out, because he wasn’t getting along with his stepdad.
One day he came over and wanted to talk about his situation. He had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. He was wondering what to do. I told him, “Well, Jerry, you’ve got a couple of decisions to make. One of them isn’t ‘whether or not you’ll be a father’, because,…it looks like you’re going to be a father.
“You have to decide whether or not to marry her. Some people will tell you that you have to, but you don’t. You need to figure out if that’s what’s best, if you two can love and commit and be a good marriage. It may be that you know it’s not right, that it won’t work out. If so, you don’t have to marry her.
“You also have to decide whether you’ll be a good father or a bad father, and that’s a completely different decision than whether you marry. If you don’t marry, you’re still a father. Are you going to be a good one or a bad one? That’s up to you”.
He ended up marrying her, getting a job, and last I knew was making it all work.
Jerry Jones wanted to be a bad father-to have no contact or involvement with his child- but not be known as a bad father. He wanted to pay for silence. He wanted to maintain the image as a doting father for his children with Jean, and not have anybody know of his other child.
He has made it clear that he has paid as much as he was going to, and won’t pay any more, that he won’t acknowledge this daughter, won’t let her into his or his family’s lives. He’s a bad father.
Maybe the girl has decided she doesn’t want to support this fiction, that it was a deal her mother made, but she’s not signing on. Maybe she doesn’t want to support the fiction that Jerry Jones’s a good father. That’s her right.