We were seeing a counselor (against her will, imagine that), but it didn't pan out. Don't get me wrong, our attitudes were completely different going in. I wanted conviction, and I wanted to be rocked, so I could make fundamental changes in my life. She currently runs from conviction and struggle (minions doing work). However, the counselor was a jerk, in my opinion. He didn't know how to handle people differently. He spoke to me on my character/personality level, and got through to me, but he tried to talk to her in the same regard, and it backed her into a corner. Yes, part of that was conviction, but he didn't handle her with grace. I'm not just sticking up for her, b/c I think there is some "cop out" in it, but he was an arse.
I've sense been talking to a new counselor, a pastor friend, who has been in credible. He's a professional in character value set analysis and application and works with high profile people in state and federal governments (secret service to name one). He has been wonderful for me, and it is not anything I'm forcing on my wife, as badly as I want her to participate. Over our 12 year marriage, it didn't matter how hard she tried (same with alcoholism), no changes were going to be made unless ETB decided to make changes for the good of his own self. As a believer, I truly believe in the power of prayer, so all I can do is relentlessly pray, seek positive earthly counsel, seek the Word, and seek Christ through thought and action. May the fruits of my labor be a light to encourage change.