Thx for the replies.
I will say this... there's no one-size-fits-all answer or experience, but...
... even the most connected people have a limit on "word of mouth" friends networks. In this day and age of course, there's always the chance that your song could catch on, draw 100,000 hits on YouTube in a week, and you might be off and running. And make no mistake about it... IF that happens, the game will change dramatically. People will be knocking on your door, you'll get lots and lots of love, and solicitations (probably both the legal and illegal kind). And to be honest, it's not that much of a pipe dream today... it can and does happen more than you'd think. The wheels turn themselves with that bit of luck. The music world is a lot different now, but not overly so in some business ways - the big boys still want to distribute and will pay. If you get "that hit" (like 500,000 and up YouTube hits) lookout. People will be calling for you. More than say 2 million and there's a good chance you'll have a decent career stretch (2-3 years).
But still that's maybe 1/10,000 acts; for the most part, you have to work at it to get known. But the good news is, it's fairly easy to get yourself a decent audience with some work. My bio is too long to go over here, but I was entertained by a record company in the 80's. More on that another time. But there are enough old coots like me who like "my music" and I'm very confident that with organization, good marketing (that's a little complicated, more later), and some effort (not self-kiling degrees, either... can be done without 24/7 obsession), I will have an audience of six figures, and maybe over 1M visits.
I'm never going to be a Taylor Swift or Sam Smith-level household name; I'm way too old and although strikingly good looking (lol!), 21 year olds aren't gonna buy someone's granddad's music habitually. So the thing to do is to decide what YOU want to play and then find the market for it, and tailor it. I'd have more to say on that. But i.e. maybe my market is 45-70. No, it won't be 4 million, but there's a helluva good chance I can get 10K in with some organized work. If not, I'm still doing what I love and wouldn't trade it for nuthin.' We can go more into the biz down the road. For now just keep doing what YOU like and when and if someone tells you
"do this or change this and you can sell!" you'll have to decide how much to compromise (and you WILL have to). Unless of course you get that huge Internet hit... next week, right?
Oh, and I think it's free to join BMI, and $50 to join ASCAP. I can tell you the differences and what to do to choose... most pop musicians have joined BMI, but ASCAP is trying to make a resurgence from the days when sheet music, not recordings, dominated the publishing industry. there's also GMO, but they're invitation only and are selective, trying to nab the biggest fish, so don't expect much from that yet.
Also remember that these organizations are not publishing companies - they're performing rights companies. Actually I can register my publishing company with say BMI and I will eventually, but for companies there's a charge of like $300 or something (have to look it up). All these do is try to get money for you if someone plays your song, or negotiate rights with publishers to pay you if someone does. For most of us, it's like chump change (I know a guy who got a 7 cent check from BMI!), but it's good to have in place, just in case you hit a big (or even half-big) one.